The Prophecy

[LyRiCaL sLaYeR]

Come one come all to witness the miracle
the sight is enough to leave you bewidered and hysterical
the prophecy as come to life fire has engulfed the world
the web of dark forces have at the seems have unfurled
arch angels have overwhelmed the army of darkness
they have set the ignorant free to live in eternal bliss


The war between good and evil for now has halted
flood gates broke open the fire the water quickly assaulted
as the flames disappeared it was replace by hope of a new start
the waters had undid the damage from the war to the earths heart
the sick will be healed, the blind will see again,sins have been forgiven
and it is back to hell satan and his dark empire have been driven


Come one come all to witness the miracle
the sight is enough to leave you bewidered and hysterical
the prophecy as come to life the pure of heart have ascended
the great lords plan for us all has been rewritten and amended
the angels of life have brought joy as they sing
the song of our lord and great king

[LyRiCaL sLaYeR]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...d.php?p=4367353
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288900

[The Vortex]

yuk too much colour dude,,,,,,wat u out to form a mo'fukken rainbow......lolz...


had good flow.. but seemed worded strangely so i couldnt fully understand certain lines...


still seems like u put some good emotion into this... mostly a str8 forward approach to writing not much complexity in between the lines. like say some internal rhymes and multies would boost the piece sum more.. as would some wordplay and mettas perhaps.......had its qualies and somewhat reads as a hymn. at the same time tho u crafted it in your own way there diddnt seem to be much original phrases or ideas . or any new prophecy ,, so seemed like u was repeating something u've read or heard... was pretty good writing still tho.. and had some good poetic details f'sho

keep writing yo

1

[xPunisheRx]

I agree colour was not needed, looks babyish get me

Flow was pretty sweet, first line proved that hands down
Allot of vocab was used what is good but to me its not needed
I mean this is a rap site an I seeing allot of cats using allot of
vocab that is not needed, get the point across and keep views
easy reading...as long as you write something sick people wont
care what vocab you are using in your speach

Keep at it though you have mad expectations from what you can produce

props and pz

[I Got Pwnd]

Str8,but the subject matter was a lil bland..and yes the color was gay to use..but your trying to be different..but overall..decent..just work on imagery..an make a more intresting read..like more detail instead of a bunched up vocab-ish type of drop..

but again decent drop.

[LyRiCaL sLaYeR]

aight thanks for the feed i will take all of it in to consideration for my next drop

[LyRiCaL sLaYeR]

uppin for more feedback