high...
i spit shit scriptic/
my whole style is devilishly depicted/
from the raise of the burners/
to the holes which they ripped with/
like some death metal shit/
i think im down with the sickness/
fully disturbed/
spittin semi automatic verbs/
nine millimeter words/
like kill you, grill you, and serve you like a steak/
so many false prophets/
how much can fade take?/
to partake in this game/
your style must elevate/
but right now im so high/
i think i might levitate....
You need to post two links, to two OMs you left decent feedback on, or this gets closed, thanks.
...
I wasnt really feeling this pice man, the structure of your bars wasnt long enough to really express yourself properly. Your vocab was decent but nothing stand out. The wordplay and flow was basic.
If you wanna improve your rhymes try and come up with a couple of song concepts and just write and write and write experiment with your vocabulary try and think of some crazy metaphors/punchlines and your verses will improve. Work on the syllable ryhming too, but i think you need to make your rhyme bars longer that should be your irst priority.
This is constructive critiscm so take it or leave it im trying to help improve your rhymes its up to you, i'll be looking out for your next piece.
Return the feed on my thread please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=210894
Closed.
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