Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
Fuck good, let's go for classic!
classic luck then.
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
“February Song”
it's been a cold winter , love ……
glacial peaks across your brow, frowns form in the snow
eyes are white-washed icy tundra, high: forty below
rigamortis, the cold won't permit endorphins to show,
so extracting a smile feels just like that sword in the stone.
once your aura was rose, radiating warmer than most,
but fire that burned inside subsided, torches were soaked ..
fork in the road - you chose to let apologies smolder,
through all this, I tried to keep my solemn composure,
ignored it when the snow started to fall on my shoulders ..
cause it was hard to accept the fact that autumn was over.
honest, i'm sober .. but your screams are distant as ever
every breath mimics december and it's christmasy weather;
it was frigid, remember? we felt the breeze from atlantis -
you used to warn me every time the seasons would vanish,
when the sun warped the spectrum and leaked in it's axis,
syrup soft colors spread like finger-painted streaks on a canvas ..
then trees were abandoned, leaves enveloped in fear
so they hide, petrified before the end of the year.
dagger-like frostbite when you let me come near,
you've slowly grown too frozen to develop a tear.
now death has appeared .. expect a murder conviction,
i've sunk below the depths .. another hypothermia victim ……
{ ... be still, my freezing heart ... }
icy winds paralyze each one of my lungs,
ready now, to travel forth .. so comfortably numb,
plummet & plunge, the warming flames of hell await, perfect --
.. until a thin column of light shines & melts the lake's surface.
as solid objects thawed, dawn was calling me back;
pangaea land separation as water started to crack.
watched as lush greens resurrected from their wintery tomb
nature sang sweet melodies while symphonies bloomed
flickering hues, distorted shades, blood courses in veins
heaven's flood gates ajar, and gently pouring it's rains
fuck fortune & fame .. i need my blanketed lover
with an angel's sacred ring of sainted safety above her,
laid in the covers .. this winter's chill was abrasive --
documented pain of our division could fill millions of pages,
are you ready to melt,
like water that now spills in the basins?
discard our heart's snowy face, embracing spring to replace it?
her most critical statement:
“I care not of flowers' bloom, or fading frost in the river -
when I'm with you, I'm always wandering .. lost in a blizzard.”
.. so while that bittersweet sunlight continued to shine,
I crawled inside my own mind's private igloo & died.
made it a gravesite, defiant symbol of pride
only way to leave the frigid winds of winter behind.
February brought spring, summer, then autumn begun ..
Yet a lover's cold shoulder never thaws in the sun.
- Black
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
Cleaning Up the Dirt
By: Cry
My desire is long gone -- I refute the past errands
I've simply lost the will, like a dispute with grandparents
I've diffused this black terrace.. but it can't be what I live for
rap and work... they've made me happy, but I'm piss poor...
...Piss
...Fucking
...Poor
Peace is a myth, it's a weak love story distinguished with mitts
one about people who quit -- because it stings when it hits
and they can't turn to God... religion's beaten to bits
Jesus came for a second run, now he speaks with a lisp
and the one they call "Peace" is extinct in a ditch
in a chair next to "Love" with diseases and shit
bleeding in spit.. deep in the pit with their clothing stained
about a thousand miles down in an ocean cave....
no open ways, guarded by well trained soldiers with lotus blades
'cause the act of reaching peace is by approaching pain
holding weight, with no tactics as it smashes you down
just when you feel at ease... it has to ask that you frown...
exacting your doubt, without pinpointing the needle
because peace is a double agent that's exploiting the people
their breath poison to equals -- no gas masks either...
'cause the people who want peace simply lack that ether
war packs bad fever, gets you sick when you're over
who knew the combination's a worthless mixture to go for?
They're just shiftin' a snowstorm, the bombs bursted in air
meaning this "national anthem" is NOT worth the affairs
my trials & tribulations are flaws working in pairs
so how do I get money when hard working's impaired??
heart's burning and there's... no way to use it properly
no finding better bliss than any drink or booze've got for me
peace is true hipocrisy, it's what we want to believe
it's a really weak idea that death too often relieves
and stopping to think... I think we need a change
need to blink and rearrange, be released and see a way
out.. but instead we breakdown, fight for the wrong cause
to backpack entire houses on a ride for the long haul....
My desire is long gone -- I refute the past errands
I've simply lost the will, like a dispute with grandparents
I've diffused this black terrace.. but it can't be what I live for
rap and work... they make me happy, but I'm piss poor...
so I insist more, keep bleeding love and work...
but won't spend an entire lifetime cleaning up the dirt.
http://i46.tinypic.com/2rhqx4p.png
Every breath, each step
they speak depths without burrows...
in this war for peace.
Last edited by Cody Nash; February 24th, 2010 at 04:40 AM
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
blacketh - i love you. the flow was great, although i didnt like the word choice "fuck fortune n fame" or whatever it was exactly.. seemed awkward and uncalled for. otherwise, the flow was superb and the rest of the word choice was superb. the way you keep taking from the same set of conceptual imagery, ie, flood glates/basin/rains/pours.. and the glaciers/ice.. as well as the warm spring, seasons, melting, ect. and i feel like the hypothermia was a metaphor for heartbreak, not an actual event, because you didnt really describe any specific events otherwise.. great shit. i thoroughly enjoyed this
but
you used to warn me every time the seasons would vanish,
when the sun warped the spectrum and leaked in it's axis,
syrup soft colors spread like finger-painted streaks on a canvas ..
that flowed really awkwardly to me, vanish/axis/canvas.. meh.. foced rhymes, seasons/leaked/streaks rhyme fine, so the flow wasnt completely bad, but compared to the rest of your piece which was fucking stupendous, this shit could use a touch up... the last line was also stretched. wouldve deleted syrup imo.
cry - lol@ the will line clever shit. the opening was dope i think, although the way you said 'shit' in your 1st stanza took away the poetic feel a bit. but the lotus blades, oceaninc caves, ect the description of the metaphors was dope as hell.. the images were great, and its setting up the piece (im typing this as i read lol) anyways... second stanza was dope too.. but i thought saying "really weak' was a cop out tbh, i feel it took a bit away from the complexity and emotion with simple language
I think we need a change
need to blink and rearrange, be released and see a way
out.. GAH the flow there just shifted a bit... change and rearrange equals one syllable rhyming, and see a way out, the flow didnt really pause at see a way STOP out.. it just kept going im quoting this because i HAVE to nitpick because both pieces were fuckin crazy.. anyways, solid shit, i relaly enjoyed the concept behind it too, original take, exspecially this week with a hundred fuckin rhymes about suicide.. gah this is fucking hard.. i liked your emotion, with piss... FUCKING.. POOR.. but i mean blacketh also had a few little nonrhyming quotes that had similar effects
great fucking battle, actually.. how has nobody voted on this? are they scared?
ugh... cry, the part i quoted on yours was more f*ed up than blacks flow-wise.. not to be harsh lol it wasnt AWFUL, but yours stood out more, while blacks really was nitpicking the fuck out of it.. so blacks flow was better.. check.. i would say cry had a fresher concept.. because unrequited love has been a topic of choice forever.. but black had such a fresh take on it the way he connected the imagery of the seasons.. goddamn it..cry i loved the will line, and the imagery of the first stanza, but black;'s connective imagery, i just really thought that was nice.. so
v/ black
ps. this battle better get every fucking head in the league voting on it. cry could EASILY win this. black won by a pubic hair's pubic hear..
better than the noodle/black battle, maybe
peace, stay up
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*apologize in advance for quick vote, i have some personal project to handle*
Blacketh
As usual, you came storming with strong imageries and some of the most natural wording. I always think those are much more effective than those abstract, big word, piece. aside from that tidbit of info, i liked this piece. i liked what you were aiming for. the winter metaphor was strong concept. the only problem i see with this, that seperates it from your other piece in the past is that there was really no point to this verse. mechanically dope, but...there was a lack of substance.
Cry
some hiccups in the flow dept...either that or i'm just not reading it right. other than that, i was really into this. a pretty cool argument against "peace" or the conventional belief of it. i read this piece 3 times...which is what i usually do and each time i read this, i find myself liking it more and more.
like the cat above stated, this is a VERY close battle, but i'm gonna give this one to CRY. as far as technical, i think black took this but, as usual, as he always seem to out write his opponent in that dept, but i'm one who support adventurous piece and it doesn't get more adventurous than a cynical examination on our concept of 'peace'. in other word, he was simply more interesting.
Vote - Cry
[youtube]DmSREFKsZ7Y[/youtube]
I am completely impressed with both of you. This battle lived up to the potential every champ match should. You both dropped fresh pieces, I enjoyed them both a lot.
Blacketh, your writing style in this piece was so fluid and precise that the words flowed together perfectly. It is apparent that you have a high level of command over the language you choose to utilize, your vocabulary/word-choice was nothing short of superb. You've got some undeniable talent, I haven't really had the chance to read many of your pieces, this one was a good one to start with, because it really reflected how capable you are as a writer. Your content, albeit somewhat generic, was delivered masterfully. You took a general topic that many have written on, and crafted it with fresh dynamics. The "cold shoulder" metaphor that tied this piece together worked really well. Everyone of your lines was nice, there was one that especially stood out that I really thought was dope:
".. so while that bittersweet sunlight continued to shine,
I crawled inside my own mind's private igloo & died."
Cry, you wrote super well yourself here. I can definitely appreciate what Northern described as the "adventurous" approach you took on this topic. It made your piece your unique, and it was truly a dope read. After complimenting Black so much I want to be sure not to discredit you as a writer in any way. I have read a number of your pieces and you have always displayed a high level of skill in your writing, this piece was no different. The flow was on point for the most part, the piece was fresh, and you wrecked the topic. I don't have a single negative thing to say about your piece, I really liked it homie. There was one line that I really could appreciate:
"and they can't turn to God... religion's beaten to bits
Jesus came for a second run, now he speaks with a lisp"
So now it comes time to make a decision on who I think the winner is. In a situation like this, where you both dropped incredibly hot pieces, it feels wrong to pick one over the other. At the same time, that's what we are here for, to compete, so I have to make a choice. On a technical level I felt that Black's piece was superior. His flow, his vocab, and his delivery was just insanely hot. Cry shined as well in each of these categories but Black's was damn near perfect in that regard. In terms of content and topic approach I thought that Cry did a better job at tackling a unique concept. At the same time though, Black took a somewhat cliched topic and just flipped it on its head, making it a completely fresh piece. Don't get me wrong here, you guys both did extremely well. I enjoyed reading both pieces, and you both are really talented writers. Needless to say this battle was super close, I think Blacketh pulled it off by a hair though.. Good job guys, keep up the good work.
V/ Blacketh
follow me on Instagram @updowndaps
black-this was dope through and through..i personally felt this was just immaculate...every piece flowed so smoothly..i liked your concept..i thought your imagery was visually stimulating..even with out a pic of any sort...i loved how descriptive you were.your vocab is always on point...everything just meshes together well..i personally didnt find anything about your piece i didnt like..everytime i read your pieces they wow me and this was no exception..loved it for sure.keep droppin dope.
cry-your piece i also thought was just spectacular..i think it flowed really well al the way through..you had a nice concept....i loved this part a lot.you had some nice metas..your concept was really nice..i think that technical aspects like rhyme scheme was just immaculate form you both.you both came with your A game and it showed..i always hope one person will suck a lot so the voting is easier..but in cases like this its not easy..especially when you could both take the win easily..i have to vote based on personal preference..i really liked both..and i was almost tempted to not vote on this at all so i wouldnt have to choose..i liked both but im sorry cry i was feelin blacks a lot...no hate.Originally Posted by Cry
vote-blacketh
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black-everyone has said eveything that needs to be said about your piece...a dope piece with no flaws...for some reason when i read your pieces in my subconscience all i think of is technology, medicine and the future, you remind me of how i used to write back in the days but i thought i was becoming too repetitive, i hope that doesn't happen to you
cry-i got annoyed in the begining with your piece because it was repetitive, all you went on about was 'peace', yes i know your peice is about peace but that phrase just annoyed me when u mentioned it...other than that your piece unraveled very nicely...your meta's were AMAZING...another dope verse
this is a tough choice, but im gonna vote for black, i liked his verse more than crys' even though both verses had no flaws mechanically
v/black
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Originally Posted by Brandon Heat
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Meta.Convicts
lolfor some reason when i read your pieces in my subconscience all i think of is technology, medicine and the future
pill poppin animal ..
I'm here to break my own ball and chain..
finally, some motivation for me to write for real. this battle is flames. be back to vote tonight.
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
^ I meant every word of that - and as promised, here is my vote...
Blacketh and Cry, you guys are two of the leagues top battlers and this match is exactly why. The votes sway the other voters, perhaps, but in the end...this battle was so fucking close that I almost decided not to vote to be completely honest. There's so much more than meets the eye with a match like this, just the preparation from both sides, the anticipation from the voters and then the anxiety of just voting - it's a fucking chore to say the least. When it comes to a battle where two heavyweights clash like this and it's this close...there's not too much to be negatively said. I won't go as far as saying they are flawless because hardly any work ever is, but there's so little flaw in both of these drops that I HAVE TO nitpick. When it comes to Blacketh's piece - the first thing I've noticed is that he's really working to impress me, nah just kidding, but the flow is really strong here and that's something you always have had with your work that I've enjoyed. Unlike the last few pieces I've read from you, you really nailed the concept as well and what I loved most was that it connected to a topic that was hard to work with and still made it very relevant, it's the creative mind that you bring to your pieces that really intrigues me about you. Imagery and all the other mechanical elements are strong for you this week as well, keep up writing like this, I really enjoyed this piece man. Now, I'm looking down at Cry's and I honestly started out with a sort've "bleh" feeling, which I usually never feel with his work, but I thought the first 4 lines were a bit dry and unnecessary for the rest of it, but that's just my opinion because otherwise, this shit was fucking close. Like Blacketh did, Cry brought flow and all of the extra shit with his work and a creative concept, but the execution on his part was slightly weaker than Blacketh's and that's the only difference I can find in the match. I consider this among one of the best battles I've ever read and I can't wait to battle either one of you guys this season. I've got Blacketh taking this win here, but minus the Noodle/Blacketh match, this is the best shit of the season. Good work gentleman and Cry.
v/Blacketh
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
Blacketh (8-0)
Cry loses (5-3)
CLOSED
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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