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Thread: Drug Bath.

  1. November 25th, 2004, 12:21 PM #1
    nolonger
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    Drug Bath.

    Drug Bath



    The drawings complete, after many redrawing on sheet
    I have accomplished my image, of the drug world elite
    In for a treat, as I explain this bath through many sessions
    Take this journey of expressions of drug addict’s confessions
    .
    .
    Many possessions, including knife blades and life aids
    Symbolizing one touching on death, due to coke arcades
    And x raids, signing over your life to constant danger
    Adopting high as a father now that sobers a stranger
    It’s lame but for some odd reason we keep hurting ourselves
    Knives are added once agen as we revisit hell
    Each shot another knife, but we still attempt to breathe
    Each cup of blood resembles ah hour taken, before we should leave
    Trapped in a sleeve, my body represents how confined I am
    So claustrophobic and unsocial because of the lies I cram
    I examine my body, and pay extreme detail to marks
    Each bruise to the body reminds me of how we live in the dark
    I’ve come so far, but this part really brings the man in me
    Each piece of blood surrounding the bath, is tears shed by family
    And sadly, this illness snowballs as I start to set trends
    Blood only positioned on one side of the image, due to lost friends
    Struggle never ends, and as I progress with this addiction
    The knives are slowly trapping me in, until hardly any friction
    A painful crucifixion, my feelings are trapped I want to get out
    Now I have no one to talk to, and an amount of pressure to shout
    I need to get out, but I’ve come way to far to turn back
    Facing my conscience of, “I should have never turned on the tap”     .

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  2. November 25th, 2004, 12:37 PM #2
    nolonger
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...07#post1852807
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156538

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  3. November 25th, 2004, 02:31 PM #3
    nolonger
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    -Bounce-

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  4. November 26th, 2004, 12:37 PM #4
    nolonger
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    up.................

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  5. November 26th, 2004, 01:00 PM #5
    Jai-Cee
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    Firstly this shouldn't be slept on...

    A graphic peice - with the image included it was very explicit.

    You evidently have skills as a writter, this peice here demonstrates that.

    Nice use of vocab, but this could be elevated, because in some parts I thought you could probably elaborate on the meanings by using more descriptive vocabulary.

    Rhyme scheme and structure were good, you could have incorporated some multis to make it flow a little nicer, but overall it flowed well.

    Your story telling abilities are also decent. This was overall a good peice, and I enjoyed reading it.

    I certainly liked the idea of writting about the picture, and making the lyrics to relate to it. That was a good concept.

    Props..

    Peace
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  6. November 26th, 2004, 01:18 PM #6
    nolonger
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    dope reply..thanks man

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  7. November 26th, 2004, 03:27 PM #7
    Whitelightning
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    Explicit imagery. I liked the read. Good shit..hot vocabulary and all that jazz...I really enjoyed it.

    Keep it up.
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  8. November 26th, 2004, 03:55 PM #8
    Cinquix Incision
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    wow....that would hurt...someone should try that sometime...i'll give u a dollar
    "ya i see you nigguhs mean muggin on poarches, unload that clip and watch em scatter like roaches"
    ima foo wit it! girl gimme dat pussy i kno wut to do wit it!

    I AINT NO BITCH!
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  9. November 27th, 2004, 06:04 AM #9
    nolonger
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    what?

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  10. November 27th, 2004, 12:20 PM #10
    nolonger
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    .................................................. .....

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  11. November 27th, 2004, 12:20 PM #11
    Jai-Cee
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    Its a shame this is being on slept on effect... Some people eh...?
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  12. November 27th, 2004, 12:21 PM #12
    nolonger
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    you from rm?

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  13. November 27th, 2004, 12:29 PM #13
    Jai-Cee
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    No... Used to be on Rb about 2 years ago as ambient Light... So I ain't a noob, I'm a born again noob...
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  14. November 27th, 2004, 06:51 PM #14
    nolonger
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    ight coo.................bounce

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  15. November 28th, 2004, 04:55 PM #15
    nolonger
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    -bounce-

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