LLL SEASON 13
Only check ins and verses are to be posted in your battle, do not post anything else.
verses due thursday 11:59 est
Regular Season - Semi Finals:
Minimum Lines = 10 Lines
Maximum Lines = 20 Lines
LLL SEASON 13
Only check ins and verses are to be posted in your battle, do not post anything else.
verses due thursday 11:59 est
Regular Season - Semi Finals:
Minimum Lines = 10 Lines
Maximum Lines = 20 Lines
Last edited by Wise Ways; September 26th, 2010 at 06:14 PM
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WhatThatLookLike..?!
Last edited by Malice; September 27th, 2010 at 06:11 AM
"Ready? go! sat where the old cardboard city folk
swap tales with heads like every other penny throw"
ok Mr. Wizzle, they say being a retard is like being trapped in prison
so when RB check the intellect, they can clearly see that Wiz-Dumb
Double Dubs cant go the distance, his endurance is weak and finite
just like his ATM withdrawals, wise's worth has reached its limit
he a novice in the field, he never seen the likes of battle scars
his style more like a paraplegic bikin, just aint the type to Handle Bars
he a little bitch, the runt in the mix - he stayed puny and worthless
only time he 'pick of the litter', is court mandated community service
wise ways is over-rated, im quite sure GOW has made a mistake
unless he meant your body odor when he said you had that Power Rank
and honestly, if theirs an opinion to be had, wise is bound to show up
only time he should be talkin in threads, is through em....
.................................................. ............when his mouth is sewn shut
"Ready? go! sat where the old cardboard city folk
swap tales with heads like every other penny throw"
cool story bro.
.
.
u're the opposite of fresh, nuthin' this herb say intelligent
so i'll put 97 tips in ya head.. like whoever told u that wordplay is relevant
i flawless'd h.t. in our 'contender bout' like i'm suppose to do
but ironically, you lost in yours & we're ranked HIGHER then both of you
this fruit's a fraud, trys so hard to hide his faggot lover image
M does lollygag tho, when i drop kick his mouth while he has a sucker in it
u ain't ready for this & no one's EVER seen a girl in Mal's place
Pops use to keep him on his toes however, with a tutu - doin' twirls in ballet
this kid's an insomniac, losin' sleep thinkin' he HAS to beat me
it's obvious u don't get Skillful Dreams, cuz even that dude'd smash u easy
took ya dignity in the FL & 1-2 punch, guess u ain't dope n real
so if 3rd time's ur charm, i'ma have to snatch that 2 BITCH, u know the deal
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WhatThatLookLike..?!
Malice
ok Mr. Wizzle, they say being a retard is like being trapped in prison
so when RB check the intellect, they can clearly see that Wiz-Dumb
okay
Double Dubs cant go the distance, his endurance is weak and finite
just like his ATM withdrawals, wise's worth has reached its limit
k
he a novice in the field, he never seen the likes of battle scars
his style more like a paraplegic bikin, just aint the type to Handle Bars
lol
he a little bitch, the runt in the mix - he stayed puny and worthless
only time he 'pick of the litter', is court mandated community service
nice concept
wise ways is over-rated, im quite sure GOW has made a mistake
unless he meant your body odor when he said you had that Power Rank
decent concept, ok punch
and honestly, if theirs an opinion to be had, wise is bound to show up
only time he should be talkin in threads, is through em....
.................................................. ............when his mouth is sewn shut nice closer
VS.
Wise Ways
cool story bro.
.
.
u're the opposite of fresh, nuthin' this herb say intelligent
so i'll put 97 tips in ya head.. like whoever told u that wordplay is relevant
k
i flawless'd h.t. in our 'contender bout' like i'm suppose to do
but ironically, you lost in yours & we're ranked HIGHER then both of you
okay
this fruit's a fraud, trys so hard to hide his faggot lover image
M does lollygag tho, when i drop kick his mouth while he has a sucker in it
nice
u ain't ready for this & no one's EVER seen a girl in Mal's place
Pops use to keep him on his toes however, with a tutu - doin' twirls in ballet
okay
this kid's an insomniac, losin' sleep thinkin' he HAS to beat me
it's obvious u don't get Skillful Dreams, cuz even that dude'd smash u easy
haha
took ya dignity in the FL & 1-2 punch, guess u ain't dope n real
so if 3rd time's ur charm, i'ma have to snatch that 2 BITCH, u know the deal
cool
*THis battle was damn close...but i think these was best punch...
he a novice in the field, he never seen the likes of battle scars
his style more like a paraplegic bikin, just aint the type to Handle Bars
lol
vs.
this fruit's a fraud, trys so hard to hide his faggot lover image
M does lollygag tho, when i drop kick his mouth while he has a sucker in it
nice
* I go with Malice...I think his bar had more creativity and came off smoother
V/Malice
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he a novice in the field, he never seen the likes of battle scars
his style more like a paraplegic bikin, just aint the type to Handle Bars
he a little bitch, the runt in the mix - he stayed puny and worthless
only time he 'pick of the litter', is court mandated community service
and honestly, if theirs an opinion to be had, wise is bound to show up
only time he should be talkin in threads, is through em....
.................................................. ............when his mouth is sewn shut
vs.
u're the opposite of fresh, nuthin' this herb say intelligent
so i'll put 97 tips in ya head.. like whoever told u that wordplay is relevant
took ya dignity in the FL & 1-2 punch, guess u ain't dope n real
so if 3rd time's ur charm, i'ma have to snatch that 2 BITCH, u know the deal
^ this was actually kinda funny to me..
aight. i was expectin more from wise.. it felt like he just didnt have the effective sting he could've had in alot of his concepts. the opener was nice as fuck.. so after i read that i was expecting it to be followed with some dope shit.. but the ranked higher then both of u line wasnt too harsh.. i think it could of been executed to maybe hit stronger, but i just didnt feel like it ripped his image or rep like a personal should. the lollygag was a stretch, i felt like the flip on the concept like 'dropkick while u eating a sucker' is irrelevant. the 'keep ya on ya toes' concept could've really been worded to hit hard tho.. that was a decent concept, but it just wasnt worded direct enough to hit with the effectiveness it could've.
the skillful dreams punch was a lil off because the words skillfull dreams arent commonly said at all really. so when u put that in there, it allows the reader to predict the ending to that punch before they even read it and it takes alot away from the impact.
the closer was simple, and it might not be somethin alot of other people quote, but i felt like it connected with humor. i felt like it was one of the couple times u did great tranferring an emotion to the reader through the wording of ur punches. the first one had me feelin like 'damn, thats pretty fuckin witty', and the closer came off as really comical to me. those were the standout points of ur verse.
malice, ur opening punch, which was the wizdumb flip, was just too simple. a punch like that comes off as corny rather than harsh.. and u gotta think about that before u put a punch like that in ur verse.. u gotta ask yaself if the concept is even capable of being harsh or funny. and you should base your decision on what u know the voters like.. because u've prolly had ur battles voted on enough to the point where u know what ur doin that they aint feelin n' what ur doin that they are feelin when cats quote them. unless u just take it all in as a conspiracy or hate against what u think is a 'perfect verse', then u'll never learn how to get better to begin with.
the second punch struggled in the wording.. and again the concept wasnt built to have that kind've impact that u want. when u use transition words along the lines of 'like', 'cuz', and 'but'.. it takes away from the effectiveness of the punch. u can get away with 'cuz' and 'but' with a very nice flip, but 'like' is one of the ones that rarely ever help form a good punch.
now, the handle bars line i thought was gritty n' slick. real talk. that shit was witty n' sounds like an audio type punch, which normally isnt a good thing, but this time it was executed correctly. the pick of the litter was a lil above average.. i actually liked the wording at the end, i felt like thats what made it quotable.
the power rank punch was done poorly imo, i mean, it came off as basically u pointing out he had a power rank n' that does the opposite of what u intend to do, because that helps his image n' rep rather then diminishes it. the closer was another gritty punch, and i liked that shit alot. you worded it almost perfectly, and it had the sting that u intended it to have.
in the end, its a close battle, but malice had more punches that i was feelin. it was only like one more punch, but it was enough to edge it.
n' yo, im giving these very thorough explanations cuz im tryin to help cats elevate n' make this league better.
vote - malice
Last edited by Nick.; September 26th, 2010 at 01:52 PM
Nice verse last week. More votes.
Last edited by Wise Ways; September 26th, 2010 at 02:50 PM
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WhatThatLookLike..?!
Malice:
he a novice in the field, he never seen the likes of battle scars
his style more like a paraplegic bikin, just aint the type to Handle Bars
he a little bitch, the runt in the mix - he stayed puny and worthless
only time he 'pick of the litter', is court mandated community service
and honestly, if theirs an opinion to be had, wise is bound to show up
only time he should be talkin in threads, is through em....
.................................................. ............when his mouth is sewn shut
Wise Ways:
this fruit's a fraud, trys so hard to hide his faggot lover image
M does lollygag tho, when i drop kick his mouth while he has a sucker in it
this kid's an insomniac, losin' sleep thinkin' he HAS to beat me
it's obvious u don't get Skillful Dreams, cuz even that dude'd smash u easy
took ya dignity in the FL & 1-2 punch, guess u ain't dope n real
so if 3rd time's ur charm, i'ma have to snatch that 2 BITCH, u know the deal
pretty cool battle...i think wise barely edged it out here...i think malice's first two bars really hurt his verse if one of those woulda been better than he probably coulda got this...
v/ wise ways
he a novice in the field, he never seen the likes of battle scars
his style more like a paraplegic bikin, just aint the type to Handle Bars
he a little bitch, the runt in the mix - he stayed puny and worthless
only time he 'pick of the litter', is court mandated community service
and honestly, if theirs an opinion to be had, wise is bound to show up
v
this fruit's a fraud, trys so hard to hide his faggot lover image
M does lollygag tho, when i drop kick his mouth while he has a sucker in it
u ain't ready for this & no one's EVER seen a girl in Mal's place
Pops use to keep him on his toes however, with a tutu - doin' twirls in ballet
this kid's an insomniac, losin' sleep thinkin' he HAS to beat me
it's obvious u don't get Skillful Dreams, cuz even that dude'd smash u easy
v/wise for more lolz.
Mal had
Bike handles
Mouth sewn shut
Pick of litter
Wise ways had
97 tips
Lolligag
3rd time charm
I had it pretty even w quotes but in the end I felt like male misses were worse real close battle I actually read it a couple times wises swag there at the end actually sold it for me but good read both did their thing
V ww
Originally Posted by Malice
Nice match, both of you brought some good punches with sting, some great personals, and good nameplay and wordplay. I only quoted the absolute best.. so i could get a winner, cuz i had it tied 3 quotes a piece
Mal good shit fam you gave wise a good battle! However i feel wise had more sting in his personals and punches so I have to vote for him
V Wise Ways
Wise wins 4-2
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