Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Rules and Regulations
Good Luck!
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
checkin-in
No one is perfect
http://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.80886824.jpg
Topic I Chose : Shameful compassion
Because The Greed Of 2 Individuals, Eternity Vanished!'
Which Led to the Human Kind to Understanding Commandments
Since Adam and Eve ate the apple to their satisfaction,
Led our life to end with a shameful compassion....
The Story Is
Started With Adam and Eve-
Tastefuls What happened, it has caused fateful by fractions
Then What Happened was Greed-
Fatal Attraction, turned into Pain full of damage
Led to a war for life -
Satans Battalion, versus Gods Angel Assassins
The bibles message is, Die -
Faithful Companions or die with Shameful Compassion
Soon after God brought Wine -
A basket of bread with a Plateful of Commandments
.......................
1.trust in the Lord (I am the only god)
Commandments 1 - 3
One evening a battle of bleedings', a battle with meanings
A battle of grieving turned our shadows to demons
We were angels surrounded by The apple of Eden.
All seemed fine until eternity ended...........
......................when the apple was Eaten.
A gamble of treason, Left the lord up in shame
Left the human to blame, The world felt all of his pain
The least we can do is never say the lords name in vein
This was not a grain of salt that confession could save
But confessions still great, the release of stress is massive
The test of passage! So are you trustworthy or just a savage?
Obstacles of life harder then tusks on mammoths, luck runs on majic.
You have to keep the holy in sabbath, thats to christians and catholics.
Let me flip this like gymnastics
4 - 10 commandments
you have to respect both your mother and father
Or get all of your honor smothered and slaughtered
Because theres not enough armor to cover a monster
And you must never kill, thats the fifth law of our father
Rules that are proper are You must never steal, or commit adultry
Thats the summary the rules are compulsory to being trustworthy
Balance out the good, and part out the evil and all of its luxury
Like how God helped moses wonderfully when he parted the undersea
You shall never be unearthly or bear false witness,
im not saying be snitches, im not sayin lie out your britches
but be a good neighbor, say your memory faded the images
and don't covet thy neighbors wife or anything they own
thats a haters job, these are the reasons haters get stoned
And im not talking about smoke im talking about breakin their domes
Started With Adam and Eve-
Tastefuls What happened, it has caused fateful by fractions
Then What Happened was Greed-
Fatal Attraction, turned into Pain full of damage
Led to a war for life -
Satans Battalion, versus Gods Angel Assassins
The bibles message is, Die -
Faithful Companions or die with Shameful Compassion
Soon after God brought Wine -
A basket of bread with a Plateful of Commandments
Because The Greed Of 2 Individuals, Eternity Vanished!'
Which Led to the Human Kind to Understanding Commandments
Since Adam and Eve ate the apple to their satisfaction,
Led our world to die with a shameful compassion....
Last edited by Emperor F Ect; May 11th, 2011 at 06:50 PM
No one is perfect
No one is perfect
After Sunrise
Jaded smiles flake; shrouded by silent cries
forming fog in my throat, icicles in my eyes.
Will I die or will she really get to know me
using, abusing fallacy; breaking the prophecy.
I guess I'll let fate be exactly what it is.....
An excuse for the meak, that fear dreaming
As I glow; watching my peers gleaming.
Blood flow thickens to a boil, I hear voices
Shouting their lungs out like thunderous clouds
ponderous minds yet I'm still pompous & proud
found my queen even though we're worlds apart.
Caught between love or embracing the arts.
My choices weren't smart but I'm still there
like the moon on a dead night, watch me glare
Time to get my act right & break this curse
Resonate with self before shit gets worse
Clutching my ''breast purse''; whatching you smile
With a beam of hope but it's been a while.
So I kiss the old goodbye & catch new jewls
that shimmer, a new day to be schooled!!
When the dark fades balance is retord
as light galvanises hope and new beginnings.
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Scytsophrenia
On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.
[soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]
Initially when I read Mic's drop. I couldn't really get into. There was a lot of forced rhymin' in it throughout the piece. And I'm not really a fan of the preachy sound when tryin' to incorporate biblical stuff into verses. Shoulda worked on makin' it sound more natural. Maybe relate the theme of Adam and Eve to a more modern story. Idk. I just think you coulda did better with the concept.
Soul's piece was nice for what it was. But it was too short. And for such a short piece it staggered instead of havin' a quick impact imo. When I first started readin' I liked it more than Mic's drop right from the jump. But then as I kept readin' it didn't really go anywhere else. Sort of just fell flat around half way through.
So Mic gets my vote for a more complete piece. Even tho I couldn't really get into it. I felt his piece was executed better from start to finish. Soul started off nice. But needed to do more than he did to pull the win here imo.
Vote - Mic S
A.i
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*Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit
Mic S...
I enjoyed the approach you took to the topic, and the fact that you stayed true to the topic throughout... however, some of your wording didn't feel right...
what I mean is, when you're talking about biblical references and regilious ideology, and then jump to phrases like 'breakin' their domes' it doesn't quite resonate well... the vocabulary and style of choice wasn't totally consistent... I also felt like the chorus sections of the piece were a little too repetitive...
all in all, an interesting read, but I think you needed to give us more of your personal take on the religious implications of the piece, you only skimmed the surface...
Soul...
your piece is formatted in more of a standard verse, which made it a little easier to read... and it started off cool, but it didn't really seem to go anywhere... it seemed less cohesive than Mic's, and there were some rhyme scheme issues that didn't help (couple of single syllable lines and lines that didn't really rhyme well)... all in all, at first I thought you had it, but by the end, I think you lost it...
I vote for Mic S for sticking to the topic better and executing the subject more fully...
v/ Mic S
One of the things that got me through Mic's verse were the multis. They seemed forced a bit in several places, but it at least kept the piece flowing... It wasn't very original for the most part, a few fresh flips here and there, but few and far between. The way it was structured was more complete and had a clear vision of what he was portraying, more so than Soul.
Soul, your piece seemed rushed a bit. A couple lines were left by themselves with nothing for them to rhyme with. I'm assuming it was written quite quickly with no proof reading. A few pieces of cool imagery, but I was left wanting more from an emotional stand point as well as a fully executed concept.
I'm going with Mic S this time around for an overall better product, Soul Slayer could have edged this with a more complete piece for having some more originality...
Vote = Mic S
we wuz celebrating daughters b-day yesterday sorry bout not putting 4th link up
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...056/index.html
there it is anyways if it means anything now
No one is perfect
Mic S wins (1-0)
Soul Slayer loses (0-1)
CLOSED
Legendary Song - Winter Snow
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