Only A Word

[Nahlidge]

I layed there, holdin` her under the night sky
Whispered, I love you in her ear, she looked up and smiled
As a tear fell down her cheek, I felt her arms tighten
My heart fell down, weak, thinkin` things are so right, and
Wrong at the same time, can`t get caught in the same lie
Cuz if things don`t work out, I can`t bark up the same vine
Tree, plant, flowers. Yea, she loved it when I bought `em
Wasn`t the top of the world, but shit, we loved it at the bottom
With a bottle, of hope, wishin` it would stay like this
Amazed by this, feelin` of happiness, this day, I live
Not that I was dead yesterday, it`s hard to explain
Her name? Katrina, yet we never been caught in the rain
Only tears of happiness, joy and all the above
It`s got me in cuffs, tryna call it, but to me it`s love
She smiled, as I silently watched her fall into a light snore
Love`s only a word, she whispered.
But with you I wanna make it much more

[1up]

vocab was off the hook, and the flow was really straight.

Kind of felt a little short to be honest, but at the same time, you got your shit across. Good structure and progression. Like I said, the only thing I was really would have liked to see is more of the same.

good shit.

one.

vvvvv ps if you could drop a vote on this battle that needs closure, that would be straight vvvvv

[SkullBreaker]

yeah i was feelin it homey the only problem is that it was too short but keep it up aight man im looking forward to nore of ur drops

[Knightmare.]

vocab was nice, flow was nice too
it was short, but thats ok
good structure and rhyme scheme too

peep my drop "passion & fire"

[Nahlidge]

It`s short cuz I do 16? That`s the reg. length of a verse. Thanks for the feedback tho.

[Saul.Goode]

this was fresh fam.. very descriptive and full of imagery..you did a really dope job on shedding light on what love really feels like.

really feeling it nah, good work

[warchild]

This is a good poem i cant see it working as a rap but i dont think you wrote as a rap. The emotion stood out the most to me, im normally not a fan of the love/relationship type pieces but this was good it wasnt as corny as it could of been. A lot of these types of pieces are corny but you had a better perspective on the issue so i'll give you props for making me like a verse that i normally wouldnt like. Not a lot of Om's can do that.
Your vocab fit perfect to the piece, like i said emotion was nice and the imagery was descriptive enough to make the verse interesting.
The flow was basic apart from this bar:
'With a bottle of hope wishin it would STAY LIKE THIS'
'Amazed by this feeling of happiness this DAY I LIVE'

That couplet flowed well the rest of the bars lacked multies but like i said before i took this as a poem not a rap so i enjoyed reading it.
Return the feed on my Om:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240126

[Johnny 6-feet]

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics you've left decent feedback on or this will be closed. Read the thread at the top of Open Mic if you don't know how.

[Nique.]

i liked this..why don't you ever make things long? if you were to make things long..they'll be alot doper than now..this was short and sweet..can't say too much about it though = /..good imagery though family

[young hov]

hello 2 links you left feedback on

[Daz]

I liked this.
It was simple, but it was dope in its own way.
Imagery was on point.
vocab was on point.
And idk what warchild speaking of but i could see this being an ill ass audio.
Nique's right though, if u went longer it would be so much doper.
No faults though

pZ

[Nahlidge]

Word. Most of the 16`s I write I just do outta boredom. So that`s all I post lol. I`m workin` on a whole 3 verse topic tho. Should be done by next week.