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First Round Due: December 4th, 11:59PM Pacific Time
(so nobody has to rush a verse during Thanksgiving week)
You can either choose free topic, or I can pick a topic for you.
Agree in your check in post, please.
@Lenox @Baron Mynd
Your topic if you don't wanna pick your own:
Mental Health
Pick something.
I’ll follow your leadQuote:
Originally Posted by Baron Mynd
@Soule has selected “Mental Health”Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenox
Let me know if you want it changing to something else or whatever.
I’m down to go that route. HbuQuote:
Originally Posted by Baron Mynd
Have you ever killed a man?
I have.
The sense of power is immense
as your fingers wrap around while compressing down on his neck.
You hear the sound of each breath being drawn as the pulsing increases
during their last struggle for freedom before the suffering eases.
For some it’s immediate.
A welcome escape from the hell that they’ve faced.
For others the realisation they aren’t ready to face death comes too late.
I see it etched in their vacant expression as numbness arrives
and the pigment runs from their eyes until they’re only coloured surprised.
The throat muscles then tighten beneath my insufferable grip
its sudden constriction startles throbbing veins under the skin.
The bulge of each ridge provides a roadmap to the targets oesophagus
as my palm applies constant pressure and starves them of oxygen.
There’s a gargle of nondescript noise beginning to surface
and eyelids flicker determinedly before a final twitch then confirms it.
I did it.
I murdered the man that I used to be.
The past me refused to believe in himself or stand up to scrutiny.
It was only after the human beings physical form
slipped from this mortal coil that I could begin living at all.
I would sit in the corners of his mind endlessly fed
by the negative energy and self-doubt that entered his head.
It kept me sequestered in secrecy while I’d eat him alive
to feed off his primal fears, consuming him one piece at a time.
He would hear me inside his head.
An eerily quiet yet notable noise
until I had grown to the point that so did my voice.
I spoke with a poison that dripped from every word I could muster
turning his vulnerability into a means to further my hunger.
I grew more assertive the longer he chose to ignore me —
My words echoed through the haunting empty void loneliness brought him.
Until I broke the subordinates resolve and forced him to answer
as in order to manifest, I had to build rapport with my captor.
The ordeal had dampened his spirits which allowed me to thrive
growing louder inside as I hounded while driving him out of his mind.
The coward had tried convincing himself he could do it alone
I knew when the moment came he wouldn’t go through with it though.
So I used his emotional frailty to help leverage the lie
that ending his life would also bring about my eventual demise.
The deafening silence spoke volumes.
I had him convinced.
It didn’t matter to him whether he died so much as the fact that I did.
I uncharacteristically amped up the pitch that I spoke with
the sudden switch in my vocalisation giving him motive.
I quickened my tone in a further attempt to hasten more urgency
playing him perfectly as he was fooled by my false state of emergency.
I wait til the murders been confirmed before I surface again
in search of my next victim, yet I exist in every person you’ve met.
If you’re on the verge of depression, then for your own mental health
don’t simply dwell on the present — Go kill yourself.
Yours sincerely,
Depression
dude i thought this was dope. i saw you drop it on NC hope ya get some feed on it.
I thought this was an easy read and you grab the listener pretty much from the jump. The compressing down on his neck just takes you from 0-60 off the jump.
For others the realisation they aren’t ready to face death comes too late.
^^this line read funny to me
Until I broke the subordinates resolve and forced him to answer
as in order to manifest, I had to build rapport with my captor.
The ordeal had dampened his spirits which allowed me to thrive
growing louder inside as I hounded while driving him out of his mind
this was my favorite section.
the part about the pigments changing was fire as well. , thought it flowed very well also, rhyme scheme is enjoyable also makes the piece easier to read the imagery was off the charts, painted a legit pic here. and wrapping up the ending with the depression mental health kill youself i thought was a dope way to finish off.
Overall good read my dude