Jay D V.S Poeta demonio *poetry*

[Untitled Ent.]

Topics: Speak of the Devil
Count your Blessings
Ma Poubelle
The jester
March of the Dogs

pictures are allowed

Due in 1 hour from check...
Check due 10mins

[Poeta Demonio]

I added two rules lol check by the way............................................... .....................

[Untitled Ent.]

The Jester
by: Jay D.

http://images.epilogue.net/users/talisman/jester.jpg

Sitting in this dark corner, alone and
beloved. Cracking jokes and punch lines
that make no sense. Being ignored and
forgotten by the king and all the kings
men. It's like the story of humpty dumpy,
excluding the loyalty. My bells jingle and
I'm told to quite myself. The beautiful women
look at me as if I'm some deformed freak.
They say my sense of humor is disgusting,
but all I do is sit here. My hand bleeds from
shaking my small cane. And my mind grows
insane by each passing second. I am ignored,
I am beloved, but I am not dead. My eyes settle
on one sword more then the others. The kings
Excalibur, and I am ignorant enough to try and
snatch it. The handle scrapes my finger tips as
my hat lingers from my head. The kings loyal guard
shoves me back into my corner. "Foolish soul, know
your place as just The Jester."

Sitting in this dark corner, ignored and beloved.
Ignored, beloved, is this how I want to be known?
The night grows settle and the people rest them -
selves. My bleeding hand raises myself to a stance,
the stance of a jester, the stance of a killer. I walk
my way to the kings bedroom, my eyes glaze at his
sword hanging above his bed. I smile, the smile of a
murderer. Ready to gesture my way to becoming
king. I grab his sword, right before slicing off his thick
neck. He opens his eyes in fright, "oh, it's only The
Jester." And that was the end of the king

[Poeta Demonio]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1.../homeless2.jpg
Count your Blessings- Nothing is everything.

Golden chocolate bar wrappers graced
the pockets of torn garments, in which
holes were placed for hearts to fall into,
mansions made of cardboard city scape
were erected underneath bridges with
steal arms reaching for the broke mans
throat; nothing becomes everything in
the land of scraps, fighting for their next
breathe, under the supervision of
a world obsessed with luxurious life styles

fishing in denial, the cold shivers slice
through chests, tearing at heart beats
for the sake of finding a rhythm cheap
enough to afford, as their tears turn to
ice before taking a hold of the pale
white concrete floor; fighting off wild
dogs for the last mouthful of pity,
yet with brittle teeth, ready to fall out
at the first shudder, not much success
can become of grappling dogs for
their last slither of butter; spinal chords
twist into abstract formations, as lines
appear showing age as the only fashion
accessory; firm steps, spread out
as a stumbled dance across drunken
paths, sliding down icy white lies,
fed to them by parental figures that
send them out to beg for a crack
addiction, with a cracked bottle in a
brown paper bag, as a so called
company! sitting next to loneliness
in an attempt to hold onto nothing...
But our nothings, really are, their
Everything.

[Poeta Demonio]

It's up people.

[GrimmyReaps]

wow lex did alot better in this battle than i expected i came in here thinking he got embarresed...he did iight and stood his own...i really liked the picture and the topic bu i aint like ur structre and ending lines with and alot...it kinda threw off my flow when reading it...it was iight doe the emotion put in it was good and vocab was iight....ryan did good his pic and topic was also good and the outlook on the topic was good and original but what really won him the battle was how he put his peice together he worded it right and the mechanics was great...thats waht really won him the battle....

so for above reasons \/ poeta

PS poetry is weird but moving...lol

[Soule]

Jay D: Your emotion could have been a little stronger. Though I can still tell you tried. But you didn't get the emotional point done the way it should have been done. Your wording was really simple. But I have that same problem so haha, just work at it. Your crativty was nice. It was a original read. I felt that you need to work on finding out how you're going to use your wordings. Also watch out for the syllables. Limit them with every line.

Poeta: Your wording was jsut magnificent. It was chosen and placed very nicely. The emotion was heart warming and I feel as if you did a nice job on the creativty as well. You really took that picture and gave it a incredible poetic story. Keep Writing.

Vote: Poeta.

[Soule]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=345601 .

[[H]allelujah]

Jay D: Your emotion could have been a little stronger. Though I can still tell you tried. But you didn't get the emotional point done the way it should have been done. Your wording was really simple. But I have that same problem so haha, just work at it. Your crativty was nice. It was a original read. I felt that you need to work on finding out how you're going to use your wordings. Also watch out for the syllables. Limit them with every line.

Poeta: Your wording was jsut magnificent. It was chosen and placed very nicely. The emotion was heart warming and I feel as if you did a nice job on the creativty as well. You really took that picture and gave it a incredible poetic story. Keep Writing.

Vote: Poeta.

ROFL. You voted against yourself..wtf?

[Poeta Demonio]

Upping

[Messiah.]

Closed Poeta Wins.