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Thread: A Disciple's Thread

  1. #151
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    Re: Lucifer (JAY-Z)

    I’m trying to get back to family and recover... I’m not trying to play a game.
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  2. #152
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    Re: Just read that Marios thread

    How the fuck did they even get on my body? It hurts... it’s gross.. they are HURTING me and I don’t know how to make it stop.

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    How the fuck did they even get on my body? It hurts... it’s gross.. they are HURTING me and I don’t know how to make it stop.

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    Torture? WTF wrong with you people?

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    That was gross too...

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    We’re not friends anymore... he slept me for perv pictures!
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  3. #153
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    Re: Just read that Marios thread

    I’m not siding with people who slept or hurt me and hurting and torturing me isn’t going to change my mind either. I rather be dead... I thought we all got the option of being dead instead... cause I’m not respecting let alone worshipping anyone as sick as you or would even expect me to look towards people so low. Where are the people with morals? When and where does morals play a factor?
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  4. #154
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    Re: Just read that Marios thread

    I didn’t speak to her for 3 years... idk how she knew or why she was outside the courthouse waking me up that night. I thought I was hallucinating. Right now just DONT CARE have PRIORITIES and tired of getting my ass kicked and stripped of god given rites. I seriously don’t understand how this even happens.
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  5. #155
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    Re: Just read that Marios thread

    that one? We were at my brothers wedding breakfast the next day and my nieces bestie said to my aunt that it’s illegal to practice on family members. I’m pretty sure I know why now and like... fuck you, fuck you, fuck them - it’s not I’m a push over or that I just wanna dismiss it... it’s I don’t have time right now going thru the worst shit and like I’m not even trying to make sense of crazy or entertain either of them... I just want comfort and peace in my own body and to finally start to recover. All that shit going on behind my back for what? Bitches running rounds on me like shit is a joke. I’m just like all my white tees were missing in myrtle beach too... WHY? And yeah if I thought that one would tell the truth I’d ask her straight up but I cut EVERYBODY off as a result now. Tractor to tractor - I’m not your bitch.

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    I’m just trying to get them the fuck up off me too... forcing me to kiss my hands and shit. None of them are my priority right now.

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    I’m tired of the nightmare for real... even this!!!! What the fuck is going on and why?

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    I want to be and feel like myself!!!

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    Not them!!!
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  6. #156
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    Re: Just read that Marios thread

    They can’t force me to live my life kissing my hands or giving myself dirty looks in the mirror. I’m never making peace or accepting some monster in or on my body and my decisions BEEN made. You can’t redirect or demand I stand there instead and for real I’m fucking BEYOND humiliated and tired of your entire damn process going rounds. I’m the one that knows better so I’m the bitch? Everyone hate me like fine... it’s probably cause the people that were closest to me lied. I’m embarrassed I’m even entangled with them too.

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    I don’t need any of them to get thru this... I just need to be and feel like my mother fucking self. Mickies cool what ever like I really can’t understand how shit even got or came this far.

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    I don’t have to resolve shit with wolves especially still being blocked from my family and pyre
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  7. #157
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    Illuminati got my body?

    Or does Illuminati not know someone does? It’s gross and excruciating pain and what they’re asking I refuse to agree with... we been in this fight before. Now that I know... EVERYTHING changed and nobody demanding shit of me cause these are things I face my Lord with in the end. SOO... I’m just confused how a god let them and trying to demand they’re mine.

    Real shit toungues and all and IM FUCKING TIRED

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    I realize on a random or what ever but these are all the questions haunting me that I always ask when haunted just nobody wanna speak real or truth. And when I have nothing to say whether it’s all god... I just can’t comprehend why there is one here that just don’t comprehend we don’t get along or want the same things. Why would I be meeting new gods? I have 2 to deal with and that’s already too much for now. Shit is real for me but when I look back and read it’s been this real for most you all a long time. I need someone to explain this to me.

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    7pm? I’m not that heart broken - I done been got it - BUT

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    What you want?

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    Our ... like look how they did me you must be out your mother ducking mind if so. Then I be like well maybe IF everyone watching may be safer and then I’m like... you crazy if I’m disclosing all, I’ll stay with tradition

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    Meant to say fucking* that ducking auto type be annoying the shit out of me sometimes too. And I’m sorry but this is my life and I need help. I got good karma for real so I can’t understand.

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    No witches any where near me or my body unless you there. Can we make that a rule? Cause I’m so fucking tired and we SO disrespected and it feel like I’m the only one that even care about that.

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    Now I know why R said he thinks she “just jealous of my father” and I just say oh word? It’s cause of my birth father bitches like you get to do what ever you want. Reason or not. I can’t understand that for the life of me!

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    What? What the Psychs say... shake it off I’m a be ok? It’s not how low you fall it’s how high you bounce back up?

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    I don’t need their world... I need to be myself so I can get thru this.

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    Nah but you saw what they did to ready to meet him... don’t put that on me.

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    I’m just trying to figure out who is fucking with me and why

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    Fuck who is trying to kill me... I’m going with the rape because I have to live and survive with that every day.

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    Et al...

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    Someone attached themselves to my soul and straight kicking my ass I try to pray for protection and they say please forgive first.

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    Please forgive me first*

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    Wolf... and they’re loyalty is with wolf first whether it’s right or dead wrong or not - that’s my opinion

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    If that witch circle proceed they all gonna be dead... but they don’t hear me though. Cut the first...

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    Nah I woke up bleeding like that and bleeding across the hotel room to the bathroom. Blood was every where... it always happened to me and Ced but it was funny they didn’t call and ask cause blood was everywhere.

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    Yeah I do still love him but what ever... I haven’t even began to process how I feel now that I’m up and realize a lot more
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  8. #158
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    Re: Illuminati got my body?

    That any bitch you want? I can’t do it I feel so fucking then too... and like... whoa.... ok.... I need 1:1s right now

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    Feel so fucking fake*

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    They don’t help and leave me on my own to respect you... I made my choice and yeah it hasn’t changed since 14... but dead up... did you or did you not catch me?

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    Maybe they help now... and from my fire to rib burn... they got YOU hitting ME by accident? Or you just helping me by sharing cause the pain for real is unreal... and on that.. was just trying to tell you and get help.
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  9. #159
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    What they did to my Ready to Meet Him

    Why I got an administrator on my account changing and positing shit as me? I’m lucky I had another copy... them bitches coming in with that corny dicing what I wrote in like 06 and like... it’s mad disrespectful. But the funny part is yeah they think they can even change my religion too. I swear I can’t stand people who swear cause I’m crazy that I’m less than them. Crazy with more stripes than you... what’s your excuse bitch?

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    Someone raking down my wrists like I’m a kill myself? For you? I’m a kill my self over bitches like you? Nah... praying everything come to light and in 360 soon cause I’m still waiting on my karma.
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  10. #160
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    Re: What they did to my Ready to Meet Him

    How they fuck they just allowed to change my religion though? PROOF ready to meet him. (This shit is sick, it’s uncomfortable, it’s abusive on ALL levels, ear popping, twitching, etc...) WTF?!?!!? How is this even legal?

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    It really is a god... it’s just not mine
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  11. #161
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    Better days...



    I got no choice to sit here and spin like this. My dreams weren’t ever selfish. And if you just saw how much they fucked up for all of us you’d be mad too. He gonna blame him, she them... and here we go again. I’m not gonna be scar face guys I’m just like... hit and hurt and confused... like maybe if people talk more and kept secrets less all this would’ve been resolved. I’m drunk... I relapsed again. And C he called you out by government so of course I got defensive and popped. But nah I don’t really know why either. YOU in jail again... how that even possible? Don’t you ever get tired of them too? Cause of Chris, C... the first time I saw slow mo and changed everything. Now shit just be awkward and yeah we might be a little too late...

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    I’m not airing out anyone’s demons but mine. And the any bitch you want that made it all too far. “You are who you are when you got here” good... then put me back and keep it that way...

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    nah not love... he was on the “Peter pan” that was my boy and before I got ibm and lost all my friends working too much. At the silent scream C so like don’t be scared. Cause Sarah was beyond stand up. You lucky! And Sarah I respect YOU too much to ever step.

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    Thank you for respecting me!

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    They’re trying to demand to change my entire nature...

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    When everyone got out the car... you know... can you please help to get them off me then?

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    I never even kissed or messed with Corey either... but I did feel like we used to be mad tight

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    Like lil Cs... I remember going to the store and getting a lighter

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    Nah it was WHEN I realized I personally related personally is when I freaked out.

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    And I didn’t say I did... I said I know how it feel.

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    Torn... Pac never left me though

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    I have trust issues too... am I going to be able to support myself again?
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  12. #162
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    Evaluate Tools

    I felt you get upset right before I heard them again and started feeling sick
    There is NO WAY IN HELL I am accepting them or accepting any parts of them
    Theyre like leeches I can't cut off and don't know how to
    I believe God gives you all the tools you need to get thru life so what I'm trying to do is evaluate mine and trying to figure out how to disect them off of me once and for all.
    Not like they ever even asked me or had my permission to begin with.
    No I swear my nightmare is going to be over ONCE AND FOR ALL. And until I can figure out how to cut all off sides that is never going to happen. I need help - I didn't even realize shit like this even existed = I just thought I was just hallucinating when somehow the freak bitch ended up outside the courthouse when I cut her off 3 years prior. Now I'm not so sure. But I am sure that's why she called out the blue a week later to be friends again. TIRED AS FUCK and I'm even more embarrasssed now to be affiliated.
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  13. #163
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    Re: Lost+

    I always change jay z songs when he goes and changes to that second off beat. I never ruled the world... I never even wished I did. What I can’t understand is how I landed on the opposite side on their tracks AGAIN!!!! Shit is so sick and real it’s beyond comprehension and I’ve been waiting like 7 years now for them bitches shine to wear off. Actually more like their sick to wear off. I just can’t understand this... why? You’re supposed to get what you give... so how for real? With a god and a culture that’s not even mine co signing it all. Who thinks I’m some lower level pass around bitch? I don’t even like them! TAF but I know no one wants me here either so at the risk of sounding that desperate and pathetic that they all paint me now I’ll step off a minute. But have to warn you everything I say I’m a do lately I don’t and do opposite like I’m some Hippocrate bitch that I never even judged to begin with. You got the wrong bitch I swear but what ever and nah I didn’t know. 10 split seconds made it all click and I thought it was finally over. It just got worse... im so confused

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    I fought thru hell and nah I’m glad that now I know... but it was like losing them twice.
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  14. #164
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    Hell

    You call them culture vultures I call them dying to get in. There's a reason BIGGIE said trying not to sin. Come on jump!!! And I'm a laugh my ass off when each and everyone of them get lit the fuck up. Behave bitches, behave I swear. I especially would like to know who on me praying dead opposite with all that other sick shit too. It feel like my "heart" who ever they are doesn't understand either. So Im a post the original "Ready to Meet Him" that some dumb ass bitches fucked up and posted some real dumb ass disrespectful shit instead. And that's why I'm mad too... cause they run around and get to do what ever they want to people any time they fucking feel like it and it's not fair. I know there is a sentence after but I don't want to be abused and disrespected NOW!
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  15. #165
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    Re: I tried...

    I mean for real... what the fuck up with some wack ass moderator trying to speak for and pretend to be me? I don't have time for you bitch. And all these stupid fucking games. You're really lucky that that is what you have the time for to do in life - really you must be so bored. I'm tired of cursing people out too. They know who peed on my bed and how they got in my house too. I let it go what ever cause I know I'm safe now. If a mother fucker ever sleep me again I swear I have a divine instinct to protect myself and family at all costs. After everything I already been thru just stop. Don't make me sit in a jail now for having to beat you down too.

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    near and dear to my heart... who the fuck even speak like that LMAO
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