SS Week 1 verse; Engivale

[Engivale]

Mostly posting this because the other guy no-showed and I won by default and never got any feedback on this... I was pleased with it, so I am just gonna consider it another OM. Thanks for taking time to read.




"When West Meets East, the Rest Will Cease."



Buddha meets Jesus;
Who believes what the east teaches,
Gandhi pleads with these preachers,
...Who to each assign to besiege us...
You to me;
...Prestigious...
Who is free to act dutifully to treat trust,
If we just take the Dali Lama's advice he won't,
...Deceive us...
No meditation can change grades from C Plus,
...Reaches all of my subjects...
...No time for sublime's perfect rough sets...
Tough less...
...Ins, No such thing as depressions...
Just untrained minds with auditory rhymed impressions...


One thousand A.D.,
New sounds made through rounds of lazy,
True crowns, frowns Kings who erased the;
...Genetic strains of future thains,
...No concerns for their plain ancestry...
Could make me elect a man who expects three...
...Minutes to decide...
I intend this pompous apprentice to be pried,
...From his perch...
No damage, Rome to Atlantis,
...Flow is first...
I say what I need to to get across that;
Lost track of what history means when it's tossed back,
....Scholar, study, make it through as this loose era collapses...
Spare the thoughts or simply forgive lots of actions,
You could live for you or by who threatens what happens...


If Christians and Buddhists,
Could be in bliss and include us
...We'd pray together...
Instead of sayin' which letter excludes us,
...Matthew, Ruth, or the Gospel of John,
....Luke, Genesis, My apprentice is gone...
The apostle is fond of new testament's clues thrust,
...Into our Bible...
Stop thinking and start linking man to his tribal;
...Roots, ancestors bleeding,
What religion deserts us and which is worth keeping?
The polars meet ships,
...We got the chance of a solar eclipse...
To be Sober - Over the pits and under the sky...
Try bringin' the world together,
...Fail...
And keep wonderin' why...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311342
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311710

[Engivale]

^uppin.

[Engivale]

^uppin

[Spoken]

this was nice i felt the flow good mettas nice eordplay also..this was also a very deep topic....you wrote very well and stuck to it..great imagery..altho some words didnt ryme you made it look like it did..lol..good dhit tho..i think this was one of your bests well that i have read..keep at it tho

[XM]

Wow this was....different no where near bad at all, just different i've never seen a structure like this its intriguing, vocabulary was above average and the take you took on this was unexpected, didnt think you would do an religious outlook on this by the topic but it was well worded can't really find a rhyme scheme on this but it still flowed well i just paused at grammar signs homie this was a more then dope piece and i see why your in the SS League nice imagry n emotion overal dope piece keep it up homie im starting back at OMs and Topicals myself so check my piece out

[The Vortex]

now this feed is as good as yours and many given by chumps

1

[The Vortex]

you stupid shit heads love to freepost in peoples threads but i bet you dont like it yourself tho


lol

[The Vortex]

in fact cunt gont even look in my threads no more n imma stay the fuck away from your bollox coz i couldnt give a SHIT

[mc pyro.]

nice peice right here the flow was great and kept going no spots where it seemed to get choked up went right along the topic itself was good very deep and made you think questioning as well the wordplay just added stregnth (not sure if i spelled that right) to the topic and was well used throughout the peice the wordplay also allowed you to take the topic to greater depth without it i think it would have been simpler so the wordplay really helped the peice the structure was fine lines were a bit short but not by much not much to critisize so great job with this i enjoyed it
leave feed on my om in my sig

[P. Mortuus]

Yup a good piece..like i had said before i liked the flow of this piece and the way you took the topic was clever and interesting and as usual you droppped a substancial amount of knowledge to keep the reader attentive and interested. I liked the concepts used as though this had one main topic them which you had to write to you bought in many issues and put them in lines to allow the reader to be educated. Also, the vocabulary and imagery was good. Lastly, i reckon that it twas a shame passive didn't show as it i know you would have oreferred a "proper" win. Very good piece, G/L with the next match.

If possible, a few comments
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311797

[Engivale]

Thanks to all who left feedback, and a special thanks to Vortex for helping me up this piece to the top, I appreciate that.

I will be RTF on your pieces later tonight, I'm watching comedy central for a little while I just got off of work.