User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: ~Lost With A Badge~ Pretty Long

  1. #1

    ~Lost With A Badge~ Pretty Long

    Im an 18 year old, young inspiring artist
    every damn page and beat, i go the hardest
    no crosses or worries, im stuck left godless
    just look at my life, for i done and saw this
    murder from a man, who hated certain colors
    all while everybody's, fighting over red and blue
    he's constantly harrassing people, due to his orders
    it's been like this all along, what's he suppose to do
    cuz if he just ignores, whats always expected of him
    he'll find himself lost and alone, but somewhere in the end
    he slipped and didn't notice, a human figure real close
    somewhere down the block, in the flashing lights
    standing behind two nova's, with a unmovable pose
    cuz the streets are hot, with memoriable right's
    for the community to hear, they heard the shots
    and they still can see, a body laying in a bag
    i hold no more fear, for these so called cops
    cuz of what they did to me, so i walk with a rag
    and represent with the fam, cuz these nightly curbs
    took my brother with bullets, and that's where it began
    im going ready to the fullest, only thinking revenge
    i see investigators, asking questions with no answers
    while the truth's burried, somewhere deep in my mind
    i know they best be haters, trying to cage our masters
    and have them shipped and carried, doing over due time
    out with their celebrated, and well treasured freedom
    their all black top educated, ain't fakin it like a musuem
    naw that's where he passed away, just cuz of a few slugs
    due to his school colors, and the ways of true thugs
    his demise was never solved, due to evidence lacking
    they never interviewed witnesses, or did back tracking
    so im out the closed door, searching all on my own
    and i swear i'll find him, it's his life that i'll soon own
    a few hours of walking, and no fitted subscription
    till i hear some talking, then some one end's up missin
    in a back dark alley, with a cold black gun to his face
    quickly brought to tears, screaming and begging please
    i drag and throw him out front, to the very same place
    he free'd my brother forever, his offering money and keys
    his telling me he gots kids, and a very humble wife
    i ask why are you so racist, and hate the colors of skin
    he reply's i don't know, and i swear i'm very very sorry
    i tell him to get down on his, god forsaken pittiful knees
    and i'll give you 5 minutes, for god to come save you
    his telling me not to do it, why your not in such a hurry
    to meet what's after life? the whole block finally see's
    whats all going on, while the time's up that i gave you
    i slowly place the 45 to the back, of his thought holder
    the police are rushing, screaming that i put the gun down
    i answer them all back, look at this see it ain't fun now
    a dark colored person, having control commanding the badge
    the scenes just a little worsen, right here at my last stand
    the cops are asking me, what did he do? what it is i want?
    with quickness i answer, i want the justice to finally
    do their god damn job, and arrest this man here with me
    their confused asking why? i tell them what i got in store
    is a story of betrayal, from the comfty protection of police
    until one fire's i step back, and catch my breathe before
    i fall to the ground i shout, squeezing the trigger of peace
    that this right here is the man, you been looking for!
    guess his been under investigation, but he was well detected
    for his wrong doings it's just that, he was a cop that was well respected...
    ~1~ RESPECT

    Thanks for the time...Fuck The Police

  2. #2

    Re: ~Lost With A Badge~ Pretty Long

    uppin

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    New England region (of the USA)
    Posts
    57
    Battle Record
    1-0

    Re: ~Lost With A Badge~ Pretty Long

    wasn't too interesting. it wasn't well-written or captivating. you could have definitely done more to catch the readers attention. the length wasn't necessary either.

    i think you could have done better with a short and compelling piece (better wording and more creativity).

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    New England region (of the USA)
    Posts
    57
    Battle Record
    1-0

    Re: ~Lost With A Badge~ Pretty Long

    sorry, double post.

Similar Threads

  1. Tiny Dancer - Pretty long OM
    By [k]onquerer in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 2nd, 2010, 02:23 PM
  2. Hair Gettin Pretty Long
    By Qui-Gon Illy in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: September 23rd, 2006, 10:30 PM
  3. Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 13th, 2002, 11:47 AM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Post: July 6th, 2002, 08:01 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •