My first piece

Iraq is back in action causing a distraction
in reaction to this state of inaction //

we back again with the flack an the
knack of knockin back with out any slack //

while we have war planes they knockin at your door
with some c4 to hide in your drawer //

I will use the hidden rage to wage war
on all those who want my people to be no more//

some people say terrorism is their way but
today we will show them a new array of shock an awe//

the people of Saddam claimin we wont bomb
but if they breathe our toke I guarantee they choke//

those who seek destruction of me will soon see
the wrath of thee with a ting of glee from within me//

we have wings of supersonic flight so we can take you
while u shiverin in fright in the heat of the night//

justice will be served to those we deserve the might
and the fight within my country for all those in memory//

in the mist of the night within the mighty blast full of might
the sky will explode as if the sky itself will unfold//

as I go u lose control as if im bout to tear out ya soul
for a toll to make the circle whole//

get yo kicks with murder n deception which is no
exception so u will have to face our interception//

I have a lethal arsenal in my grasp that’ll make ya gasp
as if have a “asp” as my symbol to show im nimble//
(a asp is a type of cobra but my use of it is when it is meant as a symbol of power over life and death)
as the night turns ta day u will stand there in dismay
as the aftershock forces you to obey//

all you can say is tha it don pay ta run away you’ll jus
become prey cuz we don play with the hollow points we spray//

aight all this is y first piece on her so don ripp on me too bad i wrote this awhile ago and i m truly sorry if the topic agravates you in any way it isnt ment ta do tha

uppin

it was nice, almost brought a tear to my eye. the topic is kind of old now but it still is a nice peice

ya i no the topic is old but i wrote it awhile ago i jus never postedit like all my stuff any ways thanks for the post

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uppin

hey im uppin for some feedback

Hmm, i KNOW you're expecting me...But i'ma surprise you and not complain much.
The good points:

You've got a good 'ye olde' feel in parts as if you're planning to write history, it's intriguing;
'the wrath of thee '

'justice will be served'
This is a nice patriotic line which will relate to anyone, especially full-blooded Americans as living in the country alone forces patriotism.
Though this peice is very inspiring for a first one, i can't help but think it was dying to be emotional, but stayed below the surface...

Also, Iraq isn't really causing problems: 'Iraq is back in action causing a distraction', they were never in action, Saddam was at one point, you will recall that these weapons were sold to them through Americans themselves whether directly or not. Just ponting out that the historical context is blurred

Also there is hypocrisy, which should always be avoided in politics, although it is always present, hiding this benefits the outlook of your emotions and the peice wholly: 'the people of Saddam claimin we wont bomb
but if they breathe our toke I guarantee they choke'

Is that not generally implying use of Weapons of Mass Destruction, something you are trying to get rid of? And once again, Saddam has no people, he only has dogs, filthy dogs who are called politicians who are afraid to stand up for what every Iraqi wants, freedom.

I will tell of something here, in the hope that i will not receive prejudice...I am Arabic, and proud. Just as you may be American, African or anywhere and proud.
I say, as long as the innocent are not harmed and infastructure is given to the country, Americans MUST fight to remove Saddam, after all if they lost, who would win? This modern day Stalin? My father was tortured by Saddam, my uncle's and aunt's and cousins, killed, this man sent back a bag of bones to signify their death...I feel this peice, i agree with it, but i can't help thinking you are attacking the people rather than the politicians.

Overall, a nicely written peice, for a first of course, i can see emotion and if only it were brought out further. The structure needs some more concentration, but this isn't a bad peice by any means. Congrats on your first B-Squared

first of all you have my condolences for your loss i feel ya i wrote this awhile ago when saddam was threatin us and shit n yes he doesnt have people i agree. to me most politicians are complete pussys and would rather sit back in ther chairs and not do shit (chou the french gh no beef) and the line regarding toke u take it as in missles but the toke i m refering to is our country as a whole moving in to take him out to free the people of iraq and all others he has tortured over these past very very long 20+ years (mainly the kurds) back to the "dogs" i too agree that thses men are tru cowards and i hope they are not ther to lead the new iraq into the future otherwise we will be back again

Iraq isnt causing major problems but to me losing on average of 2 men and women in arms is a cuase of major cocern actualy i do bielive we should take action instead of letting these people (if thas wha you wanna call them, killing inocent people abd soilders in a market playing ball with the local kids) continue to do this

""I will tell of something here, in the hope that i will not receive prejudice...I am Arabic, and proud. Just as you may be American, African or anywhere and proud.
I say, as long as the innocent are not harmed and infastructure is given to the country, Americans MUST fight to remove Saddam, after all if they lost, who would win? This modern day Stalin? My father was tortured by Saddam, my uncle's and aunt's and cousins, killed, this man sent back a bag of bones to signify their death...I feel this peice, i agree with it, but i can't help thinking you are attacking the people rather than the politicians.""

you are trully right i do also bielive the US coulda went about it a lil differently but if you think about it ITS A WAR and we have had only about 35 colateral damage's thas pretty damn good as you and the rest of the world can see we have our wepons so precis tha we could drop them threw your chimney in Vietnam our wepons were ballistic no guidence look how many inoccent people were killed they figure about 1/3 of every 200,000 killed were inocent 30 years later we have 34 losses to our 270 somthin so i do bielive tha the US has done as much as they can to go after the men who are to blame and not the people of iraq

hey Deceit no hate/beef right???




.............................................UPPIN ..................................................

hey im uppin for some feed

Iraq isnt causing major problems but to me losing on average of 2 men and women in arms is a day cuase of major cocern actualy i do bielive we should take action instead of letting these people (if thas wha you wanna call them, killing inocent people abd soilders in a market playing ball with the local kids) continue to do this


my bad

Sorry, didn't check this, no beef, nice to have someone agree, but do you know about Bloody Sunday in Ireland sometime ago? January 30th 1979 I believe. Look it up if you don't. This also happened in Iraq, 14 people, 4 children were killed whether on purpose or by accident i do not know. They were allegedly parading for Saddam's birthday.
4 young girl's, i believe, were also killed in a church during the American oppression of African's at one point and 14 people dies on Bloody Sunday, though this instant is not a recognized event...They were by all means definitely innocent, why is this so low key? It just makes you feel, excuse the cliche, 'violated'

Anyway, i did still like this peice and realised it as a work of emotion and anger, and no there is no beef at all!

i have never heard of the bloody sunday incodent i will look into it and post back

in my research of that topic it seemed that there were to many people in high place that were hostile so when the "attack" happened ther was no way of telling who was good and who was bad so in tha cases a person must think that all are hostile untill further intel arives but for the killing of inoccent children in the african church i have no excuse of for our actions but all i can say is that no one is perfect (even the red white and blue) but someone must have fucked up but im am almost positive that all involved were prosecuted


on the bloody sunday it was hevily covered up so ther are many diferent verson of what happened that day so ther is no telling who is to blame for what actions, but it goes to show that this event is wha i like to call a keneddy event or something that the goverment will hide and will never realese (prolly to cever ther ass's)



( no hate or beef by any thing i said)

hey im uppin fo some feed

Yo, i was only talkin' bout the fact that 14 people dies there, 4 people died in the church and 14 people also died in Iraq and there was no remorse in the Iraqi incident by the media or new networks, but in the other incidents, they became historical and something to learn durin' a history lesson......But when the Iraqi's died there wasn't much said about it at all, not even condolences, but i hate to go on about this, the point is your peice was good, and i look forward to readin' more and watchin' you elevate to poetic mastery!

tahts deep man really feelin da multis almost convinced me that Iraq did it haha but overall nice drop keep droppin da illness man 1

hey thanx for all the feed back an sry but now i see what ya were gettin at deceit n youhave a very good point


thanx for the feed


..resp..

A familiar topic, one close to my heat and mind, in more way's than you would expect. Content, was there, flow was there for most of the piece. I likd what you did to dilute the emotion in a way, it doesn't come off as heated or insincere. Good work for your first post, it really reminds me of my style and structure on such a topic. I can see you have abilities and look forward to your elevation.

All this talk about targeting inaccuracies, I take that personal, cuz you both know that is one of my functions, target aqusiton. Now in the heat of combat, there is no other military in history of the world, that takes the precautions of selected targeting. We have pured ton's of money into designing smart munitions, who else has that credential. I am so sick fo hearing people so insignificant to the cause, arguee the results of misguided munitions. How could anyone one who claims to have an ounce of grey matter, compare our actions with that of the historical records of war. That is assinine, no country has ever worked harder at protecting the inocent durring conflict, than ours. The very reason we dropped the bomb on Japan, was to end the killing, by an act of displying and awe inspinring hit. We could have chose more populated ares'a to decimate, yet we choose the less of the evil. We knew if the war was to continue it would only mean devistation to both sides. That equates to more death and rapping of the inocent, so we decided to bring an end to the conflict, the only way possible at that time. Everyone here claims to know this and that, fucken conspirists, let's touch on fact. Fact one the world would be a a much more dangerous place without US intervention. You can not disprove this fact... End of arguement. I would really love to host a discusion on this topic with you two and who ever else is bright enough to remove emotion from a logical conversation. Respect to all, and God Bless America...

I have to say, i agree, with you both and your war posts, i agree, i simply wanted to know if there was prejudice, i see there isn't, only a genuine hope for the greater good...And whether this is the way or not, at least people want peace to stay alaive, and you know, as long as America doesn't agree with totilatarianism, it's fine.
Oh, and bounce, i agree, in war, innocent people die it happens, and i also agree that America is the most advanced so they do target specifically, they are not killers, simply soldiers tryin' to follow orders...And hey, munitions? Sometimes people make mistakes, and i am not degrading the loss of lives to 'hey people make mistakes' but some things are uncontrollable...

B-sq. It's nice to know i got through to you, in some way we agreed, and can i make a request? Could you write a poem again, on the same topic, like bounce did with wage war and free at last, i would love to see the change considering all this discussion.

By the way, i'm aware i talk too fuckin' much and probly think too fuckin' much for a 15 year old!

aight bounce is an honor to get a response llike tha from you and i totally agree with ya and i say ya start an argument on this site somewhere so we all can get the truth out and show everyone that the us does more thgan you think in everything


pm or somethin if ya agree onmakin such a thing if ya want i will



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b

hey deceit i totally agree with ya too ill work on a new one tonight jus for ya and no ya don think to much for a 15 year old
and no you dont talk to much this is a place to get things out and to elevate and by all this discussion we are elevating with ourself and echother



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I agree with B-sq. And if you have an argument, you need someone competent, if i do say so myself, to argue, even though i believe we are at an agreement there is some i would like ta question, nice idea B-sq.

lol koo but it wasnt my idea i don take gredit for other peoples stuff bounce ther came up with it thas the only reason i saiid we should do it so don thank me thank bounce ther for a good idea


UPPIN FO SOME FEED BACK



..resp..

I'll definatley start a thread in emce interaction one of these day's, but right now I have more pressing business to handle. North Korea, just keep that in your thought's, that's what I am ocupying myself with now. We should all be concerned by what is going on behind the scenes of the liberally controlled media. Kobe is getting more concern that the next possible war! That is just ignorance at it's best...

yea i never got that a couple of nucs could go off and holly wood would get more attention jus goes ta show you how the US media and lifestyle has changed over the last 15 years

is sad actually

pm me when ya guys do start it

Kobe, now that's a good topic, man can he slam, North Korea? Who cares, now Kobe, you think he gon braid his hair again and again until it gets all worn? his hair is important to us......

Ahem, sorry, good idea bounce......

hahahahaha nice joke ther deceit lol


UPPIN FOR SOME FEEDBACK PEOPLE



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hey people i need some more feedback instead of jus 2 people



UPPIN FOR SOME FEEDBACK

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hey im uppin for some feed like the ones up above

UPPIN Please any body

uppin for the last time people give me some feed

aight last time any one else with some good feedback???