No bs, dr, crew votes.
10-30 lines
due by monday at 12:00 am
topics are:
Life and Death
Fallen Angels
Leap of Faith
Another number
Poetic Combat
No bs, dr, crew votes.
10-30 lines
due by monday at 12:00 am
topics are:
Life and Death
Fallen Angels
Leap of Faith
Another number
Poetic Combat
check and i gunna chose one outta these 3....... Poetic Combat,Leap of Faith,or Life and Death..........gl homie
check in....
both of us agree new due date is wensday due to the fact i got school...
Living in a place where it isnt safe.I sit here and contemplate,
Get my gun,create a mob,To live better we take this leap of faith.
Debating it isnt a choice,We have a voice but no ears attending.
Tired of pretending,After the deaths of many We start defending
Get plenty of comrades,Grab Protection so we start this revolution.
Clothed by rags,We need to live on this is the only possible soultion.
Were treated like dogs,like a negitive evolution,Held in this devotion.
Im hoping god is by my side,Running to the battle i show no emotions.
Tho holding many thoughts,Fights i fought this one dosent compare.
I stair at the sky looking for mom,Knowing she watching me up there.
She shared her love,Knowing to make it fair,The shit we been threw.
My comrade got caught in the attack,Try not to fall apart,I continue.
I threw a granade,Fighting for rights on sunday,Killed for demoracy.
The gorey seens of friends and enemys bodys,Trying to defeat provity.
Its has to be,Fight for us,rather be dead then living unacceptable.
Claim were uneducable,We desreve better even tho we not quintessential.
War and life has made us mental,Im hoping to mom and god that this works.
Stab in heart,While i die slowly im wordering is it for the best or the worst
56 years later
Haft a centry ago grandfarher and many defeated provity,for family and me.
They faught and belived,manys turned dust but they had still suceed.
They leave the furture told,Were living better now but at a heavy stake.
I take my grandfarters ashes to sea,Thank you for the leap of fate.
Leap of Faith
Reality isn’t concrete; it can be easily shattered like cold glass
As one see his life go by fast, he hopes it wont be as sad as the past
Those that have no faith just sit and wonder what life is
Holding on to a twisted wrist while blood drips from weakened fist
But I guess an end to hell is bliss… other live on the physical end looking for love
Amenities that are entirely worthless… I watch from above
I sit perched as they search futilely for answers while giving God confessions
Yet these answers only create more questions and unlearnable lessons
Others got it more figured out…swallowing one of God’s many religions
Except the truth is a veiled vision, a mirrored prism for those that make no decisions
But when I take my leap and I shake societies very foundation
All will have the realization that what’s new is really broken and ancient
Destroying racism, war, genocide , and the separations of nations
If I watch another person drown in a book or an expensive car I’ll burst
So I step off my high perch to come down to earth feet first
no votes yet so far? I guess I'll kick start this...
comrad did come with more lines, but he's talking about some crew drama. that's hella played and wack yizzo =/ work on your concepts.
other than that, spoken... ya came blahhh... you could really both use work on your topicals. I guess... if I was to really consider one's emotion over feeling. I'd have to go with Deity. sorry comrad. you know I only vote honestly, though I admit you did have more lines, they came with a lot of filler and less poetism.
Damn, both of you guys are my homies but really i have to say Spoken took this, Comrad woah man you came better than what i though, Spoken you didn't come really hard. But i like you'r vocabulary and you'r emotion was very good. Comrad you'rs was also good. I liked your emotion but you lacked imagery a little i wasn't feeling that much images in my head or i couldn't picture anything in my head we can say. Sorry but you came better than what i expected but you still lose this one by an inch =/
V/-Spoken Diety
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Owned.
Reality isn’t concrete; it can be easily shattered like cold glass
As one see his life go by fast, he hopes it wont be as sad as the past
Those that have no faith just sit and wonder what life is
Holding on to a twisted wrist while blood drips from weakened fist
vs
Debating it isnt a choice,We have a voice but no ears attending.
Tired of pretending,After the deaths of many We start defending
Get plenty of comrades,Grab Protection so we start this revolution.
Clothed by rags,We need to live on this is the only possible soultion.
Spoken - I enjoyed ur peice, it was very calm and the storyline projected in my mind prefectly. You supplied plenty of detail and vocab, which i understanded. some people may not understand ur concepts or the message ur trying to send out, but i understand it fully. i like how you worded everything, so theres nothing i can say bad about what you wrote, great job. PM me for a collab sometime.
Comrad - you're elevating man, and your style is unique, that will make you a lot different and doper than many topical heads further on. you also had good vocab, but the storyline was a little choppy from my views, and i think you could've worded ur lines a little better, imo. other than that, you did fine, some of it flowed smoothly, and i like those parts, thats why i put 4 of ur lines up here. ok job here, keep it up.
V/ - Spoken
thank you for feedback..much respect.......upp1
uppin 1 also. Thanks guys for laying down a vote...
uppin 2
gotta say i was feeelin com on this joint.. i felt rad put a bit mo effoert into his verse and had more complex rhymes,, and told a more in depth...both flows was good but i was feelin coms flow a bit more again.. coz it seemed to have plenty of forward movement.. spoken just dropped way too short aqnd wasnt really going anywhere as a sory
vote-comrad
pz1
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Spoken Diety had a good structure but comrad stayed on point betta and had betta vocab so my vote goes to Comrad.This was a good topical both of ya did good.
forgot about this battle upp2
Im going against the grain on this one.
Vote - Comrad...
I felt as if his story was more indepth because he portrayed more imagery. I've seen the topic been used before, maybe not the exact same topic but ya know. Anyways, Spoken urs was good also, but i just felt like urs could have been longer and if it would have been longer then u prolly would have pulled out the win. So therefore, my vote goes to comrad. No hate.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=267869
Honest Vote^^^
*i'll poll when u leave an honest vote*
pz
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