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the industry
im no poet, but please dont critcize
spittin gods message, jus got baptized
most niggas be holding their nuts like they jus got circuscized
half of rap is just slavery in the modern day
all i gotta say is pass da cavarsciea(a bustaryhmes song)
orders are given to rappers everyday
u go platium, the suits take half your pay
but im not hear to jus blaze da whites
or jus type about our civil rights
all i wanna do is write
but im sittin on this computer.....i gotta type
gettin fresh ideas..... il wait til de ripe.
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open mic / poetry/off the top of my mind
short lil piece kinda off the poetic path in some parts but then revived in the offlines
for a first poetry piece i will off some advice
your theme was great you may want to add some depth or description words to help the reader become more involved in your piece
however with a few more from you
we could see something great in the future.
5-10
hazy
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uppin, please speak on diss,!!
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maybe you would do better off by pickin a certain topic to begin with and doin a poem off that. i thought this was going to be about the rap inductry or something when i saw the title. your structure for the poem needs work also, you need to use stronger vocab. i advise you to find a subject that interests you, then make a poem about it, add a little emotion to it also add a little more length to it next time.
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nice peice felt the imagery creativity was fine......complexity was good cud of been better but good ...keep it up ill be looking for more peices from u....oh yeah and i also liked how the title matched the peice...and go hit up ma peice honestly its intitled Brotherly Love
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