Half-Life

[EyeBite]

HALF-LIFE

The Truth

I woke up and went to work and rode on the under ground train
I knew when i woke up today wasnt gonna be the same......
My brain had a feelin that today's experiment was gonna go bad
Trying to start a conversation with some one they seemed very mad
so i avoided the scientists and started lookin for a HEV suit
Eye-to-eye contact with a guard and he was ready to shoot
and he told me to go to the other door, which is the otha route
Sweat dripping down my head i was nervous about the Doc.
I tryed openin sum doors ,but jus about all of them had a lock
I was hoping that this experiment wouldn't go bad, i prayed to god
I stepped through the doors the minutes the guard opened it
I went into a room where the scientists were tryin to transmit
The Scientists seemed weird and i couldnt wait to leave
Entering the Experimental Labatory i rolled up my sleeves....
and got ready to go to work and put the specimen in testing
I put under the lazor beam and stepped back watin for requesting
All of a sudeen sumtin went wrong the spiment bagan to explode
I cant belive this shift that was only gonna be a little abode
I blacked out and everything was sparking and everything was silent
In my mind i said to myself why did this have to be so violent

ACTION

I crouched through the half open door and and looked around
There layed a Guard unconsience and a scentist helpin on the ground
I grabbed a medic kit and healed sum of my health and was ready
took a few steps and grabbed a crowbar for a weapon, already
The door ahead was locked so i cracked the glass wit the tool
I hurt my self on sum electricity i felt like a big fool..............
Around the corner aliens were attackin a guard so i hit it hard
I got a big thank you from the half injured and brave guard
He gave me ammo for a gun i found a while ago............
Looking around the room thinkin where i should go..........
I went up an elevator and went down a hall................
Started to hear a breakin noise and very loud call.....
I looked up the eleator shaft ahead it was ready to fall...
I was in fright it seemed that i was frozen or in the mode, stall
I had a freeky feelin that i wasnt gonna make it though after all


To be continued.......

[EyeBite]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248810
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248675

[Jacent.]

Decent story. Flow was hard to grasp. I suggest wording your lines a little bit better so that it flows more smooth. But yeah, I don't like that fact that you had it to be continued. I think if it was a little more detailed, the story itself would've been more effective. Just keep doing your thing playa

[EyeBite]

iight..yea i agee the flow was a bit hard to grasp..i'll keep workin at it.....thanks 4 da feed...uppin

[MainEvent249]

ayo this was pretty solid. agree with jacent on what he said and i thought you could've gotten more creative then starting almost every line with I. topic was weird too but good imagery with it and u got it across well for the most part. keep droppin