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Thread: Hold Onto Me

  1. #1
    Soule
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    Hold Onto Me

    Walking through the forest, oxygen on overdrive,
    smitten, smiling, spiraling down the hill on a sober high.
    Rain in my eye, you ask if I'd cried, we laugh a bit,
    been lost for days but your face makes the path worth it.

    She has this smile, goddam man, that smile,
    it's enough to make your mind spiral.

    We find a cave shaped like a heart, stay inside while it's dark,
    you ask about my scars but they are stories best left on guard.
    I notice a birthmark, you shift your aquatic eyes to the stars,
    are you searching for Mars or simply drifting through the charts?

    She has a vibe I feel safe behind,
    can't set her free from my mind.

    It starts to rain, droplets follow her veins,
    I can't help but melt wondering how she tastes.
    Brushing the hair away from her angelic face,
    I kiss her lips before burying my fangs.

    A sweet diet, her moans grow silent,
    her fingertips linger with every pint spent.

    Hold onto me while we share this moment,
    our love's not broken but sealed in it's omen.
    This isn't hopeless, more romantic than ever,
    a bond without flaws, bleeding on my leather.

    Together, forever, our DNA intertwines,
    staring at the rain as her pain subsides.

    Never again will you ache, I've saved you,
    never will your heart break, I'm faithful.
    Drained you of cancer, answered your prayers,
    I loved you enough to reveal my deepest layer.

    You close those crystal eyes
    -- still engraved in the frame of my mind.

    You gasp awake, your skin; snow white,
    the look on your face illuminates
    so I'm surprised when you stake
    me through my chest plate...

    Hold onto me, while you slay your savior,
    I cured your disease and made you greater.
    Little did I know your true intent,
    to take my gift and twist it...

    I thought you were perfect, I was certain,
    if only I smelled the decay beneath the surface.
    It wasn't death corroding your soul,
    it was the musk of a serpent...

    A venomous strike, I close my emerald eyes,
    a billion nights ended by a villain's knife...

    Laying in this forest, oxygen, never mind...
    smitten, slipping, spitting blood, the pressure's high.
    Rain in my eye, or maybe I've cried, she laughs a bit,
    been lost for days and her face makes my last a bitch.
    Last edited by Soule; October 15th, 2021 at 01:35 AM

  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Hold Onto Me

    That was really good man! Seemed like this was an easy one to write because it flowed pretty effortlessly. Tons of stand out lines that tie into the subject. Like a vampire in love with his killer is the vibe I’m getting? Not sure if that was just metaphor for something else or if that’s what you were going for but it was a beautiful concept. The real feelings of love mixed with the vampire idea was captured well and there’s nothing real negative I can say! Good work sir. Gonna nom this one foshow.

  3. #3
     Murder The Mainstream Nohbody's Avatar
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    Re: Hold Onto Me

    a cool tale of betrayal here. Not that it takes away, but I was hoping around the midway point that maybe you would touch on her motivation for killing her "savior" ..... but i guess this is where imagination can fill in the blanks. The flow was pretty smooth and dialed in, and your wording reflected well against the tone of this piece. Story progressed well and wrapped up nicely as our guy met his final demise. I love how October brings out the darker pieces of work... good job here bro

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  4. #4
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: Hold Onto Me

    "I read in one vampire poem" ... it was beautfiful, and love but not selfish... we are all built for our tasks in life... and they woke up alone to a hell because people lied to divide them instead. And in their darkest hours they always cried to each other safe in a white storm. A unity stronger in love where it was thrown all around in disbelief thinking they missed and wanted to know where. Cause they knew they weren't built for that lifestyle.

    So to see a vampire story in betrayal is upsetting. But that would be exacrtly what's up is if some round 2 thinks he can come and step up to the plate. Especially on virgin.

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    Sometimes I wish I was a vampire... my old best friend has cancer and my father just died ;o( My brother said the worst has already happened but no, they're not going to stop there.
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