Week 1: Ryno (0-0) vs. malediction (0-0) - RYNO WINS

LLL Season 24

https://i.ibb.co/9TVqDMM/lll24penthusiast.png

Rules[/center]

Due Dates:

Verses are due Thursday and will be open until Sunday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours



Line Limit:

Minimum of 10, maximum of 16 (unless higher limit agreed upon)
If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first.


Check ins are mandatory. Also, swaying/biting/recycling is a DQ.

FAILURE TO VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES IS A DQ. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE!!! YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES OR YOU LOSE. SIMPLE!


@Ryno @malediction

Hey babe, here for 12. Will post tonight or tomorrow

12 is good

Malediction aka Elegant Elephant

I could never rock or hit a spot w/ u. So fkn suspect how could ur style compel us?
If male clubs w/ the pole by his side, it’s cuz he’s got his dick swingin for a crowd of fellas.
Them cartoonish antics’ll get u vanished. And trust me jack, I won’t care it hurts…
Not only am I bringing Max Steel, I’m leaving ya face covered in it like that Psycho character.
Let me embellish this cats doom. Frauds like u always flex like it’s mad cool,
Homie the only time u’ve had heat in ur palms, is using the hand dryer before u exit the bathroom.
His women? Fables. U tap out w/ chicks cuz u never leave w/ a “winner” label,
Ur dates don’t just end w/ the cold shoulder. Bitches RKO u right through the dinner table.
Everything u package is lame. But this Mac range clearin ya flaws, every ounce…
W/O a doubt. Let’s see if Male man enough to deliver once I bring the dawgs out the house.
Wux sent u to the wrong stop, screwed. Him killing Ry? It’s a long shot, true…
I’ll skin dude. Then leave Elephant bones on display like that scene from Ong Bak 2.

1st off the name is Mal, the E is silent clown
And I kick ish and bout to relieve your bowels
My knife’ll part your flesh, dude my mark is death
I’ll retort your body... till you fart your breath
Fine bro I got your back, talking your spinal
bars you spit are wack, the sites like Ry NO!!!
You’re a son of a gun and i’m about cannons
Separate spirit from body till you're out standing
I know, i know, that’s a far reach, you bore ish
I’m to the letter and you’re Stark par, a poor Knick
You’re OK if it’s true things look better in slow-mo
and i’ll light up your top like pizza hut in logos

I could never rock or hit a spot w/ u. So fkn suspect how could ur style compel us?
If male clubs w/ the pole by his side, it’s cuz he’s got his dick swingin for a crowd of fellas.
pronunciation isnt male its mal
Them cartoonish antics’ll get u vanished. And trust me jack, I won’t care it hurts…
Not only am I bringing Max Steel, I’m leaving ya face covered in it like that Psycho character.
is his alias max? if not it would work better if it was. ok bar here
Let me embellish this cats doom. Frauds like u always flex like it’s mad cool,
Homie the only time u’ve had heat in ur palms, is using the hand dryer before u exit the bathroom.
light jab
His women? Fables. U tap out w/ chicks cuz u never leave w/ a “winner” label,
Ur dates don’t just end w/ the cold shoulder. Bitches RKO u right through the dinner table.
ok cool
Everything u package is lame. But this Mac range clearin ya flaws, every ounce…
W/O a doubt. Let’s see if Male man enough to deliver once I bring the dawgs out the house.
again with pronunciation
Wux sent u to the wrong stop, screwed. Him killing Ry? It’s a long shot, true…
I’ll skin dude. Then leave Elephant bones on display like that scene from Ong Bak 2.
pretty cool

vs

1st off the name is Mal, the E is silent clown
And I kick ish and bout to relieve your bowels
nah
My knife’ll part your flesh, dude my mark is death
I’ll retort your body... till you fart your breath
uhhh
Fine bro I got your back, talking your spinal
bars you spit are wack, the sites like Ry NO!!!
strongest bar yet but not very hard hitting
You’re a son of a gun and i’m about cannons
Separate spirit from body till you're out standing
coulda done more with this concept
I know, i know, that’s a far reach, you bore ish
I’m to the letter and you’re Stark par, a poor Knick
dont get it
You’re OK if it’s true things look better in slow-mo
and i’ll light up your top like pizza hut in logos
couolda been worded better but okish

ryno got this

v/ryno

@Ryno @malediction

can you edit my verse?

i meant "contort" instead of "retort" (4th line)
@Zunto @Wuxia


Too late, votes already came in.

-Zunto

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ryno

Malediction aka Elegant Elephant

I could never rock or hit a spot w/ u. So fkn suspect how could ur style compel us?
If male clubs w/ the pole by his side, it’s cuz he’s got his dick swingin for a crowd of fellas.
Would be decent but the pronunciation is off here
Them cartoonish antics’ll get u vanished. And trust me jack, I won’t care it hurts…
Not only am I bringing Max Steel, I’m leaving ya face covered in it like that Psycho character.
ok... decent flip but wording isn't clean
Let me embellish this cats doom. Frauds like u always flex like it’s mad cool,
Homie the only time u’ve had heat in ur palms, is using the hand dryer before u exit the bathroom.
Light
His women? Fables. U tap out w/ chicks cuz u never leave w/ a “winner” label,
Ur dates don’t just end w/ the cold shoulder. Bitches RKO u right through the dinner table.
Ok again
Everything u package is lame. But this Mac range clearin ya flaws, every ounce…
W/O a doubt. Let’s see if Male man enough to deliver once I bring the dawgs out the house.
Pronunciation again
Wux sent u to the wrong stop, screwed. Him killing Ry? It’s a long shot, true…
I’ll skin dude. Then leave Elephant bones on display like that scene from Ong Bak 2.
lol this is ok, had to do my research on the movie tho

---

vs

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by malediction

1st off the name is Mal, the E is silent clown
And I kick ish and bout to relieve your bowels
Statement
My knife’ll part your flesh, dude my mark is death
I’ll retort your body... till you fart your breath
not feeling this... tbh even reading contort using the word fart softens it for me
Fine bro I got your back, talking your spinal
bars you spit are wack, the sites like Ry NO!!!
Basic flip
You’re a son of a gun and i’m about cannons
Separate spirit from body till you're out standing
Not feeling this, the setup was going toward a flip on guns then the punch is out/standing so it isn't working for me
I know, i know, that’s a far reach, you bore ish
I’m to the letter and you’re Stark par, a poor Knick
I get the reference here but not the punch... Starks isn't poor
You’re OK if it’s true things look better in slow-mo
and i’ll light up your top like pizza hut in logos
ok concept

---

I got Ryno winning this one even with the botched pronunciation, set ups and punches worked better overall and the concepts were more clever.

Edited to change Mal's verse color to neutral

V/Ryno

Ryno - that palm/dryer line was pretty cool. I thought the rko thru the dinner table was dope fasho.

Male man - start reading thru the archives so you can get a better understanding of how verses work around here, I could tell you new to this shit.

Vote / Ryno

I could never rock or hit a spot w/ u. So fkn suspect how could ur style compel us?
If male clubs w/ the pole by his side, it’s cuz he’s got his dick swingin for a crowd of fellas.
Forced as that isn't how his name is pronounced
Them cartoonish antics’ll get u vanished. And trust me jack, I won’t care it hurts…
Not only am I bringing Max Steel, I’m leaving ya face covered in it like that Psycho character.
Choppy... doesnt flow well
Let me embellish this cats doom. Frauds like u always flex like it’s mad cool,
Homie the only time u’ve had heat in ur palms, is using the hand dryer before u exit the bathroom.
This could have been worded 100x cleaner
His women? Fables. U tap out w/ chicks cuz u never leave w/ a “winner” label,
Ur dates don’t just end w/ the cold shoulder. Bitches RKO u right through the dinner table.
Again the wording kills the concept
Everything u package is lame. But this Mac range clearin ya flaws, every ounce…
W/O a doubt. Let’s see if Male man enough to deliver once I bring the dawgs out the house.
Forced again with the name
Wux sent u to the wrong stop, screwed. Him killing Ry? It’s a long shot, true…
I’ll skin dude. Then leave Elephant bones on display like that scene from Ong Bak 2.
Eh... nah

vs

1st off the name is Mal, the E is silent clown
And I kick ish and bout to relieve your bowels
No
My knife’ll part your flesh, dude my mark is death
I’ll retort your body... till you fart your breath
God no
Fine bro I got your back, talking your spinal
bars you spit are wack, the sites like Ry NO!!!
This is an attempt... super basic though
You’re a son of a gun and i’m about cannons
Separate spirit from body till you're out standing
No
I know, i know, that’s a far reach, you bore ish
I’m to the letter and you’re Stark par, a poor Knick
No
You’re OK if it’s true things look better in slow-mo
and i’ll light up your top like pizza hut in logos
Its like you have some concepts in mind, but you just aren't developing them.

v/ Ryno... I guess... both really need to work on having the punches flow better and not be so forced and choppy

Them cartoonish antics’ll get u vanished. And trust me jack, I won’t care it hurts…
Not only am I bringing Max Steel, I’m leaving ya face covered in it like that Psycho character.
Let me embellish this cats doom. Frauds like u always flex like it’s mad cool,
Homie the only time u’ve had heat in ur palms, is using the hand dryer before u exit the bathroom.

vs

nothing much (compared to Ryno), some attempts here and there but need to be more elaborated


v. ryno

I could never rock or hit a spot w/ u. So fkn suspect how could ur style compel us?
If male clubs w/ the pole by his side, it’s cuz he’s got his dick swingin for a crowd of fellas.
cool opener
Them cartoonish antics’ll get u vanished. And trust me jack, I won’t care it hurts…
Not only am I bringing Max Steel, I’m leaving ya face covered in it like that Psycho character.
I think you could’ve improved on wording but I liked the concept
Let me embellish this cats doom. Frauds like u always flex like it’s mad cool,
Homie the only time u’ve had heat in ur palms, is using the hand dryer before u exit the bathroom.
I mean yeah it works but kinda corny lol. Decent tho
His women? Fables. U tap out w/ chicks cuz u never leave w/ a “winner” label,
Ur dates don’t just end w/ the cold shoulder. Bitches RKO u right through the dinner table.
dope lol
Everything u package is lame. But this Mac range clearin ya flaws, every ounce…
W/O a doubt. Let’s see if Male man enough to deliver once I bring the dawgs out the house.
I think the mailman play could’ve been done better but this was decent
Wux sent u to the wrong stop, screwed. Him killing Ry? It’s a long shot, true…
I’ll skin dude. Then leave Elephant bones on display like that scene from Ong Bak 2.
never seen this movie lol, couldn’t find anything when I google searched “the elephant display bones from ong bak 2 movie”


Vs


1st off the name is Mal, the E is silent clown
And I kick ish and bout to relieve your bowels
nah
My knife’ll part your flesh, dude my mark is death
I’ll retort your body... till you fart your breath
lmao nah
Fine bro I got your back, talking your spinal
bars you spit are wack, the sites like Ry NO!!!
gone. This wasn’t good
You’re a son of a gun and i’m about cannons
Separate spirit from body till you're out standing
had potential
I know, i know, that’s a far reach, you bore ish
I’m to the letter and you’re Stark par, a poor Knick
no
You’re OK if it’s true things look better in slow-mo
and i’ll light up your top like pizza hut in logos
nah


Literally baffles me how malediction can beat fresh in a 1-2 punch with a decent bar, then drop some lousy pre k rhymes here. Smh. Ryno had some dope lines and also some misses but did more than enough to take this one.


Vote Ryno

Ryno, Hand dryer & RKO were solid. Ong Bak had potential, but was wordy. The rest didnt do alot for me.

Malediction, Ry-No was funny. And the pizzahut line was serviceable, but the rest fell flat for me. This was still a big improvement fro. Your FL tourny verse.

I got Ryno edging this, but it was kind of close.

Vote - Ryno

Ryno Wins 7-0