LLL SEASON 16 - WEEK 2
10-20 lines
check ins due by Tuesday Night 9:00pm PST
verses due FRIDAY 12:00 Midnight PST
MUST VOTE ON AT LEAST 4 BATTLES PER WEEK
Every vote missing will result in -1 vote in your match.
Every No-Show will result in a loss and auto-sign out.
Don't forget 1st place prize goes to Verse of The Week.
Good luck @Alastair @KnowP
Last edited by $pitacular; December 2nd, 2013 at 04:56 PM
aight word
check, 12-16 lines
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...466/index.html
Last edited by Alastair; December 5th, 2013 at 02:05 PM
.
.
I'ma psycho, some say Abnormal the way I Blaze it like a Pyro
but when the votes drop, I guess that's why they got it Albino (Al by Know)
never Fold, or show a weakness cuz that's not a smart Bluff
but to think of it, that's something I Casino being a part of
this hoe's afraid, your entire verse, Know you know it's played
Auburn vs. Bama, in the End I win from mistakes my opponent made
get owned & slayed, let ya name display the trouble through
it's fuckin true, those punchlines your posting give K no W
this is internet rap, 4G versus 1G.. you're a small talker
it's a jaw dropper, you'll die over Hi-Speed, ya Paul Walker
I'm all proper, you're no thug P and you can forget shame
it won't help the pain, I wouldn't yell, "K,G!" at a Nets game
fuck your Motivation, I'll end your Desire with my flow
get your Drive tuned up, & at the same time you Die, Know (Dyno)
I wrote this bar in ya blood, since you think you're a legend
so you won 89 battles, but that don't mean shit if you lost 27
.
.
Saw you cried for a vote last week, c’mon, lets face it kid
Your career shit n now you gota cheat for more time like ure Jason Kidd
One look at your pic on twitter dude, your whole dating game is screwed
If a girl goes on a trip with A’stair, she’d rather commit suicide than go on one with you
Parental advisory, eplicit content, lies just rip you all apart, kid
U dream of having an album with that since mom only buys you Wal-mart music
Don’t let that troll get you pumped up, kp is good wit glocks
No one will think of a cabin trip when you and Dad are together in a wooded box
Battling aint for everyone bud, no fake audience in this crowd
Soo just cause you’re married with children, doesn’t mean the shoe fits, Al
Listen muffin top, im packed with heat so stay out my face
bet when I turn the burners on you, the whole league’ll start to smell like cake
glad you were coo with sixteen, guess it’s a family business
hope that’s not your sisters age, cause after this she’ll get mine…. In inches
yeah im hung like a horse, just believe you me
I wont guess if you’re hung, I’ll just make it happen from your family tree
nice of you to show. cool verse.
Decent battle here but I got KP takin the dub on this one. Lot of personals n good concepts that family tree & sister gettin it in inches killed it lol and the Al Bundy line made me chuckle a bit. Al I liked dat dyno line & K no W joint was sick too but the Paul Walker concepts have been used countless times in battles recently gettin tired of seein em fareal nice touch on the red writing but the concept coulda been a lot better tho
V-KnowP
lol same to u sirOriginally Posted by Alastair
I'ma psycho, some say Abnormal the way I Blaze it like a Pyro
but when the votes drop, I guess that's why they got it Albino (Al by Know)
(dope as hell 1/1)
fuck your Motivation, I'll end your Desire with my flow
get your Drive tuned up, & at the same time you Die, Know (Dyno)
(dope as hell 1/1)
versus
Saw you cried for a vote last week, c’mon, lets face it kid
Your career shit n now you gota cheat for more time like ure Jason Kidd
(0.75/1 the kid/kidd rhyme was elementary)
One look at your pic on twitter dude, your whole dating game is screwed
If a girl goes on a trip with A’stair, she’d rather commit suicide than go on one with you
(Note. this bar was so poorly worded. my god...the setup was satisfactory but then he starts the finish great with wordplay "trip with A'stair'" and kinda drops the ball. none-the-less the concept is there. 0.75/1)
glad you were coo with sixteen, guess it’s a family business
hope that’s not your sisters age, cause after this she’ll get mine…. In inches
(dope as fuck. 1/1)
v/ KnowP
alright, good battle
never Fold, or show a weakness cuz that's not a smart Bluff
but to think of it, that's something I Casino being a part of
get owned & slayed, let ya name display the trouble through
it's fuckin true, those punchlines your posting give K no W
vs
Don’t let that troll get you pumped up, kp is good wit glocks
No one will think of a cabin trip when you and Dad are together in a wooded box
Listen muffin top, im packed with heat so stay out my face
bet when I turn the burners on you, the whole league’ll start to smell like cake
OK, Alastair.. explanations are
a. Gay
b. A result of the writer's inability to convey the concept
c. Damaging to your overall read
HOWEVER that Casino play,the K no W.. genius. But then you hung on to the two-letter plays too long by dropping another one (that was meh) right after the K no W one.. and then jumped right back into explanations. Man you're so inconsistent, but you can be DOPE when you focus. And the closer I didn't care for. 89 wins is 89 wins G and that's still over a 3.0 W/L ratio with 27 losses so I don't know where you're going with that one. But you did impress me with a couple concepts. Hopefully you can continue to produce those types of punches in greater volume.
Know.. what are you doing bro? you're going HARD at Alastair then you come with some "mom only buys you Wal-Mart music" punch that was reaching hard just to rhyme. I get the concept but it would only have impact if it were true for the reader IMO. You had a ton of relation/comparison punches, those just don't impress like concepts do. You're wording is HARD though. If you start putting some real concepts & personals in your writing you're going to hurt people's feelings. You're lucky, because if Alastair didn't use those explanations, I would have voted for him. But, he did, and to me that's worse than comparison punches by far.
v/ KnowP
Casino was forced, so I don't know why it's getting props. Albino wasn't forced and could have been great, but the connection in the concept to the word albino just wasn't there. Instead of using the setup to help, it was like you tried using the setup as another punchline, which was also the case with a lot of other ideas you had. For example, Dyno. It could have been dope, but it needed a better connection and wording. Hi speed/Paul Walker was probably your best line, with K no W being a close 2nd. You definitely have a ton of potential and a lot of cool ideas 'n concepts. You just need to work on using them right.
KnowP, A'stair and married with children were both nice, and I think I'd throw my vote your way if that's all you had (it would be close). However, the burner/smell the cake line was also decent, and you had a couple other almosts.
V.KnowP
Last edited by Salamander; December 7th, 2013 at 05:15 PM
knowp how are you going to rhyme kid with kidd havent you been doing this shit since like 09 lol anyways
never Fold, or show a weakness cuz that's not a smart Bluff
but to think of it, that's something I Casino being a part of
vs
Don’t let that troll get you pumped up, kp is good wit glocks
No one will think of a cabin trip when you and Dad are together in a wooded box
KNowp u are the most unconsistent fucker i know, the wooden box line was fucking ridiculously nice i thought the concept was good good execution and dope concept. ur other bars failed in comparison to that imo. i thought that the shoe fit al, could of been done much better the concept was really nice but i know u n i know u could of did much more with it...stop being lazy with ur bars its why ur so inconsistent
alastair man ur bars were a bit wierd like the al bino bar ur punches need more sting and hit to them. judst keep working on it ull get it ,u got the potential u jus tgo tto place it
edit cuz i forgot to vote rofl
v/knowp
Last edited by Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere; December 8th, 2013 at 12:55 AM
damn you! lol who's your vote for?
lmao i edited it in, i cant believe i forgot that shit
Posting Rules
