Don't Cry

[Manc Sinatra]

Little Petrarchan Sonnet I wrote a while back. Not really a heavily active poet as I tend to exercise those urges more as a rapper but when I do write I tend to be more formal poetry than free form. I actually quite like Iambic Pentameter in general.

Don't Cry

A child will shed a tear for silly things
His father doesn’t shed a tear at all
Conditioned tear ducts never hear the call
Devoid of the reaction sadness brings
See, crying isn’t right for household kings
And feeling only makes them think you’re small
So never show your heart within his walls
And hope for your escape on broken wings
A future doomed for us, dehumanised
No empathy or passion will remain
Just robots walking in an endless march
I see the global pain with no surprise
Too often now reaction is disdain
It seems that we forget to use our hearts

[Emily]

The music in this is uplifting.
It's loud beat, lifts the spirit.

A child will shed a tear for silly things This is adorable. I can almost see it. Nice intro.
His father doesn’t shed a tear at all Hardened man. The black and white of father and child has been done well.
Conditioned tear ducts never hear the call Beautiful wording Cracka.
Devoid of the reaction sadness brings And good reflection. This sentence is very well written.
See, crying isn’t right for household kings Top line. I appreciate classy, clean, wording. I like how you've
made it more personal by using the word 'See'. It just gives us a little more of you, and draws me in a little more.
And feeling only makes them think you’re small Clever.
So never show your heart within his walls Well said. I like the way you've written this line.
And hope for your escape on broken wings Yeah, this is great. Escape on broken wings is wonderful.
A feeling, I think, a lot of children (and adults) have felt, so I connect to this line a lot.
A future doomed for us, dehumanised The words 'A future' seemed obvious to me, since I already felt a futuristic vibe,
funny that, maybe it was because of the way you controlled the build and the tempo (which really impressed me),
not sure, but 'future' was the word I felt. And I don't know if I can actually explain any more of my reasoning behind it.
But I thought of it, and then I saw it lol. Odd. Probably just my own silly quirk.
No empathy or passion will remain This line strikes me as a bit flatter than the rest, Idk.
It doesn't seem, imo, to hold the same weighted wisdom as the rest of the lines in this piece.
Because the rest of the lines seemed multi-faceted, I felt this one was just a bit straight forward.
Not that it's not good wording, just, isn't as animated as the rest, if you know what I mean, imo.
Just robots walking in an endless march The build here is spectacular. The wording is magnificent.
I can almost hear the stomping of soldiers marching, which makes this sentence pop.
This is probably my favourite line. The imagery is great.
I see the global pain with no surprise I like the intelligence backing up the emotion.
Too often now reaction is disdain And the emotional 'drop' here is brilliant. That tempo is grand.
Love that control you have over the tempo from start to finish.
It seems that we forget to use our hearts Beautiful ending. Kind of hits you with reality and yet,
at the same time, still holds that poetic essence.

Great work here. Impressive piece.
The pace was cool, as was the tone. But it's the tempo and the build that floored me.
The music was so obvious to me. Very loud and clear. I've read this a few times now,
and it only gets louder with each read.
Great wording that's staying real and connecting with the reader melodically.
Sophisticated writing.

Loved this.
Very entertaining.

Great Read.


Thank you.