dead skin

[Jukon]

between the satin
dead skin rests, along with
unspoken words
that the pillows hold,
the window pane
full of shame
and echoes of
unrequited prayers
that i never sent.

i'm best friends
with my doubt
and sometimes;
old habits come calling.
when it comes to life
or death
the latter always pulls me down.

[Emily]

between the satin
dead skin rests, along with
unspoken words That's nice. Not only the dead skin line, but the unspoken words also. They kind of go together in a twisted way. The imagery is good.
that the pillows hold,
the window pane
full of shame
and echoes of
unrequited prayers
that i never sent. prayers is interesting. I like the 'that I never sent' bit. We don't send or say a lot of what we write/think and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not sure. Something's are better left unsaid I guess. Once they're said, you can never take them back. So maybe silence is golden? Who knows? I don't.

i'm best friends
with my doubt this is my favourite line. "I'm best friends with my doubt" That's good. That's really good.
and sometimes;
old habits come calling. that's why they're called habits I guess.
when it comes to life
or death
the latter always pulls me down. Nice ending Jukon. The darkness always wins in the end doesn't it? Maybe it's retained more than the light? Maybe it leaves more of a mark? Maybe it stains the heart more than laughter and love? Or maybe we're just used to it? maybe we like it? maybe we're the sort to be drawn down dark paths? Maybe.

This was good Jukon. A good reflection of what it means to be empty and hollow and creased and forgotten and tired.
Tired of words and window panes and trying and shame, tired.
I get that feeling when reading this, that you're tired with the same old thing again and again.
And now it's time, to look forward to the death once more, because we've surely missed out on some life.
You're a very talented writer who has the ability to draw emotion out of the dark side and plant it firmly on a page.
You have the ability to make that darkness come alive and breath all those negative emotions on the reader.
We're left with the sediment of your sentiment, and I don't know if that's good or bad, I'm not the judge or jury.
I'm normally the one in your seat, falling into the dark side.


This was lovely.

Thank you.

[Jukon]

Thanks

[Karaoshi]

This was nice man, sometimes keeping it short really serves the piece well, and this is a good example of that. If it was longer, it would have dragged into that awful "bemoaning" territory, but short like it is it makes its point and leaves you with that. Good sense of unease and disquiet coming through, along with regret. Opens up the worlds of hopes and apologies without drawing the piece out by explicitly mentioning them. Good job man.

[Jukon]

Appreciate it @Soul_Purpose I'll hit your new piece once my laptop loads up