Be Fed

[Swift Death]

There's plenty of food, just not enough thought.


i see grapes turn to vines.. as it sprials with thorns...
you wanted rap.... but all i got is poetry with horns
kid ill rip shit when i spit this... so hold on to yah seat
ill defeat the best and climb... so play that fucking beat
rhyme for me one time to set me off... and i won't stop
steal the show make you mc's drop conffesions, crop
make you relegiouse even though im athiest rape you bitch
leave no stiche other than on you're brain... trun strifes
so i dare you play the game, rol dice slit knifes...
ill watch with a chuckle and bear my scars, as i sit back
from afar, observe you getting you're marks... for a small sack
it's not about the weed or money or tracks, take out guns
feel the love that feeding on a repressed mind
hunger for none
be fed... souless and pure
for a brighter year.

[Swift Death]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207928
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=208250

[Xclusiv One]

This piece was so so, and btw it will get closed cause it aint 16 lines so I aint gonna worry bout to good of feedback..

the syle was allright but the gangsta shit is a lil lpayed, and the strucuture was ok but couls use a lil work too...

overall decent....

[sILLable]

ill....kinda short and kinda simple but kinda ill....i liked your rhyme scheme...it was somewhat complex but not alot...vocab was aiight....seemed like a "lyrical vent" if you will.but it def was ill....keep droppin tha hottness....could you reply to tha link in my sig that says...-Tha Jealousy that Envelops Me-

[Swift Death]

it is lyrical vent... no purpose... so yeah.

[Dan Dare]

This piece was so so, and btw it will get closed cause it aint 16 lines so I aint gonna worry bout to good of feedback..

Actually it is exactly 16 lines, if you count them.

[Swift Death]

meh didin't expect much feed for a weak verse.

[Hugh Jazz]

you pulled it together in the end and got your message across... thats good. the rest i wasnt feeling at all. i thought you couldve done way better with the vocab, multis and imagery... there was some emotion there but i couldnt relate to this verse. i thought it sounded very newbish and simple but maybe you structured it this way so it would go with the moreso gangster them you decided to use.. overall i thought this verse was ok, but i was expecting better from you twix. pz

[Proefficient]

watz gud ppl,im new 2dis website buh not 2freestylin,so if 1 of ya culd let me kno how 2vote and how 2git started on dis shit let me kno,

[Foreshadow]

The best lines were the poetry with horns.. But this piece was real weak and I didnt expect anything great when I read this piece because I read it in the GG forum.. Keep writing I know you can do better.