Spiritual Transformation- Kanvas & Spitfull Collab

[Jukon]

Hope you all enjoy this has been in the making for a while, just now had time to fully write the verse out.

Spitfull
Leaks Of Blood run the wall , who matches the identity ?
Knife sharpness player , A sword is there entity.
Skin turns to bone which makes people run off n scream
Its their nightmare nothing ever seen in a dream
End it feelin demonized ; chains dont hold me down
I start it feelin hypnotized ;demons ruling all the ground.
I was clueless , thats the definition of that emotion .
A stinging pain shocked my mind , then i twist in a 300n60degree motion.
Theres scars on my body so i sign im a survivour
But A tingle up my back makes death feel slightly closer.
The lifeline has shortend like every easter , christmas , birthday.
Who knows what day will be declared there conclusion
I just wanna end this struggle , a death to an illusion.
Im forced to continue its the birth of a chapter
Fear the stuff as if it was full of dark matter.
Cant view the killing so drink till ya arms fall off
By then it would feel like the ceilings blown off
Back at the blood, its running down the walls
I dont walk my body decides to crawl
I look at my hands while my fingers grow claws
Ive takin a spiritual transform
My human look has just been torn..

Kanvas
Tortured, fucked, and ripped to bloody shreds
Out of body experience, momentum tearin' the threads
that connect tissue to tendon, keep me grippin' for my Jesus pieces,
Pleading at a priceless value but don't even know what the least is.
Redundant words finding ways to escape from my chapped, bloody lips
Spit dripping down my jaw, my hands clenched into the tightest of fists
Spirtual transformation and I didn't sign up for this kind of change,
Twist my spine and my fears are trapped in tunnel vision, thoughts deranged.
I sold my soul to the devil a while back, just to get a lifetime contract
Classis verses always spilling out from my brain, soon- historical artifacts
Blurred at the edges, but still stand out like I've been gravely embossed
Out of order but God tellin' me it's never too late to simply re-stock
But I load up the piece and get ready to light the entire neighborhood up
Put it to my head but instead of fire, I trigger fuck the side and try out my luck..
NO! This ain't heaven, this ain't hell, this is just a distorted image of the life I thought I left
Stuck in the past forever, dealing with the memories that gave me nightmares-
and begged for death.
And after every tear that I shed, and after every addiction I fed,
here I stand with the gun in my hand and my soul in the other, waiting to be condemned..

Link 1
Link 2

[LicketySplit96]

Great drop man, definitely feelin this one. the only thing i gotta say negatively is that maybe 2 or 3 times there were some, i guess you'd call em "simple" rhymes but they were still backed up with good shit before the rhyming word. Keep droppin imma look out for your shit, this was good.

And if you geta chance check out my new drop over here - http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...208/index.html

Keep it tight,
The Infamous..

[JLoCo]

yo this was pretty cool. i do think that some rhymes were less than equivalent to the setups but all in all this was nice. was diggin the imagery especially in kanvas verse. spitful had some thoughtfull shit as well no doubt. keep doin yo thang. I wouldve liked to see the lines more consistantly structured with regards to syllable length from one verse to the other. but as I said I liked it.

rtf

~Writer's Block~

[KProp]

you know I fucking love this, both of you boys. Kanvas your shit was dope, & Spitful your shit was poppin.

[Jukon]

Haha babe you slackin. ^^

Thanks for all the feed already, appreciate. Me and spitfull worked hard on this so any feed dropped is appreciated.

[Jukon]

Up-

[Mr.Schizzy]

This piece is kinda hard to decide what I like and dislike about
it, Well one thing Spitfull verse didn't seem as stretch as Kanvas,
I like some of the thing that Kanvas was talking about, But I didn't see
that many internal or multi's in your verse, The title was pretty tight
I think it could done better if verse were more the same length and
more crazy description about the process of life and having
a spiritual transformation, Idk I just would of like a deeper picture
Anyways I would give piece a 6.5 out of 10 keep writing

[Jukon]

Good looks fam ^^^

Up

[sir headless]

Shit goes hard, would love it if there was an audio version of this !
Please do it would be even better i think

[Quality.]

This was an easy read, detailed enough also. I love the fulmination headed train thrill, that exceeds most expectation. Great = 7.5

[Jukon]

Thanks for the feed everyone...audio might be possible here in a couple weeks.


Last up

[Cinizter]

Cant view the killing so drink till ya arms fall off
By then it would feel like the ceilings blown off
Back at the blood, its running down the walls
I dont walk my body decides to crawl
I look at my hands while my fingers grow claws
Ive takin a spiritual transform
My human look has just been torn..

Spitfull- I liked these lines alot and I think you used good imagery to start this type of piece off....kinda horrorcore rap. I dug it. I could imagine the part where your character is growing claws but I think its kind of a reach to try and tie thta in with a spiritual transformation....that concept seemed a little forced. overall good verse though.

Blurred at the edges, but still stand out like I've been gravely embossed
Out of order but God tellin' me it's never too late to simply re-stock
But I load up the piece and get ready to light the entire neighborhood up
Put it to my head but instead of fire, I trigger fuck the side and try out my luck..
NO! This ain't heaven, this ain't hell, this is just a distorted image of the life I thought I left
Stuck in the past forever, dealing with the memories that gave me nightmares-
and begged for death.

Kanvas- It was cool to see an open mic from you, so far I've only read your stuff in p.s. Your rhyme was good and like Spitfulls had alot of good horrorcore type imagery. I think the russian roulette kind of theme is a little played but still dug your verse. Liked how your character went ot a type of purgatory. nice collab and nice individual verses from you both, you have writing styles that mesh well.

[Jukon]

Thanks cinizter for the honest, good feed. Appreciate that

[Jukon]

Uppin