poems poems poems

[chuck taylor.]

done this on another site not to long ago, just thought i'd let you guys in on it.. holler.

Late night watching disaster porn

late night watching disaster porn
eyelids like beer guts
too restless to sleep
Too tired to think.
I should be writing.
the motorway mumbles
dirty talk of shift workers and drug missions

the BBC world service is reminding me I am lucky
with white skin
western pass port
across the globe there is ethnic cleansing/ jihads/suicide bombers
death and desperation

I’m waiting up for a news flash
civil war / assassination /even a plane crash would do
I slept though September 11th
awoke in a different reality
the psychopaths in charge no longer hiding
behind platitudes of peace and equality:
Survival of the richest

the apocalypse will be televised
family’s huddled together
watching countries disappear
popping out like warehouse Christmas lights.
Hoping our turn doesn’t come in the commercials

[chuck taylor.]

cmon peeps FEEDBACK.

[Britty D]

Well reading this was good. I like what you are talking about. Your expressing both sides of the plate. Well done. I like the message.......Good job
Hey if you wouldnt mind can you check mine out
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287921

[RhymeSwift]

illest shit........illest rip......top cuz.........thats all i gotta say...........top..............................p-e-a-c-e.......

[chuck taylor.]

thanks for your feed i will holler at ya shit soon.

[~SaDe~]

not too bad
i enjoyed this though
you had some real deal thoughts that you wrote out in this poem and you had good vocab in some ways the structure wasnt too abd but it couldve been better there's always room 4 elevation so step up on the writing you'll come even better with something else you may write

[chuck taylor.]

thanks for the feed ^
upping for some more yall

[~SaDe~]

this was okay'but i wasnt feeling the poem too much yamean
you got some shit you need to improve on for a better poem feel me? the vocab wanst all too good and the structure couldve been way... way better than that

[Egeria]

I think you used some nice metas for some very controversial topics, but the structure/flow was interrupted to the point that I couldn't really dig into what you were trying to say. Still, I enjoyed the imagery you created.