To: Dear Mama

Dear Mama

https://youtu.be/Mb1ZvUDvLDY


You gave me life it could’ve been abortion
And I know he died with only $100k this isn’t about fortune
I know all about wanting to earn it on my own
Why there is several reasons I will always put you on that thrown
You never let go and now you still here
You respected my family but checked in every year
“The arts found your baby” that could be read in more ways than one
The darts I wanted to throw at imus too and how it’s all done
My fire inside I now know why it burns
Or my passions as I sit back and learn
Was it rape? I’ll ask that cause they did it to me too
I don’t know what you call it when that level of hate for generations consume
But I’ll give them room to breathe
Just on a whim that they conspire to achieve
My smile… I see it’s the same
The eyes lips and nose
And even that ironic panther name
And in all I suppose
I suppose that nature and nurture is real and a soul just as privy
That bitch used to call me black girl - did she know the deal and just kept it from me?
Who needs a friend as weak as that
I seen when 5 jumped now I know why sometimes I can see like a cat

In my city all secrets that I never knew
I learned how much they hated me too
And every time when I wipe these tears from my eye
I just wish I had a chance to meet you or at least say goodbye
Why?
My mom sick today and I hope she’s not mad
I don’t know why my father chose to take it to his grave cause it all didn’t have to be so sad
It’s sucks at being good at something bad
But that option was one that pac never let me have
Thank god cause I never wanna risk and go to jail
I shivered like a bitch and bit off all my nails
I guess I’m not as hard as I thought I was
And even in here too
You pop off you back it up and that’s just how it does
Give and take or just how they do
I’ll try harder I just don’t want to gain anymore weight
And as superficial as that feels I can pin it to the exact date
Nah… I don’t wanna wait…
Queen I’ll make a promise to you
And always cherish the black girl magic you gave to me too
If I fall and get sick again I’m a get back up
Cause that’s something inherent inside not courage you find in a cup

And on this day I promise you for ever more
That I won’t roll my eyes and say whatever and let them paint me like some whore
But all alone I walked out that door…
I was just so mad and hurt I couldn’t take it anymore
Dear lady I want you to know this too
That I will forever be grateful for the sting that bee bring cause I came from you
And that I had an Angel like 2
If it was me… idk if I could’ve did it
But you sucked it up and gave me life and let me live it
My love for you too will have no limit
I wish I had a trinket I could keep in a box
To remind me never give them the keys to my locks
Not that I did I don’t know how it happened
And I didn’t know shit about a map then
I need time to sit and just think
And learning to do so without sipping on a drink
Pac… henny turned to honey these days and I suppose you already know
I don’t know shit about a game so please blow on these dice before I throw…
Im ready to go…