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Planets
http://www.blatherandbosh.com/blog/w...08/planets.jpg
PLANETS( )PLANETS
Bobericc
the chances of chances, evangelist answers, swelt in fears
are we unknowing of inanimate planets that are self aware?
these are serious antics, the details given are fabulous
the thing that-of who inhabit-trust, religions are fastuous
redemption is acting up, brutal fights, shoot advice
the cores frantic..
..a volcanic brew of the primordial pool of life
spew, then in a few it's do or die! global fluorescence
the truth soon divides to a total of more questions
before your short ending of intentional passions
symmetrical flatness, Einsteins three dimensional aspects
-and written code on a directional axis we're spinning in,
it's ascended them, envisioning a sense of rulelessness
shooting swift, through the mists -again, combining radiation
if surviving ain't amazing, now humans fly in spacious ages
with thriving aviation, technology might sustain creation
a place where saving, to find time and finally take vacations
fate containing planets with contaminates, natural medicines
factual impediments, bacteria between unimaginable entrances,
erratical temperatures, and Saturn's just next to us, watching..
no metropolis Martians, but Titan passes with venturous waters
planets of infinite knowledge, almost endlessness conscious
I believe you've given this garden of eden, but the evil in us
stopped what we're seeing-
-haunted pasts, plants hyper evolving fast
past philosophical teachings, those finding possible meaning
in what they start to believe in... Planets....
Bronze Budda
vast planets cradle infinite possibilities
movement times mass, in exclusive unity
black holes pull in your soul, whole
spits out residue that sparkles like gold
behold the endless dispair of creatings
that are feared, chain reactive phases
in Jupiter's atmosphere, can you ponder
this somber galaxy, the study of the
universe is key. truly, knowledge is well
drink your fill, fully..
alien beings, odd machines, to gain
profit like starbuck coffee beans
we fathom the depths inside of space
phantoms that can decide your fate
in dark matter you meet your demise
look to the eyes, in forever night
illumines light, can you harvest
the attributes of solar soup
revitalized within meteorites
the size of life?..
gravity is useless, time remains elusive
deprivation- your final destination..
planets sure to feel the colors mix
like apples and orange peels
all will yield, my cycle conceals
what life spawns in ice forms
bringing humans bodily harm,
before we knew the sun,
that proves the dawn
the dusk when the moon is gone
before a god in Jerusalem,
they used to run the surface, lurking
with spiked spines and serrated arms,
ancient life lines, to the day they thaw
staying paused, frozen in cryostasis
-the basics, if you want something in life
you take it...
Note to reader [I know; whats the point?]:
if you have trouble understanding some areas...
old link
(eye in the sky)
my alias is cronos, you'll realize why i added the saturn references
this track will become audio/bronze budda
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...
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Re: Planets
ok, ready for the feed leave links and bask in amazement son!
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Re: Planets
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Re: Planets
Your vocab on this was pretty dope. It also didnt affect the rhyme scheme which i thought was pretty impressive.
spew, then in a few it's do or die! global fluorescence
the truth soon divides to a total of more questions
before your short ending of intentional passions
symmetrical flatness, Einsteins three dimensional aspects
that was just str8 dopeness.
Overall I felt the collab was pretty dope. Stayed on point through out, with good imagery. Stay up.
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rtf,
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ab-388182.html
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Re: Planets
I liked the first verse better than the second,,,
it had a much tighter better executed rhyme scheme
i really liked the creativity behind this topic it was a very unique piece
my favorite bar
before your short ending of intentional passions
symmetrical flatness, Einsteins three dimensional aspects
-and written code on a directional axis
simply dope
my fav from 2nd verse
look to the eyes, in forever night
illumines light, can you harvest
the attributes of solar soup
revitalized within meteorites
the size of life?..
i think i need to hear the audio for this 2nd verse to better understand how it flows
i can tell there are really dope concepts throughout and i bet im missing a more complex rhyme scheme u have going on
def enoyed reading this collab it was well executed and had a great feel to it
honorable mention for best bar
if surviving ain't amazing, now humans fly in spacious ages
with thriving aviation, technology might sustain creation
a place where saving, to find time and finally take vacations
great statement on the human condition
overall grade,,,,,,B plus (my plus key is broken)
first verse was an A
second verse a B
imo
good shit by both of u tho i will def check back for more
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Re: Planets
First bar was better than the second... anyways you used imagery and creativity which made this topic a little interesting.
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Re: Planets
this shit was straight, feeling like Bobericc had the better verse, although both of yall just came average in my eyes, the whole subject although original and inventive, was a lil' too out there for it to be relevant or relatible in anyone's eyes, and having no chorus present made it clear this was some strictly 'text' shit, which ultimately is pointless unless all you're seeking for your work is some internet props. but the writing aspect of it was on point nonetheless, just work on more relevant topics and writing if you want to go anywhere with what you write.
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Re: Planets
fuck... well with all due respect gen, that was pretty bias feed, I can tell your someone who listens to a lot of mainstream rap, because basically you said, my piece was just 'straight' because there was no chorus and i didnt write something that you could relate to-but because i chose to write something more than simple worldly problems and take the whole picture and also integrate the possibilities of us living on what created us. and then to top it all off by assuming that i drop the pieces i do in search of some long awaited internet props like i'm a fiend for someone saying "your piece is soo dope, let me suck your nutsack!".... not to be arrogant, but i know the shits dope, i'm not fucking posting it so you can say how dope i am, its so i can get a reaction from some of these potatoheads and let me know what your thoughts are on it. faggot
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Re: Planets
wow...this shit was epic...great collab.
Bobericc....for me, you had the better verse. Your vocab was insane (INSANE!!!) and during most of the middle I started thinking about this Cannibal Ox beat...and then applying that with your verse put a smile on my face, while I was a mile in space. Did I mention how I loved your multis? Because I do...
To be honest...I'm still tweaking from your verse...shit was dope...
9.46/10.....highest rating I've ever given a written...feel honored
and to be honest I can't review the other guy's verse yet, give me some time...your verse is too good for me to not read it again.
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Re: Planets
Alrightt . Pretty good piece . Bobericc the best thing about your piece is the strong vocabulary that you used . Its better then just using regular words that people hear everrrydayy. The strong vocabulary didn't throw off your flow either which makes it very good. You both used good multis in your parts as well which stood out to me a lot. Pretty good piece . Keep itt upp.
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Re: Planets
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Re: Planets
I keep meaning to comment on this piece.....I thought this was a nice collab....you both flow rather nicely together...both verses were very different which made for a more interesting read....the topic and comparisons were nice....Vocab was really well used in both verses which stayed very consistent...blah blah...nice piece....kepp em comin...
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Re: Planets
I liked this drop... Somethin different. Flow was aight, nothin special. Vocab was pretty good in this one, not overused, which is a good thing. Rhyming was on point, but to me the multis were just eh. I did like it tho, pretty original, only complaint i have is the flow, it's not bad, but not good. maybe I'm just not reading it right... idk. good shit, stay up. I'd appreciate some feed on "Freestyle Keepin It Raw" when you get a chance.