A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Ok I feel better but the levels of hell are unreal… I don’t want to be redesigned and tacky against my own creed with the probably same people who did it… and yes but I need my own mannerisms and personality… they make me feel phony and fake and like I’m acting

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It makes me feel ugly too

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K, I, M, K (that’s ironic) … when I think of that I think of forgot. I did really like the kardashians and saw a few episodes too for the reality tv comment

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They’re scaring me… my god already designed me… can I please be me without changing my nature especially when I don’t want to

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Cause I can’t feel like them cause them bitches weak as fuck. What stripes do they have for real other than manipulation. In my world that’s corny… I prefer to do with the real

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Deal with the real*

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Watching all eyez… I’m going to say how I relate or what it means to me.

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“Rosemaries baby has the devil within” … a flower grows in a dark too cause prime example of what too much light can do too!!!!

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I rather die on my feet than live on my knees… LMMFAO not me and no comment and I’ll probably never be able to do that ever again either now. If it your man for shopping money… don’t front… you bitches do it for free.

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Nah I didn’t bleed thru though… why would there be a god terrorizing me? And fucking with my head?

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Not even going to think of that right now… I can’t I’ll never get forward…

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Thru my pants… it’s on my bed*

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They really have my body… so on that knees and feet comment I’d say… Freedom or death especially over my path and life desicions and gods and such. My God loves me… who’s is this one?

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I don’t believe and doubt my god would abuse a bitch into submission when it’s against every principal you have.

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Not my creed, not my religion, and not even my friends anymore

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I’ll put the movie back on… they can’t tell me what to do though especially if it puts me in hell or retarded. We already have insanity! I have my own problems - they all need to go resolve and face their own

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The guy in the yankee gas truck…‘I’m in hell and I don’t have to be! I’ve lost my instincts and my body and they won’t let me try to recover… like why I have to go crazy and suffer for them? I saw that and nah I’m not dressing tacky with it all about them… why would I even wanna be at his drop down. After what I saw I def would. Why would he even live that long? Please stop popping my ear I don’t want to live in hell with you!!!

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How I lose my choice and say too? It’s just a god or dr I collide with

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I need protection from creepers…

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I’m not their trash can either… and we just collide so no… you def can not own and demand my body when I say no.

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I do have a choice… DEATH!!!! You not going to disrespect me and my body and tnrow me into some type of hell!!!! Is that what’s going on she think she my best friend?!?? The bestest friend I ever had!?!!? LMMFAO

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In pain… mr pop a ear is an abusive prick and he’s on my body and I don’t know how he got there either

[A Disciple]

They’re not going to sit here and tell me and try to demand what I do. I REFUSE

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I’ll die before I let that happen!!!!

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Pain, taps, ear popping… having a hard time watching the movie

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Pawing my face?!!?! I’ve been me my whole life… you’re not going to demand to change my nature and creed now too

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Belial bitch… cat… creed… ours! I’m sure Everyone can respect ours only

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I’m Baal bird and like

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This zone and these spirits refuse to respect me and my body

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What did I do to get it disrespected to begin with and who?

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I’ll watch the movie later… all the voices and noises and spirit sharing like nah I really can’t stand it and don’t like it so why would I have to?

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I totally forgot… 3 double cheese burgers… but I couldn’t even tell you at which point I was supposed to get it

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Riding thru it with 3 people besides my family and it’s hard

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It’s like being dead alone… I can’t respect a god that abuses innocent people

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I think K got to strong on his bridges… someone must’ve told him… now he and everyone else they told won’t let go.

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I put my life on this entire switch around or give me death… you don’t have to give me torture

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Because I don’t want to lay down with my hands to my face talking or sorting demons I don’t even have or want. I’m not ready to deal with it yet and until I am leave me alone!!!!

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You man isn’t your god… at least he shouldn’t be

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Someone on my body that I probably never even met too?!???

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In hell with you instead of getting back to myself and family?

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Their spirits are forcing me to bow?!?!!? For what?!!?!! What am I guilty of?

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If I actually had a defense I’d say I’m not playing with you bitches at all… I’ve been thru enough as is and I’m not carrying all of the weight and nightmares

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Why do I have to feel like and live like them if it makes me sick, I don’t feel good, and it abuses me and puts me in hell?

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Cause I won’t do what the spirits and people want me to do… they even thought they could do it for me and like

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If I was in my nature things progress along fine… you just don’t like it

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They’re all spelling thru me it feels like

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I’m christened, communion, and confirmed so like I don’t know how this happens!

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Why do I have the wrong god for real?

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My dad turned Christian and maybe he can talk to them… I am weird like that have like my pre conceived vision of god and I feel like I’m Catholic and not Christian cause Jesus js not god yet… but when he comes he will judge the living and the dead… and like there is still time for redemption cause some of you all ghosts included are evil as fuck!!! I don’t want to talk or go to religion but I have shadows…

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I don’t believe in them being stronger than my creed… like…

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Yes… now I know

[A Disciple]

Pay to rape me? And I drop it and let it go?!!?? YEAH RIGHT

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I have legit wiring skills and can make my own money

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Idk and I’m not even going to think about it… I’m gonna smoke this cigarette and try to sleep. Like they think this is some game and joke and I don’t know how to turn it around.

[A Disciple]

I’m watching it again trying to not feel gross literally feeling my own enemies in my flesh

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Because it’s not my god, family, or creed… and they took enough of ones that weren’t even theirs

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Start with the guy that was taking pictures and I didn’t even know it and ask him how he does it

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Like youre being held hostage in your own body… that’s what it feels like

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Nah that’s not how I feel though… Hollins maybe you are here and I can sleep not feeling like some enemy creed in my own body.

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Just trying to break free of this nightmare and finally KNOW I’m safe and not disrespected in my own flesh ever again. And who ever can’t understand that… fuck them. I’ll take death before disrespect and torture…

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And I would kill for that too… I just don’t know how to shoot or where

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You threatening my neck on my own body typing names you swear you got a stand to demand while I suffer?

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I’ll try to sleep… but like when they stronger than my own creed… I’ll die for and even question My God on that. Time flying tonight Lord!

[A Disciple]

I know steels but I only get a long with one of them… maybe 2 and like… they’re even spelling thru me too type hostage. I used to be able to smell them bitches. I rather die than to have anything to do with the creed that raped me in my own born city to even begin with.

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I can bench a steel with my legs though… ask him

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I was having a good morning… then I felt stalked. Like everytime I’m with my ex our friend calls me type weird. I don’t want him like that but he protects me, I respect him, i was hit when I lived with him, we have the eye, I trust him, I love his family and like… if I had my way he’d be our creed too…

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I hate the man popping my ear and causing me physical pain too… and like… if I was a wolf I’d have magic in my blood and be able to get him off of and away from me. That’s why I say it’s like being held hostage. They deleted Ms station off my xm… they hurt me anytime I came close to waking up… I can’t even count how many times I’ve hit insanity and like… I want to be my best me… this is my worst me being forced to share my body and kiss my hands and stuff… and after 8 years do you know how tired I am?

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And people on the side lines acting like it’s just a sport?

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And then some racist wanna act like I had to see what it’s like to have lived a slave route?!!? Are we even serious right now? And I think he’s white too… if that’s what’s up I’m a hang him from a church staple for real! If they’re black im just gonna say now you’re no better cause you would’ve done it too…

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My ear popped and my entire head, face, and neck is in excruciating pain. Why won’t my ghosts find and kill him though?

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I rather die

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It’s hurts so bad right now!!!!

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And I don’t know how to protect myself from them and my old friends

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I don’t want to lay down with my hands to my face trying to stop the pain… I wanted to watch all eyez on me and be able to get thru a movie without hitting pause every 10 minutes because the noise is irritating. Typing words to myself like it’s ok to just demand to share my body… I didn’t sign up for or agree to none of this shit

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And them stalking ass bitches talking about they scared like this shit just some dismissive thrill ride

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Like bitch… what do I owe you more than my own daughter… please speak and state why you think and swear and demand to be more important than everyone in my family and creed

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Like I didn’t even already go thru enough…

YouTube Video:
Click here to view on youtube

I was chilling in the crib one day
When 5 birds came and chased me away
I guess in a way, you can say
A lil birdy told me
That he was about to scold me
What I do? I was just keeping it real
Is it cause I realized in utter famine and thirst one will steal?
My neighbor couldn’t even give me a free glass of water
And of all that brought to me this new world order
A world that opened up and turned on me
Fuck what they in to, I wasn’t even trying to see
Ran out the door and was knocked down the stairs
Trying to keep cool on the block ignoring their stares
Then hell opened up and it turned into an inferno
Felt the heat penetrate my skin
To the point of desinigration
Turned the corner saw kids playing in the yard
So I gave up and said fuck it for them I am scarred
No sense of watching an innocent suffer, not given a chance
So look this white girl in the face and tell me it’s my last dance
Felt the smack, from my own father, an attack
And now, I am not even trying to make up for where I lack
Instead I turned around and said ok
If this is the way you wanna play
Instinct took over, I hardly had to think
I stared hard at the bitch recording me as I sipped my drink
Number one… thall shall not murder? … Ok
You really wanna play?
Off to the mall and around the block
I chose my weapon – hardly a glock
Drove to the scene
Yet somehow my heart still found a way to intervene
Eye to eye I fear no man
But what was said was so real, I began to understand
Looking back, all my memories flashed before me
Like that time dude slipped me a micky
It didn’t click until coming out of surgery that day
That when I woke I didn’t realized I was touched as I lay
Once a victim, the pattern is constant, I can name 3
3 motherfucking times I begged a motherfucker not to penetrate me
Trying hard to convince my body not to lock, it just makes it hurt more
So off to that other world my mind started to soar
I continued to look back on my life, my footprints in the sand
When I see my own I was carried? Now that shit I can’t fucking stand
Friends that I’d give my life for turned their backs and closed their doors
Laughing at the demons who picked me back up yet forgetting all yours
Shit got ill penning in my notebook
Codes that were written left me visibly shook
Abandoned by almost every one
I lived for nothing and then I was done

I was propositioned, I saw it my only way out
At this point I was a suicidal bitch without a doubt
Eventually, I learned how to deal with the real
My heart beats heavy some nights, just to remind me I still feel
I don’t know why I forgave my father yet again
But just when I was out, I heard the slaves cry --- so I jumped back in
Leave those who saved me?
Never, then what example or lesson would I be?
Now you wanna trick me?
Give orders out just to be a dick B?
My own brethren turn around and beat me?
All because this bitch wanna defeat me?
I tried to tell myself the humilitation of it all made me a better person
But feeling so fake and so weak, and still to get fucked over, that’s when it hurts then
But don’t they know… the reaper my best friend
I cloak up and ride just to make the offer with him
I ain’t afraid to lose my head to the sword
He even send me reminders, felt the roll, and what redemption my reward?

So I studied, stayed real, and conversated with ghosts and the best of them
Traced like over 1000 confessions, them begging me to justify them
I see it --- I see almost every angle
You no longer have me nor have that carrot to dangle
Pac said a flower grows in the concrete and showed me a pic
I even heard one grow in a dark room in a lyric by Kendrick
We never run in the city we come from
But I refuse to let these weak ass motherfuckers make me look dumb
Do you know my drills?
You think I let go just for the thrills?
I let go to remind them, any day, any time
And that isn’t just over my God given talent to rhyme
You can’t judge me for looking back to the times when I was most happy
Why would I betray the brotherhood that spawned me?
I want my position back
I think I’ve earned where I lack
Don’t get me wrong… I don’t have an ounce of hate in my heart
But don’t you dare question when, where, how, or why I called this war to start

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Apologize
YouTube Video:
Click here to view on youtube

(start at violin)

The hardest of hearts, the hand that’s been showing
Now I don’t claim to be knowing
LOVE, the same love we both seek of
Turning each other out game after game
Both of us should be hanging our heads in shame
When hurt, we shut down, not realizing when real come back round
We hurt real, then real then hurt too
The reverse touche come back around on you
Real gonna scratch her nails down his back praying that you feel it
While hurt gonna go in and go in, he praying his heart you just steal it

But it’s too late…

But in the end, no one wins
We both left with feeling of sins
Then comes the debate
The hate
The sat-ism
Cause I’m afraid to go through that pain again too
ICE cold, I become, the same thing that I was always so jealous of you
Then you find it was all just an act
How you sit back and not react
And so it go… until real recognize real again
Only real can’t steal what real just cannot feel
So she turns and retreats regretfully
So you try to rearrange the damage that’s been done
And you find that special one
Only he? He’s done
What’s there left to do but run

Cause I’m afraid… And it’s too late

Now I make love with cold stares while rolling my eyes whispering sweet nothings
Love don’t live here no more, anymore, ever again but at least my heart no longer stings
Realizing I can’t get real and true without bringing someone else that hurt too
So cold as ICE I lay back, open my legs, as I take off my shirt
I stare at the ceiling and look to God as he slowly insert
Trying hard not to cry, knowing I probably just lost my last allibi
So I pretend
Cause real still recognize real - but real just ain’t no longer a friend
And I pray and I pray and I pray for it all just to end
And I don’t expect you to comprehend
And I don’t expect you to mend me
And I don’t expect you to really see
And I don’t expect love to ever be… again

And it’s just way too late to apologize… PIMPS

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Nah I wasn’t a prostitute that was just dating…

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I’m so done…

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Everything was fine I was writing… had to step off a sec trying to reestablish a home for myself in Norwalk and like shit just popped the fuck off and I’m still spinning down 8 years later - straight hell

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We have a family text now and we zoom every Sunday… it feels good to keep close and talk to my family again… we’ve been separated and hardly speak since… me and my sister stayed tight though but we even started falling off communication wise. My dad brought his family back together in death. And has been turning on and off tvs at our house and unplugging my cell charger every day.

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I just don’t understand why he won’t kill the man popping my ear and abusing me in the name of god

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To be honest… idk yet

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I feel it’s them demanding to wake me up instead is what’s making me so sick

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I don’t even want to get dressed right now again… stuff like that that is so hard and not even like me… like my room is out of order… I have laundry… I haven’t taken out the garbage… and I can’t even function in not clean like

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I want to be my best me… not my worst and most sick me

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He just wanna abuse a bitch then force himself on her to hug and kiss her… like bill bill buffalo bill go tuck your dick over there cause really I’m not the one

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Example… when someone kept coming in my home in Nc and I only knew like 4 people in the state… eating my food and all… so I baked a cake with peanut oil cause my ex is allergic. I will kill you on the police station lawn and turn myself in easy!! I can and will not ever tolerate abuse again… I have zero tolerance

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Like these bitches refuse to comprehend there is nothing sweet over here…

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I used to laugh at work like nah Cheryl you can’t choke bitches so I learned other ways to manager that too… but

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And it is fucked up cause I’m chill wanna have and get along with most people…

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Want to have fun*

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I feel burned for accepting people and their faults but like

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IDK

[A Disciple]

I’m not mad at the site… I’m mad at the bitches trying to put a needle in the feds arms instead of theirs

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I want my basic civil and human rights back… to be able to defend and protect myself, and if that’s why my dad drank himself too negligent homicide maybe… he knew my phone would be back in 3 days so like I do wonder if he found out what they really were doing. He drank himself to death and it was BEYOND horrible what he went thru that year to his death and me and my dad was close… close as fuck and like

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Laughing at his $2k bar tab in one day… we all kinda smirked at that! I miss him.

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I probably would’ve went out the same way…

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The last time I saw him he winked at me… I wanted to keep it at that

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Maybe I’ll try to watch the movie now

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Idk how to but believe me I would’ve

[A Disciple]

2 hours ago? I got home at 1pm - 4 hours ago… that’s strange

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Nobody on this EARTH is going to put me thru this again I SWEAR

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I don’t even have a record!! I demand to be able to protect and defend my self again…

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How did this happen for real?

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Nah Ill probably glitch retarded another 5 hours now and like…

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I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHO AND HOW AND I WANT MY CIVIL AND HUMAN RIGHTS BACK. Do I have a council cause all I’ve gotten these past 8 years is not a matter for police

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I need help… they refuse to stop sleepwalking and abusing me

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I got home at 2:30pm not 1pm but went right to my phone so like

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I just told my ex… I know he’s on it he just isn’t getting to it fast enough for me

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Start with ikon and ask him how did he sleep me to get those pics

[A Disciple]

Shaking

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I would say my personality could’ve split easy and it’s that… but it’s only on someone’s demand

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Start with ikon… if you think I’m a live a puppet blow up doll bitch you crazy… I’m pire

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I’m smoking right now… like how can you tap my ass but then not know who or how or when they’re hurting me?

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I didn’t ask you to be a pervert and I let you get away with taking lines off my butt with my under wear on or up top with my bra on… that’s already far enough… but if you think I’m a be raped ever again YOU CRAZY… I’ll kill before I allow that! How did you do it? How do it start? And how do we fix it so it NEVER happens again?

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Nah talking to you then him

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I feel my heart

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They have me so mismatched I don’t even know if I can trust that anymore… and like pire only that’s only who I trust besides mag and my ex I don’t want to not trust N either

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@Soule @Candy I swear to God

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Like I blow a kiss to you and then it feel like them or like when they had you 2 and sick 1 at the same time

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I didn’t give my body away though so how?

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Cause don’t live this way with spirits… our spirits respect and like… they really trying to redesign a bitch it feel like pac

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We don’t live this way* they’re trying to change my culture, my family, my creed and my blood too… the same people as mb2010

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You can’t demand to change my god, my culture, and my path

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You’re like an infection - get off me and get off my ceiling too

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STOP STALKING TOO!

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Like what the fuck am I supposed to do nobody will make them stop or get off of me

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Idk who’s popping my ear, they’re on my body, trying to demand they my god and they’re not

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I’m a get everyone killed… nah… YOU GOING TO! I didn’t ask anyone to hurt or abuse me or disrespect me

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Nah cause if you was mine… that’d come naturally! I want to be my best me not sick ugly confused abused and retarded me

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Is he a psych?

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TIRED AS FUCK

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Like when she said if she was in her own clothes she could just handle it… but I can’t cause I feel like them and they weak as fuck, petty as fuck, stupid as fuck… and my life been derailed long enough. Now I don’t even get MY dreams of being a mom and having my own family… not someone else’s kid - my own! that ship done been sailed and I don’t suffer for any of you

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Why are you allowed to just sit and tie me down and hold me and demand your way at even the expense of us law

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Feel it right where Jesus got pierced

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Now nobody even reading it or see this shit and not help. Oh he said we could then said we took it

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Did I get shot? And then to still be able to have kids to this I can’t even defend or protect myself and like

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Destroyed my dreams for what? For real though… what’s the offense they’re calling? Cause shit just got real

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WHATS MY OFFENSE?!!?

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Prolong this? Nah… and drop for me it if I did do any of them bitches wrong like that that they can destroy my entire dream

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Am I jealous they all have families? Not really… but they’re also blocking me from if I really did already have my own too

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So I know my God saw you bitches coming

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I actually was really ok with it cause I didn’t want my baby or babies to feel replaced

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And they already have a mom so I have to deal with them calling me Cheryl too and like…

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Cause I was a secretary and if shit popped off I couldn’t support 4 people on my salary

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And I wanted to be the at home mom… and 6 years later we def was the wrong couple but why did I feel the surge 3x thru him? Shit like that dead wrong and confusing

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He won’t let go cause IM POSITIVE them bitches told him and set that up too

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I don’t know why I just laughed but it’s always been like that. Why you were my fave

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Then it just made me feel less then and trash

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Well it’s going to be a long night and sometimes I feel like should I even bother rambling here… at first it was just weird and crazy and nature but now some things are making sense

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Yeah maybe I’ll write

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I’m sorry but I just can’t… not with them bitches

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It’s called east… get their family away from mine and make them stop blocking my peace and comfort

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Just get me to the other side cause this sides hell gets worse and worse and I don’t deserve it

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It’s affecting the love I have for my god and distancing me from family but acting out of nature and self

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Well maybe if they let my vampire wake me up

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I’m getting lit up right now feeling like them… I’m not their shield either

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Like… they jumping thru me and it’s not my nature and it’s disrespectful and abusive

[A Disciple]

Like I’ve been drilled thru the mother fucking ground and they won’t even give me privacy with my family

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Like someone has to go… or I’m any bish that they want now too…
My god wouldn’t do that to me!

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I say Lord and he immediately says forgive me like you disrespectful fuck you on my body and now you on my soul mocking my prayers too! And like there really is a god who co-sign that too and like

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People AND spirits trying to speak for me lord… and then that black Rob DMX JAY Z and the twin towers comment like they not going to have me feeling guilty over something I wouldn’t have wanted but yeah In my walks them CDs too… and like I know I’m not that powerful Lord… but evidentially they are

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Idk… maybe? They seemed to have changed my religion without my permission

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I’m done… I’ll try to watch this movie and like all in hell all alone too. I jumped in and nobody jump for me? Like… cool

[A Disciple]

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It takes away the peace and comfort in my own body X

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I’m not going to be that arrogant…

It was your words by my side when they accused me of suicide
And like church… it brought me thru the rain
You only live once, so like please lord help me to withstand the pain
I could go Kermit the frog with lollipops on them bitches
And yeah I hope I did expose all of the snitches
I saw the 2 ditches and I’m to the point I don’t even give a fuck
Trying to survive for 5 and my heart not even in me gonna make it even harder to survive
Wish me luck…

I’m not a performer or an actor or any type to be like look at me
But now they’re freaking me out w pictures of just how ugly they say I’m gonna be
And like… I can’t understand that at all

It was in mental when the ghosts had me lifted on a cross
I screamed so loud everyone was nice to me but
how when you not even married you’re getting a divorce

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Yeah write it out cause that’s just how it’s gonna be
Like I didn’t catch “I ain’t they’re slave gma” or even realize direct shots at me
I ain’t a racist but believe me I understand if you are
Down ten should be up 10 you have no clue how many more

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Whatz a war when you only have left more then there is to lose
They know and use my family names and then act like we just playing games
Did somewhere along the lines did I look like your chump
Cause believe me baby girl it was the dogs that used to make you jump
You act like I never had your back and didn’t treat me like my own
Only you too infested sideways… let me find out and I’m a make it known
Like I guess they say I’m cold cause when I have no heart left for someone I’m usually done
With all these cliches think about it “body and blood of Christ” even Jesus run (maybe pire)
So like what would he do… I just always assumed we’d all share the pain
But I never intended to go that hard and be his apostles the one that was insane

Tired… I’m not gonna sit here and just suffer and write either - I need some real help like there’s even a god that hate me and I don’t know why

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Nah that was some live real life criminal shit
And it started the day I after for kicks id see if I can still make a split
The haunting started about 2 weeks before i saw it

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I don’t want it that way but I’m fine if I don’t get the chance to see my own money
Just pay back my moms, give to my family, and hit the only ex I’d consider his alimony
Like… I’m 43 so you understand when they’re making demands how this shit gonna be

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Nah I will forever have his back and would even consider family

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And then it feels like I was just punched in my face

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Nah bitch you gonna hit me for real and while I’m awake

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Well I won laser tag sitting in the corner and shooting the same target…. I get it but whoa bitches I get it - it’s just weak to me

[A Disciple]

Treat you like my own*

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Nah a disciple was for student… but I love god so much it’s what ever even when I’m yelling at them - (who ever thought the devil could be so kind and let me)

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I just love to have fun… and hardly get any

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I’d bang down his door like once a year talking ish… well I finally found out why and to be honest… ok it’s what ever you want it’s what ever was decided but some things just go against my soul and core and fiber of my entire being!

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It’s rare I say no or I can’t… but when I do and stand firm - just please believe me

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Like forgiving them bitches… it’s none of their business if I forgave them or not - but they will NEVER be in my life or story again

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I didn’t “have the epiphany them bitches were shit to me” until 2015 after I came back down from the 3 muffled bangs in grey world

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Weren’t shit to me* we up… I saw the set in a dream so when I saw the set I was laughing

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Idky 50 keep me laughing and I don’t wanna ever feel the other side of him not ever again!!!

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When I stole the car I was in my pajamas… I just woke up from episode and break in myrtle beach… but it all didn’t click until the 3 muffled bangs either. Idk if I just refused to believe it in denial or what - and then I saw that 3x thing… it was a gentle wake up and then came all this. Like why people just can’t mind their business any way?

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SORRY… I’ll go back to my thread

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Yeah I ruin my own days cause I think about it every day… I know I just have to stop and move on and then when I am… they show me abusive impossible pictures or I lost hours of time like I don’t know what’s up and like

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Who ever popping my ear like a prick… and the pain. And like nah I had rough sex once to get out of my bf at the time beating me up. I said let’s try sex therapy instead and it was better then getting beat but I’d never do it again. Like who ever came hard after my vv I don’t get it… why? Like you won… I can hardly even have sex now! But for what or even why for real?

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Nah I don’t want a man… I just want my baby sitters back until I’m better to run my position again

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I think my biggest pet peeve is when someone love themself more than anything or anyone

[A Disciple]

I wrote this a LONG time ago…

For My Unborn Child 2
I pray you never know the loss of a friend
Or the ones that are fake and just pretend
I pray you a heart to stick up for what is right
Even if that means an ass whooping in that fight
Never be afraid of a whisper in the night
Cause maybe that is God showing you the light
Fuck what the books written by man tells you
Would you be mad if a few religions I bestow you
Or just keep it catholic cause though I don’t agree
I can’t deny he’s always been there for me
And let me tell you now…
I want so bad for you too, to feel what its like when the angels carry you
But to put you in danger, do I have the courage to do?
I want you never to be scared if and when you look deep into his eyes
Cause people like us, sometimes we just recognize
And if you feel lost, just know these words are right here
No matter, what, no matter what, never you fear
Persevere
Sometimes life isn’t always what is seems
Never let them tell you, you can’t follow your dreams
You pick him out
He’s got to be real and he has to be strong
And he has to be able to admit when he’s wrong
Mommy is a little more than innocent
So he has to understand that when you are in bed some nights I wanna get bent
Family… that is one thing that is sooo important to me
And if possible, can I be the only babies mommy?
If not cool, because I know just what not to do by watching mine
In fact, mammy is a great role model too, she’ll show you the shine
I hope you have fun each and every day
Fuck those mother fuckers that say there is no time for play.
If I don’t ask, then please, please don’t tell
But you can always run to me if life feels like its got you under that spell
And if I ignore some shit, don’t act like that means that I don’t know
I hope we never but heads and to the realness we have to show
God I pray you are not a brat
I pray I always see the real you so I can change that
I hope your Daddy is such a man that is something for which you aspire to be
And he is just as dedicated to you, as I am, to our family.

And you don’t have to cry wolf
He’s here, he’s near you
This why I want you to know they should fear you
Revere you

[A Disciple]

There is a family that is seriously blocking and infecting mine and they really need to go… idk how to make them!

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I don’t want anything to do with them and I especially don’t want to feel like them… you wanna see what I been thru the past 8 years so like if they’re stalking me daily in the ceilings or what ever - how did they not know I was being hurt and abused and I even called the bitch and told her straight up and she didn’t care then neither or stop it she even denied her religion so like… usually when an enemy gets in that deep it because someone that close let them in and like…

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Get off your laurels and mind your own business… be grateful for the blessings you do have and leave me alone so I can get back to the rest of mine!

[A Disciple]

OH HELL NOOO!!! Begging to put the BREAKS ON THEM?!??? YOU FUCKING KNOW DAMN WELL I WAS BEGGING YOU TO MAKE IT STOP!!!!!

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I was begging to put the breaks on me?!!?! So that’s how you made human trafficking legal?!!?? Nah I was begging them to stop and they know it

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I’m watching a pac movie

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I’m fine with the ghosts but they really do need to leave… I can’t do both sides! Maybe if you fix it but as is I dead up refuse to

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THEM BITCHES NEED TO GO!!!!

[A Disciple]

I was having fun until I heard them and started clapping my hands and shit. It’s MY body like WTF?!!??!! Who I EVER disrespect? Whose body I EVER disrespect for real? Cause I’m tired as fuck!!!! I refuse to change who I am or how I live or my religion… just wanna be me minus evie e … how bitch like them even allowed to do that to me? Why?

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I woke up and the alarm was broken but I don’t believe in that shit… I believe we stronger than that and I believe I’ve been tortured and lost most of my dreams cause she can’t stand for who she is or what she does and say it like what? So like I’m done… I’m so over all of this - stop blocking me from my family you pussy ass bitch and consider yourself lucky all the jail time you can evade again. They been confusing since way back then!!!!! Like… a family that hasn’t been nice to me at all and I’m done… what were they doing talking to my soul for any way? And NOBODY had permission!!!

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I remember the play marriage w Fred and in my split seconds I saw kissing June in front of my old socio friend.

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That evidentially owns me or thinks she’s my religious representative and it’s fucking me up for real… I AM NOT OK!!!!

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I remember standing on top of my ottoman and chilly (T) giving her a dirty look and that was like 02 so like… I was fine I really was fine and writing and working and salvaging some type of life and then here we go… how would you feel?

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I was never with him not even a kiss besides on the cheek hello… so like I don’t mean to bother you all with it but like if he was there from month 2 or what ever - is it him the entire time? No one will tell me what the fuck is going on and I can’t drop it!!! That’s my family and creed!!! Why are they allowed to block me and take that away from me?

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I don’t want to live like this instead!!!!

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Leave me the fuck alone I have my own daughter and nieces and nephews to worry about. I’m not surprised you think yourself so special though. Not surprised at all!!!!