A Disciple's Thread

[Candy]

to true, and respect for keeping the family thing together as well as you can..
and people you miss during death especially you cant hold it against yourself because there is no certainty in death..


how can you be at fault for something that is so unpredictable

[A Disciple]

You're starting to sound like Hannibal Lecture there and that death speech... I believe in life after death. I don't believe death is the end all, just a new level.

[Candy]

lol a new level i can dig it..

alright hit me with what you think your strangest belief is then?

[Soule]

Lyrics
Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way through the crowd
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
It's always times like these when I think of you
And wonder if you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong, and I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
Oh, 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you tonight
And I, I don't wanna let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't wanna let this go
I, I don't
Making my way downtown
Walking fast, faces pass and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead, just making my way
Making a way through the crowd
And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass us by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you, oh-oh
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight

[A Disciple]

This site starts to breath and then dies again. I lit my candle for all souls but don't feel much like writing tonight. Maybe I will try tracing again even though everytime I wanna talk they won't say shit but let me try to write a note and my pen everywhere when I don't want it to be. Still gagging feeling sick as fuck... but TRYING to be positive. Seems some of these alt religions forget that you can't demand to change someones but hey demand of free will serious so like I feel them, why stop now. You're already ALL IN. What bothers me most is they SWEAR they so important. i have real issues to deal with and while what they did is serious and would normally consume most people, I'm just like... some needy desperate bitches that I'm tired of even giving attention to. Everyday I pray it's resolved soon cause I am worried about my culture and bloodline cause the only way this could've happened is the rape. That's just what I assume. And why they did it. And then to blame KKK too LMAO I wouldn't shoot at the devil and miss if I was you. Anyways... Happy Halloween - for a blessing to All Souls. Please a night of fun and relief and comfort and healing. That's what I pray for. And for all of you... except the stalker.

[Candy]

hey respect on lighting the candles.. your the first person i read who did that for the people..

yeh your right about all those open religions theyre to pushy sometimes and then blaming understudies and small groups like the kkk is just weak.. they might do some bad shit but not rape.. and there is a way of handling rape and not and if you check their biblical pages they almost proud that they blame somebody or some people that have less..

p.s.

fuck your stalker

[Candy]

[A Disciple]

Sorry... I’ll keep my threads here.

Like I remember when I was dropped after I stole the Lex and that, that witch woke me up outside of the courthouse when we weren’t even friends or hanging out. I thought I was hallucinating but it’s why I got so mad in the cop car. So to be here stuck in a similar situation like how you even trust them over me when I’m straight up telling you! You gave them way too much power and seriously they just laughing for real. Maybe in a prior day before the bitch turned straight up evil but definitely not now. Let go! Give me back to MY family!

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Nobody should’ve been waking me up besides my babies dad to even begin with!!!

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I can’t help you bitch... and I never will again!!!!! And nah I wouldn’t save you if you were drowning either. So we are even!!! BYE

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You have too much knowledge you have too much insight and I’m just sitting here wondering who trusted you THAT much with MY life... cause I wouldn’t have and knew better!!!!

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Now this bitch and her friends running rounds like we are their fucking game trying to rearrange a bunch of maps and I’m just like are we even serious right now. You think I’m just some fucking rag doll and not a person? You’re so consumed and caught up I don’t think you even realize that this shit involves humans lives!!!

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All you bitches are selfish and petty and I’m humiliated I was even friends with bitches like you to begin with...

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You better pray I don’t have the keys to your handcuffs!!!!

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I was working again. Even though it was customer service I was loving my job... started to exercise again and then like WHAM!!!! Wtf is it with everytime I try to establish some type of life or happiness that you bitches have to come along and fuck me all up again?

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I’m done... My life is over. I was up on Instagram swearing it was Thursday yesterday!!! I can’t even tell you the name of the puppy I named and it took like 3 hours to remember that the guy in powers name was Tommy. You have completely achieved in fucking me up and any chance for happiness or supporting myself probably ever again. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT?

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What do you want?!?!? It’s like that book the giving tree... I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE

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Nah norwalk was my all in and every resource used to try to re-establish a life again... you have kicked and beat me down beyond comprehension and I bet you don’t even have a reason except just cause you can!

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My father knew my phone would be back in a couple of days... let me find out that’s the reason he just glitched the fuck out and died like that too and I swear bitch...

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It’s not a fight... it’s they kick my ass anytime they want to or feel like it and there is NOTHING I can do about it!

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The next morning ray and Linda were in the lobby with the police lying saying I wrote a suicide note and I had to go to mental!

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Like it’s just some joke to everybody too!

[Candy]

the keys to your handcuffs was tight..

whats your instagram?

and how many days did you spend in the mental hospital i was in there for a month..

[A Disciple]

I’ve been in mental like 13 times maybe more since I was 13 I think... ranging from a month to usually like 4-7 days... a lot of them were 24 hour holds too... as a teen I went to partial hospital after school for a few months too. I’ve been in therapy my entire life pretty much. It’s funny cause I’m so balanced until I go crazy. I remember when I first got diagnosed as an adult crying so hard because it meant it’s not over and my life is going down... everything I busted my mother fucking ass for gone but I knew it then. That’s why I was crying so hard... I know my mind will be gone long before my body and me and my family are working on a plan now that my dads gone to make sure I don’t end up homeless too...

And guys - thank you so much for giving me my own thread for my outbursts instead of banning me. Writing really is almost all I have left to get me thru it!

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My ig is CLA919

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And keys to your handcuffs actually comes from the LOX (it’s a song)

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I don’t want to jinx it but I haven’t had to go to the hospital in 3 years ��

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I have a REALLY good dr now!

[Candy]

yeh for sure..
a good doctor counts for everything me to..
cause some of those therapist really are bad for the soul..
respect for staying out of hospital for so long..

thanks guys for letting her voice breathe you can talk to me if you want someone to talk to.. il be around

[A Disciple]

@Candy what does that mean and who are you?

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It’s scary and humiliating at the same time in mad different directions... that 3 like the nextel... just cause I was scared out my mind and did all 3 doesn’t mean I’m a sit here and keep getting hit like this. Like people can HIT... the obvious to the impossible is what made me so sick or making me! Anything is possible! The difference when I can tell... the calm... I laughed walking down the hall of the hospital with the fire alarms all going off. Like when you can go thru that and laugh and be calm and not even worry about being safe or not is when it’s your god.

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Or when I can shake my head yes and not hiss... and not heard what’s said.

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That’s god too... but you forcing mother fuckers. Think it’s sweet to pray opposite? Try to force a bitch to bow? We not even cut from the same clothe!!!

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I’d say rule number 1: every one to their own creed only unless it’s the kids, naive, or innocent then everyone should make sure they safe.

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Why didn’t anybody just tell me though?!?

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To be a private person at that too it’s like... the all eyes on 50 cent and pac recording? But we all have to live in the real world... who were you terrorizing in the name of what? And who knew? Like the entire site?

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I’m going to try to sleep... MY god wouldn’t do or push this though.

[Candy]

just in general

someone to respond to your posts so they arent just you venting you know..

i been on several boards for about 20 years friends with zunto from nc and soul from rb

[A Disciple]

I lived back and forth between CT and NC too. Don’t feel obligated to respond - where it is nice to conversation with people at the same time it just helps to spit it out until someone figure out what’s going on with all the extra. But thank you!

[Candy]

no obligation..