A Disciple's Thread

[Truth Iscariot]

No telling. Why not make a new profile

[A Disciple]

You know what I learned in st Augustine? Back in the day people were buried with strings attached to bells… so they can ring if they really weren’t dead. And that’s where the expression of hes a dead ringer of him came for.

- - - Updated - - -
@Truth _iscarot the name is taken

- - - Updated - - -

Or just unusable and I didn’t like the suggestions

[Truth Iscariot]

You know what I learned in st Augustine? Back in the day people were buried with strings attached to bells… so they can ring if they really weren’t dead. And that’s where the expression of hes a dead ringer of him came for.

- - - Updated - - -
@Truth _iscarot the name is taken

- - - Updated - - -

Or just unusable and I didn’t like the suggestions

Brainstorm a new name you find fitting

[A Disciple]

What winds… probably has to unwind too

- - - Updated - - -

You can let go or make it pop from the pressure… I can really care less either way but that is truly on you all

- - - Updated - - -

Nah I like cla919 and maybe cla203

- - - Updated - - -

Or 516 maybe

- - - Updated - - -

I still remember my first phone number

- - - Updated - - -

Nah like maybe a disciple but like I rather keep it quiet like my library

- - - Updated - - -

There was a lot getting written off my accounts that wasn’t me and I’m TAF like please I’m legit mental… pac confirmed that in how many songs and someone fucking with my head

- - - Updated - - -

And pac (unborne child) I got nothing except feet first

- - - Updated - - -

“As I dream in toungues” I’m in hell cause they trying to demand their way at my expense

- - - Updated - - -

Everything is off and backwards like my 1-2 Freddy coming for you 3-4 better lock your door 5-6 get a crucifix 7-8 better stay up late… 9-10 never sleep again) for the entrance of their mixtapes… does I forget his user name @Emily … are there any no sleep hats left?

- - - Updated - - -

That’s not an original it’s from nightmare on elm street

- - - Updated - - -

But Freddy vs Jason? Like we would’ve done it better

- - - Updated - - -

But we was there and who was doing and demanding what instead?

- - - Updated - - -

Nah you called him out by name… that’s how I knew about the no sleeps hats “no guns in your video” cause of we up… and when I trip sometimes it makes sense… or I’m at least trying to get to a level where no one is fucking with my head. Insanity? Like you really wanna go there? I suggest that you don’t. It’s terrifying… when I was 13? My nurses name was Sherry… she taught me how to take blood pressure

- - - Updated - - -

I was regulated by my drs and therapists where I didn’t have to take meds until mb2010

- - - Updated - - -

Someone sabotaging my health

- - - Updated - - -

Like… idk what to say other than… smh… idk what to say

- - - Updated - - -

“Them just rumors ma”

- - - Updated - - -

Like I’m at a spiritual handicap for real for real and there’s real craft being thrown around and like nah I didn’t do that and I’m sorry you you all have to now get inconvenienced by them witches too

- - - Updated - - -

I didn’t know until I woke up coming home from they really did try to shoot my vv off huh?

- - - Updated - - -



- - - Updated - - -

But just a missed Idea and like… I like music but I’m not so inclined but I love to write and obviously would still do it for free. But like as far as my creed? I was having fun… and being me and getting better. Then these bitches running around acting like im just some game ball

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah my old friends and associates and the what the fuck were they even doing is haunting me

- - - Updated - - -

I’m embarrassed how bad I got played and forgiving them so much like if I really knew what was up I wouldn’t have been friends with them at all

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want to go back and forth with the past

- - - Updated - - -

Not that one any way

- - - Updated - - -

Cause I said my brother been turning my pasta into worms since I was 7? Did they get scared or like…

- - - Updated - - -

Who deleted my account and why and I just care about the name

- - - Updated - - -

There is nothing funny about sexual assault or stalking. My family watching over me is what made me feel safe. And resolving issues with my BD

- - - Updated - - -

Pac and Big I’ll discuss but I don’t really wanna go publicly there with my families personal business - unless they really want to but I’m not prepared for them hating or not understanding me and my decisions. Or being lied to. Just trying to set the story straight cause I see there was a lot of behind my back shit

- - - Updated - - -

I had to go to the police twice for unstable woman stalking me and acting socio - that shit really does creep me out… unstable people and I’m aware cause I’m one of them but not like that… this one chick… I gave her my bf in 2001, she stepped to me and we fought on the police station lawn… I never got back with him was with another guy and she started in 2004 still acting like she some factor to me but in like 2007 she wrote my MySpace taking shit. I had to go to the police cause like guys I never even met the trick and had to ask her her name when she came up to my car talking shit to me them ran… and at the police station I didn’t even throw the first hit. And like if she still here and involved I would ask the courts they demand she be in mental treatment

- - - Updated - - -

She wrote my facebook*

- - - Updated - - -

I knew the name cause I caught her stalking my moms house all the time and found her at the pay phone at the corner of the road and asked what’s up

- - - Updated - - -

The other one belonged to 2004 after we were broke up mad long calling every phone down to my jobs… that’s when I went to the police cause how did she even know where I worked it was a temp assignment

- - - Updated - - -

There’s a good chance the stalker is a female… even though I’m not bi and never did no bi shit

- - - Updated - - -

But only a man could’ve peed all over my bed like that… let me find out you all like pedophiles and team up for real

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want to magically get married either

- - - Updated - - -

I’m tired of this opposite please protect and hearing them say forgive… like I’m tired as fuck. Like… who even fucking with me, my head, my life and why?

- - - Updated - - -

I remember tripping and a split second of asking if we could use sacred scriptures for something. And nah I’m not trying to bogard or demand the site or anything like that… just wanna write and create and learn again. Just like you all like your moments to be behind the scenes and anonymous and escape. I do too… I had this one friend that lied so much but I didn’t care she had every right to be any person she wanted to be. But I don’t want that… I just wanna deal in facts - my soul is on the line

- - - Updated - - -

Evidentially my body somehow too…

- - - Updated - - -

She said she was adopted and was half Spanish… like sure… you look just like your mom. And nah I don’t know if I’m adopted or not cause I have a registration and not birth certificate with the date I was born and the date it was filed

- - - Updated - - -

If my dad took it to his grave and my mom says no so be it. Like it makes me love them even more that I didn’t even notice BUT it makes being an obligation or burden even harder

- - - Updated - - -

So when I get my birthdays back I’m a celebrate the 26th - the 28th

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want a new name I want CLA919 though

- - - Updated - - -

Like my freak outs are humiliating… hopefully when shit is resolved I can ban that page and work off another account for big and pac and I’ll think of a name for that

- - - Updated - - -

Ban a disciple*

- - - Updated - - -

“They see me they run” in my pac voice

- - - Updated - - -

Cause leave me alone when I’m just minding my own business… don’t be a bully cause I’m not your bitch

- - - Updated - - -

To be honest I didn’t have to fight much but 2 out of 3 were on the police station lawn or across the street and the 1 that wasn’t I got arrested… but it dropped cause the manager of the diner confined it wasn’t my fault and they kept starting with us for no reason and threw firs punch. that used to be my rule… never hit first but I would antagonize a bitch to so bad at one point so they would.

“Only thing I did good was scrapping”

- - - Updated - - -

To be honest I didn’t have to fight much but 2 out of 3 were on the police station lawn or across the street and the 1 that wasn’t I got arrested… but it dropped cause the manager of the diner confined it wasn’t my fault and they kept starting with us for no reason and threw firs punch. that used to be my rule… never hit first but I would antagonize a bitch to so bad at one point so they would.

“Only thing I did good was scrapping”

- - - Updated - - -

Like cla919 been deleted from ig from and by what ever bitch it is this time… man or female and like I’m not gonna open a new one I don’t think so it’s here. This is what I do I just talk this shit out until I’m free cause I know I ain’t even do shit

- - - Updated - - -

I used to night watch in emergencies but last I thought it was us choking not being choked

- - - Updated - - -

Ray was the funniest… he was crying I don’t wanna die

- - - Updated - - -

The asking someone questions in their sleep? You can’t take that for Bible cause they probably dreaming

- - - Updated - - -

I mind my own business I’m not nosy like that…

- - - Updated - - -

Because I know how valuable privacy is

- - - Updated - - -

My failure to launch sign? Going thru phones or phone bills stacking evidence to myself… if I’m snooping I’m done just need to prove it to myself

- - - Updated - - -

Since waking up? Now I know why I’m failure to launch and that’s not to blame you that’s to heal and get it resolved so maybe one day I can

- - - Updated - - -

I lived with 4.5 guys LoL I’m just done no matter how hard it is to sleep these days

- - - Updated - - -

I still have my check list but haven’t even evaluated or updated yet… just so not there right now like I have issues deep in my soul that are important to me that are getting dismissed by the people who swear they own me or can do what ever they want to me too

- - - Updated - - -

I know what it’s like to be with someone cause you feel that you have to or that didn’t do anything wrong and I don’t want to put that feeling on anybody either…

- - - Updated - - -

It wasn’t that I didn’t love him I did just was miserable because we weren’t having sex

- - - Updated - - -

Falling out the car saying Me? Shoe? My Gma set up a profile for me on a Catholic dating sight and when I was on this one I did wonder a second but got dismissed so nah I didn’t feed in to it. My step mom used to be real mean to me so when doing her dishes every night my angel used to joke w me and say I’m Cinderella… at the point when I was shot… I just wanted a baby fuck marriage and family but deep down inside of course back then… so I’m sure it was Chris or pac or Marlin taking to keep me awake. I don’t remember shit except the cop saying that in the ambulance

- - - Updated - - -

Like trying to be me again… like I’m depressed and my room is a mess and I hate that shit… hard time even getting dressed

- - - Updated - - -

Nah I’m not trying to do no “interview with a vampire” just checking in with you hoping you can get this resolved and get them off me

- - - Updated - - -

The guy that won’t stop purposing? I don’t even hardly know him we grew up in different cities and never dated… we not compatible like that, the attraction isn’t there anymore, he’s always late and lies about how long and it’s annoying as fuck, and I realized after being around Ray that he wasn’t narcoleptic like I thought since way back when he is just a dope head and I’m not down with that.

- - - Updated - - -

Besides the fact I’m sick when ever he’s around

- - - Updated - - -

Like I wanna know why someone holds my value so low… I need someone that knows how to keep me at my best… not worst. And I’m not comfortable with a stranger on my body in the name of a god that’s not even mine popping my ear and hurting me

- - - Updated - - -

You can take love connection and keep it over there I’m out… I don’t want to meet anybody this way

- - - Updated - - -

On a before? I liked red club and yeah would’ve but now after all this everything is uncomfortable

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t like this being forced to share my body and kiss my hands shit

- - - Updated - - -

I came here to write… not talk about or fight a bunch of punk bitches I don’t even have anything to do with anymore

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want to break bread with them it makes me feel uncomfortable and like not even myself in my own body… I can’t stand that

- - - Updated - - -

Like nah… deja vu and I rather be dead… it’s against every fiber of my being

- - - Updated - - -

Get off me witch… get off me panther… since I can’t seem to check anybody but my own can somebody check them for me?

- - - Updated - - -

Panther belial like but not all painters are pyre

- - - Updated - - -

I’m Baal he vulture… not all birds are either

- - - Updated - - -

Panthers*

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not trying to learn or adapt… I just don’t want anything to do with them. Them bitches probably wolves

- - - Updated - - -

I worked hard on me and my soul and nah you can’t share or taint that… get off me… you can’t force me to sit in hell with you… I’m dead serious it’s my old friends

- - - Updated - - -

I know you have insanity in tact… can we just move on so I can try to heal and recover? Cause like our don’t remember and THEIR don’t remember? Oh hell no for real…

- - - Updated - - -

Why am I the one tortured cause they’re confused?

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t wanna be a 4 but maybe I need to a be a 4 a minute just to be protected. I’m just trying to be my best self and myself… their zone makes me so confused and sick

- - - Updated - - -

I just want to be myself pac and not forced to walk thru this feeling like them

- - - Updated - - -

They’re disrespecting my soul and my body

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not trying to change who I am… I just wanna be my best self… their demand throws me in a hell you all seen wasn’t imagined and like… I’m vexed but really my priorities are over there and not with them. My god will get them back for me… I don’t like their world and the bitch shouldn’t have been waking me up outside the courthouse to even begin with… and then to set up my step dad too? I don’t need anybody making decisions for me especially when they’re divine… it’s my soul it’s my body and I don’t want anything to do with them bitches ever again!

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t stand blurry vision pac

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t stand their religion and being forced to share my body when I don’t want to!!!

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t stand their religion and being forced to share my body when I don’t want to!!!

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t stand their religion and being forced to share my body when I don’t want to!!!

- - - Updated - - -
@DixonButts I’m anything BUT iron man

- - - Updated - - -

I rather die than have anything to do with them bitches again… they’re not even Catholic so wtf?

[A Disciple]

PAC… I wanna shut them bitches up finally and once and for all

- - - Updated - - -

Like there is nothing nice about insanity and it’s not a dream… which nightmare are you going to demand?

- - - Updated - - -

TAF It literally is the wrong god on my body now!!!! And yeah retarded any time they feel like throwing that too… pac why were you yelling retarded at me in MB?

- - - Updated - - -



- - - Updated - - -

I’m in a living hell right now physically and mentally it is beyond comprehension.

- - - Updated - - -

They can’t demand to be my god though… so how?

- - - Updated - - -

And everybody hate ME? For what?

- - - Updated - - -

Is that why they rape people? So they can own them?

- - - Updated - - -

What am I being punished for Lord?

- - - Updated - - -

Powder? I doubt it…

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want a god on my body and definitely not one that abuses me

- - - Updated - - -

Why the more they beg I shake?

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not going to them bitches, co-signing, getting judged for them either

- - - Updated - - -

She not going to make me look like her and I’m tired of them bitches kicking my ass for that twisted psych wolf… get it thru your head maggot I don’t like or date hairy senior citizens that are sick, twisted, and abusive. Why do you even want a bitch you know don’t want you back? Let alone demand a bitch

- - - Updated - - -

My body back or death… get out of it and if you can’t make them - then kill me! I want peace and comfort in my own body I been thru too much and won’t tolerate abuse - I rather be dead. Like when can I get help and protection pac?

- - - Updated - - -

We not even cut from the same clothe… why would I betray my creed to be some fake bottom bitch blow up doll abused by people like you?

- - - Updated - - -

Like them*

[Emily]

A Disciple, you asked me this ...

“Emily, are there no sleep hats left?”

But I don’t know what that means, I’m sorry

[Candy]

she wanted to know what you call your vagina
because she calls her vv
and we both curious what you call yours

- - - Updated - - -

Questions that need answers

[Truth Iscariot]

she wanted to know what you call your vagina
because she calls her vv
and we both curious what you call yours

- - - Updated - - -

I call it Candy.

[A Disciple]

@Cody _nash I love domesticated was rocking it in my car today!!!

- - - Updated - - -

My new IG is clarella919

- - - Updated - - -

I told my family if I end up chopped up in the woods somewhere from the creeper… I’m coming back for everybody LOL

[A Disciple]

@Truth iscariot got my new ig name

[A Disciple]

Got my ass kicked in sacred scriptures but it was expected.

Gone Girl

I was 25 when they said schizophrenia it was an immaculate blow
It was mass hysteria as the tears busted out my eyes and just flowed
Sometimes when Im alone in my car driving, I just cry
I was never prepared for the inside out just watching my brain die
I’m still in here… it’s me I’m still me
Talking myself through all the illusions of insanity
Diagnosis came firm on bipolar 1 and PTSD
There is no cure for the disease that kills you socially
You know when you get drunk, black out, and wake up to hear all the stupid shit you done?
It’s pretty much the same thing, only I ain’t even do irresponsible shit to cause it – so I just run
Run girl… so fast and so free… runaway or running… from the sickness inside you can’t see
I did everything the drs told me to do… but I still get sick
Sober 8 years and finally said fuck you, you psych prick
I’m faded… it’s easier faded so bitch fuck a 1 I’m on 2
Because sometimes angels are all I see when psych has me tied to the bed too
It is especially hard to be tied down since my assault
But I guess it’s easier for the drs to manage the ward then they act like it’s our fault
Most times its to my quiet secret place I soar to just get some rest
And I think back to 16 when I was his vest…
I was covering him would it have been best if I had gone then
Cause all this shit that takes place after I can’t deal even back to way back when
Cause ever since, I’ve always been on the outside looking in
The meds… you wanna talk about the meds, the weight, and the fog
Cause I actually get better advice listening to DMX when he talking about the snake, rat and the dog
It’s liberating once you learn to not give a fuck about what anyone think or says
But it’s all so superficial like sweating these 50lbs I gained from the meds
If I had Alzheimer’s would they laugh less, cause it’s progressive
I can’t remember shit without a list now and some things I become so obsessive (like writing)
My biggest fear is what happens when my mind is gone, they can’t bring me back, and my body is still here
I know Jesus know… you know sometimes I am just sitting and I feel a presence and out my eye I drop one tear
I’m just trying to make it all clear and I can paint that other world with words - and you know even sometimes it makes sense?
Then I remind myself you just gone girl… don’t get caught up in the pretense

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah when my PTSD go off I just maniac text…

- - - Updated - - -

It annoys me more than you all… trust lol

[A Disciple]

My ig was deleted when I was on it tripping saying facts, facts, facts posting the pee on my bed, the breakfast I never made being eaten in my home, the wires in my plants etc… not sure if that did it or it was when I said my brother been turning my pasta into worms since I was 7…

- - - Updated - - -

In therapy most people always talk about the fucked up childhoods they had… my childhood was amazing… it’s my adult years that are fucked up!!! 2010 to be specific and I know woman get over it everyday and I feel arrogant or selfish or like too privy cause I just can’t… idk how to just let it go yet. 8 out of 10 woman you meet have been assaulted and like… that in itself is just too much for me to deal with too…

- - - Updated - - -

To be honest… it just reminded me… not a matter for police and I’m fine with that too

- - - Updated - - -

Mad reposts but also being sick mentally and confused.. accusing the wrong people cause I couldn’t understand how… stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

Mad reports*

- - - Updated - - -

The now you see me now you don’t… ok E v E… I got you - I’m just trying to figure out how

- - - Updated - - -

My old friend Bliz said to me… maybe he does it to everybody so I got the type down I think

- - - Updated - - -

It seems to me it’s more of your arena than mine to check…

- - - Updated - - -

Them split seconds of them witches though… that’s like 01-03 type though so for real… idek

- - - Updated - - -

I trust Fred… I just feel it’s a little too big for him to handle. That’s my boy for life - he saved my life!!!! His girlfriend got mad as fuck when I was playing what @Networth did with computer love. She said to me - me and him can have that life. I’m just like what you mean? I don’t want your man but he has legit flows and skills if we all wasn’t so old now. She girl I’m trying to do it for your family too… but I just left like… that is DB for me. Moving in at 9th grade, going to the alternative center that only had 100 students… moving out in 02 so not being there so long either. It was… it was always and altercation and always a fight for me having to stick up for myself when bitches I never even met started with me.

- - - Updated - - -

“Only thing I did good was scrapping” at least back then. My brother taught me how to fight too…

- - - Updated - - -

I got mad love for a lot of people there and they know it… plenty of occasions where I can include them on something too. If it ever comes we in there guys!

- - - Updated - - -

My sister is my heart… she is going to help me write it. But I have to wait for her to retire. She’s a literal genius… director in corporate w mad heads reporting into her and mad patents and never even graduated college!

- - - Updated - - -

Hey… you… you long gone or what? My droid footage has now been deleted but I don’t think I ever laughed so hard. Your ironic scuba accident left me confused as well as the lawsuits quote. Hope you’re doing ok… I’ll never forget my old bestie almost ramming into the Mercedes’ backing up when I was telling you what DWEEB stood for. DOING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE BRINGS. Seriously… thanks for pulling me into the site. I guess the first air out was much easier with somebody talking me thru it. Nothing but best wishes for you! The last convo I remember was when they pulled my wifi when I was shopping w my mom telling you I’m worried she seems confused and then when I came back from the 3 bangs expecting you to be there and got checked. It’s all good I get it. No harm no foul but you still was cool as fuck.

- - - Updated - - -
@Cody _nash can you send me the link to domesticated again. I wanna book mark it for the car and in all my posts it’s too hard to go back and find

- - - Updated - - -

Idk how you knew my dad was an asshole mostly to most people or how you even knew not to like him (when you said that) but he died. He literally drank himself to death. He was practically my everything too… I know he’s still here. But like I just wanted to tell you that too. He took it to his grave… that’s what bothers me.

- - - Updated - - -

I know and I know… I remember that and just right now impossible. So keep doing you for real… I’m sweating these pounds from the meds too much… and I also know you weren’t that into me and dissed me HARD!!! LoL

- - - Updated - - -

It’s not what it all was about…

- - - Updated - - -

Now that I’m aware of some tricks this site can play I’m not sure if you saw it or not. It was the last song I heard before the 3 bangs… it came on the radio and I hadn’t heard it so long I was psyched and turned it up.

Listen to your Heart


YouTube Video:
Click here to view on youtube

It's like you know the key in the end
And your grin
Seals it in
With your smile
So when it begin
In sin
After all the truth within
Cause it's been a while
Look at me
Let me see your eyes
Your disguise you think is so free
What's really got me caught up
In all this switching shit… you know the touch is so me

HOOK

So tell me hero
What's the superstar shit have to do with me
Why your disguise don't quench my alibi for the darkness I love to see
Or when your coaching me
It's cute, it's strong, it's sexy
But so they say that's your game
Then dang
Bang - game tight
It still ain't right tho
You have my heart and you know it
On my knees
Begging you please
Don't make me show it

HOOK

Ain't got shit to do with dough
I hear you like a bug thrown up in my ear
But this torture done lasted for years
Not an annual year to year
Done with a smile, nod, as they cheer
But this, just to remind me of my fears
But I'm no longer scared to face him either (just did)
I made them a believer

So, what do I do?
Tick tock is ticking on the IOU and You? Betray Me?
Couldn't be!
I'm scared tho… would you?
Can I still trust you?
Like knights in shining bright armor be true?

HOOK

And this is all the shit I was going through
Trying to get to know you
The worst of you
Not the image you portrayed
Being another type chick… would I of stayed?
Obviously not…


HOOK

The most guarded so how am I the victim
My heart in your hands not even getting the attention
Not like I ever needed it before
But that's my score
Did I forget to mention
I'd lay down and die too in 2.2
No matter which disguise they can't hide their lies
I don't need to even see their eyes know no mo'
I know your true
Cause my soulmate told Im kinda like yours too
But what does it mean?
This was the last song I heard before the omega screamed
For once… I actually need the help back
But I don't get it
That still don’t' mean I regret it
Or am gonna let it
Or that I'm even gonna set it
Your heart beats too
So maybe you tell me, what's yours telling you?

- - - Updated - - -

LoL… not a matter for police like fine! SMH LMAO… didn’t even know it until the rental place called and said they wrote off the car. I was straight insane at least 6-12 months. Still spinning down.

- - - Updated - - -

I’ve had the same obgyn since I was 13… and I walked in on my appt to a new dr who came in and said “he’s been waiting for this appt” clapping his hands. It scared the hell out of me. I could’ve still had kids and never been more regular in my life now… he must’ve been the dr on call.

- - - Updated - - -

White people don’t discuss shit!!! Like… one day… idfk

[A Disciple]

Lost time… it’s an automatic that I’m a have symptoms… learning how to manage it like shit it’s all under god the way I see it. CHANGES by pac is my get right and fire and feel better song.

- - - Updated - - -

In 2010 they took that license pic and my computer said iw by itself when I was practicing belly dancing… so I’m just dealing with it wasn’t all being crazy like I thought

- - - Updated - - -

They drove me crazy intentionally it feel like… mocking all eyes on 50 and pac in my home that I didn’t even hear - the spy cam picked it up because the police wouldn’t help me and my dad wouldn’t believe me is why I had the spy cam to even begin with

- - - Updated - - -

Maggot may have deleted my ig but I still have the recordings

- - - Updated - - -

And all those police reports and hospital visits etc

- - - Updated - - -

It’s all under god I’m fine

- - - Updated - - -

But I know better than to accuse my own family again… what’s that do? Make me homeless? No friends and family then along come you? Is that the plan so some creeper savior like the pathetic scum you are come and save me and you think cause I’m so desperate I’d have anything to do with you? I mean is that what’s up with all this?

- - - Updated - - -

Cause really I can’t call it…

[A Disciple]

I like the realest killaz best though…

- - - Updated - - -

I didn’t pretend shit I never knew what was going on and mistook all visions and hallucinations as mental illness

- - - Updated - - -

Like pac really was there for me and I actually wore my bandana like that first (not to be disrespectful) but pac been there with my family a long time…

- - - Updated - - -

They confusing me… strike idgaf I’m not living under any body sick and confused and posing

- - - Updated - - -

I took a lot of my mental illness as Chris though too… I lost my box… I don’t know how he feel and yeah I STILL go to his grave when I’m upset cause I know for fact he’s an Angel

- - - Updated - - -

At least let me be me and judged for me and only me

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t wanna feel like them dumb bitches or manage flows… like I know what’s up it just make me sick and in a hell real easy… and I’ll fight to stop that. I don’t deserve it and we tugged war to that album - so what does that mean?

- - - Updated - - -

Why am I the one in hell though?

- - - Updated - - -

Ok I’ll tell you you tell me… why I know pac is my angel…

Bandana, song pain, train station in Harlem, from a spot he scared me and I ran and it got busted, walked out of serious illness at the hospital cause they were taking too long, had a dream I was in the passenger seat and got shot 5x, mb2910 when he was yelling at me to wake me up too, until the end of time song, ceds tattoo, better off alone video, hello from the other side video, paper on my dads hospital wall… just a lot

- - - Updated - - -

I need help cause someone really kicking my ass on some 3rd eye shit and I have no defense

- - - Updated - - -

There’s a picture of pac in the sites banner sooooo

- - - Updated - - -

Like… I’m sure who ever is aware about you run and you done can appreciate having more back than this… like I’m legit mental - is it really necessary to hear voices in my head or roof? Why I have to hear them ask forgiveness and stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

You all really wanna try to peg me with multiple personalities too cause that’s what it feels like everytime someone wanna swear I wanna flow

- - - Updated - - -

And they didn’t know waking me up after the rape after I stole the car didn’t make me hit insanity then so they go and do it again? And who let them?

- - - Updated - - -

Nah they put me thru some real shit…

- - - Updated - - -

I’m the only one that DOESNT know what’s going on!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

It’s cool… I’m a try to sleep

- - - Updated - - -

10 split seconds just all add up that quick… click click click and I’m done clicking I just will do what ever it takes to be and feel like myself in my own environment and zones (if that makes sense)

[Cody Nash]

Here ya go @A Disciple https://soundcloud.com/codynashional.../s-WiGDRQUVbhl