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Thread: Edicius Ft. Maven - Whatever You Want

  1. #1
    beyond dope.
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    Edicius Ft. Maven - W.e u want.

    Maven

    the steel door remains cold against my paling skin,
    where to begin?
    to compare my life to God would be a sin,
    but everything it relative, that is, relating to myself
    sedating my own wealth,
    forcing you to buy my shelf
    as it sits there, lonely, containing the meaning of life
    but it's much to high for you to reach,
    or cut down with a knife
    your glance was sharp,
    but made me feel sensationally dull
    and the pull of the waves,
    relates to the strength of the hull,
    but the waves crash harder and harder,
    until the hull smashes,
    and flames leap from sad faces
    that dwell within the ashes....
    of my mind flame, my kinds the same as the homeless man,
    living without a plan,
    but needing to be guided by the hand
    and the pieces of my mind reach forward sometimes
    and you can see the pain and agony that make me smile
    with the glee that dwell in the space in which I cannot reach,
    but if you smash the hull enough,
    I just might give speach,
    to beseech you to reconsider the pain you put me through
    showing this kindness on me,
    what am I to do?


    I'm only human

    Yea aint we all.. damn .. we just made to rise, but fragile when it comes to fall..

    Edicius

    A corridor of boxed memories...but what do they teach?
    a sealed of section in my mind & a truth so far to reach
    & i try to hide the truth,..yet the truth is to deep in me
    I started at pole , but finished last in my own grand prix
    I got a roof above my head yea but mostly i feel so sad
    the migration is just to big, & i just feel small like a shad
    In this sea of colliding feelings, confusion is nothing new
    im just looking for that small gap for me to squeek trough
    An escape, a break out & no doubt that its kind off hard
    but its better than this shit hole,that im in from the start
    I saw no other ways..& all the exits just remained closed
    i opened my heart for real this time..
    But it resulted my heart into enclosed..
    I guess im just not made for changes & feelings that invade
    my sytem, cause it will respond to it like its being betrayed..

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  2. #2
    beyond dope.
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    Wtf..Up.

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  3. #3
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    I agree.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  4. #4
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    Maven.. thought you showed great imagery, combined with the wordplay, really built it up..... and i liked the way you finished it... what else can i say the schmeme n shit were tight....
    Ed.. again good wordplay, and felt this seemed deeper than mav's... but not as much imagery... a nice flow n scheme again...lol....
    ...but yeah overall ill collab.... deep and combined they had it done....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  5. #5
    beyond dope.
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    Lol.. thnx.. upper..

    why are you upping old pieces? noone else is allowed to...don't :P
    maven.
    Last edited by Maven.; March 17th, 2004 at 05:19 PM

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  6. #6
    Edicus great verse but I hated the use of 'truth' three time is two lines. I know you have a better vocab then that just by reading the rest.

  7. #7
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    ^up
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  8. #8
    this buds for you Thrust's Avatar
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    damn a very strong piece here
    the quality of this toical was very good
    emotion was strong thoughout both pieces
    both of you came really good here with a good conept to the piece
    a pretty nice read here.. i like maven's style also

  9. #9
    beyond dope.
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    Word, upper

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  10. #10
    xNY~NJx CAMROK's Avatar
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    this piece was very deep...
    both verses showed great imagery..
    good emotion was shown throughout the piece.. &
    I really enjoyed this read.. nice style as well
    overall. dope.
    PandorasBox



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  11. #11
    I'm Roman Catholic Lord Sarcasm's Avatar
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    You fuckerpoos..
    Our crews are going to battle and you collab..
    Idiots..lol..
    other than that..nice piece!
    I'm not going to sit here and ride your dicks (atleast not today)
    But yes..it was very bootyfull..
    WordPerfect

  12. #12
    I AINT BEEN HERE IN YEARS freshouttaafrica's Avatar
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    hoit mad hot

  13. #13
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    ^^^ this newb doesnt even read the stuff but anyway this was dope from both of you but i liked Edicus's verses better but Maven yours was still dope. keep good shit comein from both of you.

  14. #14
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    this was fuckin awesome..You both ripped this topic up and down...

    Beautiful vocab, imagery and Scheme..

    Nailed it.

  15. #15
    beyond dope.
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    WTF not allowed?.. it had 2 replies.. fuck not allowed.. its my/our piece, why cant i up it .. jezus, .. i wanted more feedback on my written work so? isnt that not what om is for .. to recieve feedback..

    UP.

    fine, I was just trying to be fair with the rules since I've told about 100 kids "stop upping old pieces". but meh, let us dance eddy! UP I SAY!
    Last edited by Maven.; March 18th, 2004 at 01:16 AM

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