my time to shine

yo yo yo its my time to shine no time to hide must bust out all my skills i m not like thoses muthafuckaz popin pills my rhymes to ill my spit is straight up real its my time to sho my style its my time run buck wild its my time to go all out im the masterpiece youv been waiting for im pushin the limits n i wont be ignored you wanna battle well ready for a freestyle war so stad yo grownd cuz ima sho my perfect skils screwin your head with drells see i aint gotta explane cuz my flow is so off the chain

truthfully this was funny as hell
the structure of this whole piece wuz very outta place and fucked up needs work...
but i feel dat if u wrote it differently, this woulda been a nice drop doe...

and can u check dis out doe see wut u thought i gave my opinion give yours my nig 1
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=221535

it wasnt that good...i think you need to put more vocabulary and stop using the same words over and over..if you get that right it should be a good piece
no hate just stating my opinion
but keep up the hard work
your pucnlines dont make you think put some wordplay in there and stuff and itll be good

funny piece..your structure was weak...and most other aspects were weak..had imagery and humor...other thna that you need to elevate alot...and read tha rules before you post something...hit up the link in my sig titled God has a Gun..id appreciate it.~1~

Last warning read the rules, or you will never be able to post in OM again.