Nice drop man, i enjoyed your depth inside this....Which made me more interesting, i appreciate shit like this...Stay up man
Nice drop man, i enjoyed your depth inside this....Which made me more interesting, i appreciate shit like this...Stay up man
Ok thanks man,,
Uppp
Uppppppppp Y'all.
Ok, Id like some more feed on this piece... From the people who know what they are talking about..
do i know what i'm talkin about?i hope i do...
it's good that your practicing...i see you've concentrated more on the flow and rhymescheme.it's a good think cuz without them however good you're thoughts are,the piece won't be that good.you had good flow,but it got slowed down in those overstreached lines.you should've used some internal rhyming there,to give it a boost.
and try more internal rhyming and multis man,cuz trust me:it will sound a lot better.it would've been nicer if you would've continued rhyming like in your first 4 lines.overall nice man.we gotta do a collab sometime next week,cuz i never collabed with you fam...keep it up!
Def Poets Society
Thanks man, the first 2 bars are seperated in italics because of what they are, there a different flow from the rest of the piece and I was just showing thta I can do it.
Thanks for the feed man, can always count on you!
Uppppppppppppppppppp
Ill.
First off I want to say te changes that you made in your structure are really showing, and IMO makes your pieces even a better read. Now that thats out the way, back to your drop.
Ok, first off your intro...
Muttering broken language through swollen lips...
Ushering spoken anguish, beholding quips.
Hidden strength deep inside afraid to be shown...
Given depth where lies hide. Alone... never to be known.
^ that was nice. Good example of using imagery and vocab to capture the reader attention right off the bat. Solid in all the key element of a good piece. You went on from there to express some of your personal views (which I agree with) which is what I think writing is supposed to be all about. I was really feeling your last two lines....
You'll spend the rest of your live running, not even knowing what from or how.
It just takes one sound from one mouth to start you believing,
Its hard to see you recieving credit right now so demand it!
Show your hidden talent like you always planned it...
^totally agree with those statement. Overall I think this is one of the better pieces that I've read from you. Not sure what to tell you to work on cause I'm still trying to elevate myself, but hey keep doing what ur doing. Nice piece.
HNR, keep reppin fam.
Thanks a lot Na, I appreciate it man.
I drop feed on your piece soon man, I swear.
Riddle Here New To this site trying to see what is all this but holla
www.soundclick.com/riddle
Man, this isn't the place for that... Look around the site before you post again, good luck with the whole thing
a nice little piece with good multi's and vocab man. you had a great sense of rhythm and i dug the topic and the length of the piece. you held my interest and it felt like you spoke from the soul. good work fam.
keep posting.
H'n'R.
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thnks Johnny
Up
yo nice verse homie keep workin on it almost close to perfection aight i like those deep verses man good 8.5/10 good job man
P.S. i feel sorry for ur grandad man i feel yo pain man 1 homie
I never liked you but mannnnn,Originally Posted by AL CAPONE
I respect you a whole lot more because of what you said, i will now treat you with a lot more respect, than you man
this was very nice. i like pieces like this. i did feel it was very good at the start and then just good at the end. maybe i am tired but my interest started to fade towards the end. it was kinda a predictable read. everything was nicely put and your wording was done well. just kinda typical. after the first 6 lines i knew where it was heading and you didnt have anything that was incredibly different then other pieces similar. still a good piece but not great. good job.
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