A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

Why do they say I don’t have a choice?!?? Get them off my roof please…

- - - Updated - - -

I hear them on my roof and feel like them and then I’m hit… idk what’s up with that but what did I do that IM the one in hell for?

- - - Updated - - -

Oh I remember… the book maybe about what they could’ve had but because of don’t and won’t ever from me!

- - - Updated - - -

I’ve been thru a mother fucking hell… I don’t and won’t understand a god who would or demand this either. Like…

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah the same thing again…

- - - Updated - - -

Like if my body isn’t mine I don’t even wanna be here so like…

- - - Updated - - -

Why they do all that and I’m the one in hell for it?

- - - Updated - - -

Like they my God clicking me too… I’m not changing my religion and being forced to pray with them or share my body or soul w them either

- - - Updated - - -

When they make me feel like they can make me any bitch they like… and like abusing my soul and flesh too. Like idk if you realize how real shit feel to me or what I’ve been thru like… I’m exhausted but I’m not giving in against my principals and that’s not just talk that’s my really real…

- - - Updated - - -

The opera music on my voicemail at IBM i was confused all day and like they hit me any time they feel like it and just cause and that’s not fair I don’t understand that or a god and religion that even co signs that

- - - Updated - - -

2022 PEACE AND COMFORT IN MY OWN BODY… why I can’t at least get that?

- - - Updated - - -

Do what you want… I just want to effing sleep!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

But they all try to blame us…

- - - Updated - - -

I hope you separate from them too cause like my God would KILL me if I ever had any slight thing to do with my old friends again

[Emily]

Get them off my roof please…

Who's on your roof? Are you alright A Disciple?

[A Disciple]

@Emily I haven’t been fine in 8 years now and they telling everybody this ish my dream!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Like dumb shit I don’t expect people understand but being mentally ill for real as a result of that too…

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not laughing… I can’t see one reason why I’d be in hell except talking MAD shit to my God!!!! Like… I have this one pic where you can the knots in my face and when I try to sleep it feel like pins in my eyes… and they’re keeping me from getting to my family and or people I feel safe around. And it’s flipping my world and my God completely upside down. Like…

- - - Updated - - -

Like showing the for facts and everyone dismissing me like it’s all in my head… we been running this round like what? 30 years now? When do I get back to my family and the other side?

- - - Updated - - -

And then they trying to demand and force me to go to the people who did this shit to begin with?!??!

- - - Updated - - -

I thought it was finally over and was so sure just to look so stupid again!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

One don’t have to fall for the other to rise so if you hit me every time I stand back up until I get hit… then maybe you should get the fuck off me!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

They so sure it has everything to do with them when I can care less about revenge or hate… my God and karma should handle it for me! And like…

- - - Updated - - -

The disrespect to me and my flesh too?!??? Who I ever did that to?

- - - Updated - - -

And it’s 2022 im done… I’m trying to figure out any which way to get comfort and peace in my body too… and then to make it all look like that? Are you sure you got the right bitch cause I’m not even like that!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Like…

- - - Updated - - -

I have to pee brb

- - - Updated - - -

To be so preset by them bitches too like… WTF?!!!??

- - - Updated - - -

Why?? Why I can’t be happy too?!? Why can’t I get a life back… like putting this all on my mom financially and mentally too?!? Like it’s not my religion to share my body like this… how someone can just go and change your religion without even asking you?!!?

- - - Updated - - -

And your cousin who ran to us when he needed help and look what he turn around and do to me!!!

[A Disciple]

And your cousin who ran to us when he needed help and look what he turn around and do to me!!! And why every time I try to watch tv to get my mind or the abuse and torture does my internet go out?

[A Disciple]

I don’t spirit share this way… it’s against my religion and it makes me even sicker… just screamed it out again! Must be so nice like I’m the fucking joke… is that why they did it? So they force me to share my body with them?

- - - Updated - - -

So they can*

- - - Updated - - -

Don’t get off me too… everybody just leave MY body and MY soul the fuck alone. Why I have to hear YOUR maggot cousin ask for forgiveness in MY body when I say Lord?

- - - Updated - - -

Don’t* get off me too* not don’t get off me

- - - Updated - - -

I’m so DONE!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

He said he wasn’t your cousin… on the strength of you? Like…

- - - Updated - - -

I want to go to sleep NOW!!!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Everybody off MY body and stop trying to change my religion and god too! I don’t share my body like this and I’m not going to glitch retarded now for them bitches too!!!!

[A Disciple]

LMAO… idk maybe… is that why he’s my angel?

- - - Updated - - -

TRUMP LoL… you better be!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Like he was there for me too… and jay got mad at me cause I should’ve done more to help being mental but no way in hell I thought she was anywhere NEAR serious. I didn’t know her that well… but her soul shined thru her eyes and they were so cute.

Jamie’s on My Mind

Last time we talked it was 6:34
I can’t stand to close my eyes cause I don’t want to think about it no more
Your beautiful eyes with a fire inside
I couldn’t believe it when they told me it was suicide
Game on, tap and cheer… I can’t believe we lose another year
But maybe if I write it all down you will live forever
Cause Jay’s not doing too good right now…
And I don’t know if he will ever
In life you play the cards you’ve been dealt
But girl I don’t know if it was fire or ice that you felt
Everyone is looking back rethinking if it could’ve played out all different
But when the signs called out you didn’t seem that distant
You never took the humble for granted
Called them as you saw them and girl I just can’t stand it
Too many seconds I think in a day
It was the end to end them all, in all that was left to say
But I know you stand beside him now and always will in every way
Our heads hang down flipping thru pictures just to see you smile again
And nah girl I can’t ever hate you even though you did this to my friend
I wish I could’ve shared your pain or stayed up all night to save a life
But every time a heart is broken it can drive you insane and cut as deep with a knife
Hold on guys… she’s on her way
With a no nonsense attitude another angel got her wings today
Life is gone too soon and eternity is to last forever
Does it mean now that in infinity you will always be together
If I had one wish, I would’ve given it to you
We would cracked the cap on the bottle and just cried it out too
But rewinding time is something we just can’t do
The after hours spot just closed for night
The room is dark but will forever be adorned by your light
Jamie if there was one word left to say…
I’d say we all love you and in our hearts you will live on any way

I don’t wanna exploit her or her family but maybe that’s why he is my angel and I would like to find out.

- - - Updated - - -

She had a son… if anyone want it we can hit him off too maybe?!?

[A Disciple]

I’m still laughing cause like ohhh… that’s why!!!! My angel… I’m doing better or trying to at least. Sacred scriptures has a league now so that gonna up the bar and teach me more skills and I’m ok. “We survive thru the dark and the bad parts” XoX

[Emily]

“We survive thru the dark and the bad parts” XoX

xxx

[A Disciple]

Who just lit me up and why? What did I do that I’m to this level of hell being disrespected by some god?

- - - Updated - - -

I saw something at the casino… Is that what happened that made you flip? Um… yes I now believe that microphones can just light on fire out of no where and… someone really on my body bullying me!!!! And like… they’re not letting me make my own spiritual decisions or secure MY boundaries in MY body. I’m not married… how this happen? And I’m not a roach… they can’t force me to scatter with them!!!

- - - Updated - - -

It doesn’t mean you trust them… or will give them a chance again though. I’m not gonna self sacrifice over them when I didn’t even do them wrong!!! My old friends played me not vice versa! Message received about “war” and I’m not going there literally but tug wise war wouldn’t abuse me. Their spirits are disrespecting my flesh now too SO like jungle? Idk? I’m not capable of making that deduction now and yeah… it feels like they refuse to let go and are winning SO… like why can’t their team or if you affiliate with them divide… I can tolerate you you and you but not you you you type ish!

- - - Updated - - -

Decision*

- - - Updated - - -

2022… this isn’t peace and comfort

- - - Updated - - -

Over that? Nah I put the words in lights to see what they talking about…

[A Disciple]

Over that? Nah I put the words in lights to see what they were talking about… that’s not a dream but some hypothetical ish. Like… is it us fighting and like WHY? And I can run down and try to explain how I see it but I’m the crazy one I need someone to explain that to me… and like… cause you’re there and involved i keep trying to get out this hell but in that zone? Like…

[A Disciple]

I heard “must be playing for the people cause their shit lined out” but I’m not playing at all and never was and like… on my texts appts w 2 different psychs that I don’t even remember… and on demand by who? And the more I disclose the more I’m in trouble and all eyes and family and everything… so for me personally I need “teams” to re org if they gonna come any where around me cause… and like… not tonight teams like the wolves who keep shooting us all up teams…

- - - Updated - - -

Well… then why did you not report it?

- - - Updated - - -

If I effing die from all this… DO NOT LET PSYCH OR THE DRS GET MY BODY OR BRAIN!!!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Cause I’m not going to live in a hell this deep because someone who didn’t even ask permission is attached to my body and soul. YOUR HELL not mine and just trying to get back to mine.

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t like this culture or religion or this god…

[A Disciple]

Back in sacred scriptures and ready to learn… if I had the education on mechanics they even said I’d be the real deal… anxious to learn!!!!! I it my ex with my car by accident today and he’s going to sue. I fucked his back up smh… my insurance about to go up to $500 a month now… it was just raised like 2 months ago from backing into a car in the parking lot. You know where too?!??! In front of the eureshia store - tune in to see how this works itself out.

- - - Updated - - -

Our insurance is the funniest part…

[

[Soule]

Don't post verses from open battles please.

[A Disciple]

We cool about it under conditions but there is no doubt in my heart he’s real when he said he’d even give me some… just coming back in from my gMas house who is 97… out of all the grand children (8) I’m
The only one that’s never been married… like gma I tried 5x and it’s too late to have kids any way like I pray you understand me and my heart like gpa does but that’s only cause you two set the bar too high… he died 45 years ago and she stayed loyal ring and all. By herself… like if it isn’t real I don’t want it… I want a husband worthy of that ultimate respect too! Or vice… she used to tell me stories like how date night was the day he died and all and like…

- - - Updated - - -
@Soule sorry!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Can you delete?

- - - Updated - - -

Note to self… jay prince song they talking about on this conscience podcast

- - - Updated - - -

They referenced EMs/Pacs RESURRECTION which is a deep album for me

[A Disciple]

Like cause the switch up is a 360… but just cause I was looking doesn’t mean I’d buy them - though I am a firm believer of taking real good care of the ones that are here

- - - Updated - - -

Just had a reminder that life can switch up on you in ONE second and it’s all over. When I hit my ex… what if it was worse?

- - - Updated - - -

The pink and chocolate diamonds

- - - Updated - - -

You see this is why people need to talk cause I’m so look one way but it be a different what ever or like… you can’t assume how other people think if we all don’t have the same hearts (in my pac voice)

- - - Updated - - -

Jay Prince (Closer) is the song I liked and related a little to

- - - Updated - - -

That break (pink and chocolate diamond break) that I’m not sure was so much a break but they just scooped me up and shifted me off I feel.. or really like idk. What I need is more help, protection, I don’t want to hear them begging for forgiveness when I say Lord. How the fuck they even on me praying type… and like…

- - - Updated - - -

It really is back up a second angels… pac

- - - Updated - - -

They so good at demanding the wrong side.

- - - Updated - - -

You really think I’m a forgive or go to her and then go be w him. Like this stronger than me in me shit? Can I get a verification please… for real…