first post, open for criticism

[bigH]

just stuff writen as i think it bare with, tell me what u think

first post im the host bitch get me some toast. just kidding lol

this is just a little taster, a sip out of the glass for the brittle haters
this goes out to all my fellow creators, keep spittin that fire
n if u run out of rhymes theres allways ghost writers for hire
but for now im here to quench youre desire, as i get higher
from this blunt smokin, tunes bangin kanye through the wire
now i understand youll be criticising, but it aint no reason to start downsizing
i aint here to be told i rhyme like a fool, go back to school, nah chill keep it cool
talkin about healthy criticism dont be mean, youre here to spread youre wisdom keep it clean
well i hope u feel this was adequit enough
forgive my spelling, i leave u this sample to discuss

[bigH]

no 1?

[mercenary1]

try putting it in open mic as well (apologizes if you already have)
basic tip for you, throw some multis in (internal rhyming) check out this guide
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=103324

[bigH]

multis is this it then?...

im regrettin, pressin the trigger of this smith n wesson
but im bettin, itl keep these niggas guessin if they steppin
get some skunk, role a fat blunt n get a fat munch
but if i smoke to much ill get a bunch to munch
but ull never catch me off guard, im always packin
always strappin a magnum incase shit happen
fuck scrappin so i keep a nine for backup
n it backs me up when im in the back seat pumped
with a pump action shotgun ii wont get jumped
this is lyrical madness, a lyrical assassin assassinating the masses
flawless tactics, one shot drop anybody that passes
this is just as bad as, nasty nas was
but since hes passed, ima be the one to pick the crown up
glock pops at the cops cos they ride by
dont stop to wave goodbye as we drive by
cos i rep my crew, with these 2 42's
but its ok to use power tools on fools just to be cruel
n just to be crued i aint never been bood
n if u boo me, better hope i aint in a bad mood.

is that using multis or is that tottaly different

[D4real]

those are multies.
but when rappin. try to keep away from mainstream ideas:
money cars girls drugs GUNS hint hint...especially if you don't have any of that.
pick a good topic and drop a written in Open Mic to get help with verses.(probably won't get any or much feedback anyways, but it's worth a try)

[mercenary1]

tell me bout it. open mic sucks, my shits been on there since fridayish and no propper feed, i've got 2 this is good keep it up, thats all. i want to make my first audio with it aswell

[yourboy]

keep checking out other styles and other battles and open mic pieces you will find out what people are looking for nowadays

[bigH]

this was a few months ago you can tell my style has changed since then