Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
My accomplishments make me a veteran on this site.
7x Open Mic Hall of Fame
2x Poetic Scriptures HOF
2x Rhetorical Insight POTW
Former Poetry Moderator
First TBFL Poetry Champion
2x TBFL Poetry Champion
3x Intricate Emotions Playoff Contendor
4x Sacred Scriptures Playoff Contendor
Been here since 2005.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Oh that's cool man. Btw, can you see my post...with my rhymes. Tell me what you think.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Dude, get a structure. Your writing's all over the place and unorganized lol.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
I don't understand...Is this supposed to be poetry, or rap? or what? I mean, if I'm rapping...It doesn't matter how I write it. Is it rap? this site is called rapbattles.com ...lol. I can do poetry, but that's not why I'm on this site. I'm here to show people what I can say in a rhyme as a rap...Whatever I want to say...With whatever meaning. Why would I need a structure? I would only need a structure in poetry...
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
No, your don't have a straight edge rhymescheme. So it fucks up the entire flow. That's what I'm fucking saying dude.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Ok, give me an example. I've studied rappers in my own time...They use rhymes wherever they can...Like Tupac - 'I see no changes, all I see is racist faces...Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races...We under, I wonder what it takes to make this...One better place, let's erase the wasted'...and Eminem - 'I’m like Houdini...Tuck my teeny-eeny-weeny between each...One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie...Make shit disappear like Tara Reid in a bikini...Believe me homie...You don’t know the meaning of a meanie'...and you're telling me some shit about straight edge rhymescheme? I'm new to this site, not to rap...I'm not a dumbass. Look at how famous these two got...What do you mean by straight edge...Yeah, show me an example? That guy you were talking to in this chatroom called 'Illin L' or something...He put rhymes at the end of everyline...Is that what you're influencing or teaching? Dude, rhymes don't have to be at the end of everyline...To make things better, you include rhymes in the middle of lines...As many as you can...Still keeping your implied meaning and all. That's how Pac made it...That's how Eminem made it. That's how anyone else can make it.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Your writing.....
I walked, talked and
called for God. With
my hand on a rock.
how you should be writing...
I walked, talked and called for God,
with my hand on a rock.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
you need to make it easier to read is all... even lyrics from the songs you're posting are usually organized in an easy to read manner when you look them up. like...
'I see no changes, all I see is racist faces...
Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races...
We under, I wonder what it takes to make this...
One better place, let's erase the wasted
^^even Tupac wrote with a rhymescheme... and so does Eminem.
'I’m like Houdini...Tuck my teeny-eeny-weeny between each...
One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie...
Make shit disappear like Tara Reid in a bikini...
Believe me homie...You don’t know the meaning of a meanie
^^see... this is a rap forum yes, but since you're not spitting it on a track and you're WRITING the raps.. you need to make it more pleasing to the eye and easier to read.
the best rappers from Biggie to Jay-Z use this method to lay out their raps and they don't even write on forums.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Yeah, I don't give a shit. I'm still getting my message across aren't I?...You can't just comment on how I write...Comment on my rhymes...Comment on what I should be saying in what I'm trying to say...Comment on which words would be better instead...Comment on my flow (flow = use of rhyme to carry on rapping about a specific subject). Let me tell you...I'm not gonna spit, how I write it to you. I'm just gonna spit these lyrics. That's all. When I say these lyrics...On a beat and people listen...They aren't gonna give two shits about how I wrote it...Because they can't see it.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
If you don't want to get better, then don't ask for other people's advice/criticism and stay the fuck out of a thread that's offering help.
NEXT!
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Ok, I understand now. Just the writing, I see. Well...I can work on that. But I can rap. Don't underestimate me coz' I can't write it out properly...Lol.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
Nobody's underestimating you. Just said to fix your structure. :hosea:
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
I don't want help in how I write it. I told you, lol. Now that Cry has told me, I fully understand. I don't need help on that, I can do it myself.
Re: Topical's Helping Hand.
I'm not offending you, well I hope not...I was only telling you from how I see it. I'll carry on writing lyrics on this thread, if you don't mind...?