Streets

[Swift Death]

Streets

Things aint the way they use to be here in the streets
this i know is true, the hate grows daily its not about the beats
the treats n sweets selling on the corner vermin looking for cash
the world I grew in turned to ash... well close white powder
sitting in a restauraunt observing a fight sipping my clam chowder
Got caught in this scene decided to do a line at a local club
the danger unseen now im hooked and ended up lowly scrub
walked out looked across the street made eye contanct
those evil eyes with there shiny gloss... made me react
I took off as fast as my legs could move me... not too fast
but considering the consequence , theyed prob be in a cast
The guy chasing me with a bat is my dealer i owe money
stole from his supply told on by some rat, thought it would be funny
like a bee defending his honey he came after me quick
ran to an alley way, wrong decision herd the bat drop and gun go click
Felt a sharp pain in my side... searing led penetrating my skin
i cired out the name of my bride, ponderd what my daughter would have been
what a sin to leave her on this earth with no one to provide, wither and die
my last images where my daughters birth, let out my despair with a sigh



will post links tommorow

[Swift Death]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156537
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=1851417

[Go Go Power Rangers]

hot ish foreal ^^^ im uppin myself on that one

[Wedge]

damnnnn hott shit kid.... damn thats deff a 9.5... shits real... wannna see more of this

[Go Go Power Rangers]

i kno shit was tyte

[Swift Death]

thanks guys.... up

[Swift Death]

up for feedback and constuctive critisisim

[Endeva.]

yea, a pretty decent read, it would have been better if a couple of the transitions were smoother, the first was nice, but it seemed to just stop and starta new rhyme the second time, i dont mind that if its all the same, but im not keep on things chopping and changing, i think it knocks the flow... but hey, what do i know... ...

ckeck my new drop out man, i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed da feed so read... stay good man, and if you cant use protection... lol

[Swift Death]

thanks man...

[djb]

aight twixn this was good. not great but good. i have read much better from you. i wish you would have went more into the story. or maybe more about how the guy used to be before his addiction. if you had made him out to be a better person in the beginning the end would have been much more powerful. you had good imagery and some pretty cool metaphors. like dev said some parts didn't have the best transitions but that was a very small part. overall this was good but not your best.

please return the favor

my open mic: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156701

[zeebee198]

wow, good imagery......some of it was a little choppy for my liking but overall man that was a pretty tight peice of writting

[The Godfather]

i thougt this was a sick piece of writing. i really liked it and i was feeling it.

[Prince Escobar]

I felt like this was hot, a good glimpse at things in the Streets from your perspective, for most cats its all guns and glory but u really put your spin on it. Keep up mayne, 1luv.

[Swift Death]

up.