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Thread: I'm fine

  1. #1
    Better. Kuhn's Avatar
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    I'm fine

    Now usually i dont be doin this
    Think up a plan an never go through with it
    Im lightin the lighter thats lightin the fluid
    I'm fightin with fire despite how i do it
    I'll fight just to prove that I'm right when I move
    Like righteousness go right to the truth.
    Got sight in the booth when I'm writin to you
    Never pissed off just hyping the mood.
    You might wanna fight when I write what I do,
    I been ready to die hope you're ready to shoot.
    Yeah just take me out, I'm savin face by facin doubt
    I've faced a mountain of adversity
    it hurts to see the clouds
    I mean the peak is just a goal but I get high
    To forget the lows
    I'd be lyin if I denied I wanna die before I'm old.
    I been goin through some shit that I've never fuckin told
    So just know I got my reasons even breathin takes a toll.
    I'm just wasting time I find that smokin clears my mind,
    I'll be jokin till I'm chokin while I'm focused on these lines.
    I use this music to escape there's no meanin you can find,
    Cuz if you ask if I'm alright I'll just reply that I'm fine
    I.P.

  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: I'm fine

    short and sweet! I dig it man. your flow and multies all on point as they once were. Refreshing to see another familiar face posting something man, and I can even hear you rappin' this shit in my head on one of your videos when I'm readin' it with that flow of yours man haha.. I think a lot of us can relate to that last line. No body wants to admit they ain't fine, especially during some crazy ass times like these we're in my guy!!! I ain't got much bad to say. I'd love to see more effort and lengthier topical style pieces with even more thought and depth to them to be real with ya. Feels like we should get an SS season going soon for real!!!

    Much love YDK, good to see you here.

  3. #3
    Better. Kuhn's Avatar
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    Re: I'm fine

    Quote Originally Posted by Cody Nash View Post
    short and sweet! I dig it man. your flow and multies all on point as they once were. Refreshing to see another familiar face posting something man, and I can even hear you rappin' this shit in my head on one of your videos when I'm readin' it with that flow of yours man haha.. I think a lot of us can relate to that last line. No body wants to admit they ain't fine, especially during some crazy ass times like these we're in my guy!!! I ain't got much bad to say. I'd love to see more effort and lengthier topical style pieces with even more thought and depth to them to be real with ya. Feels like we should get an SS season going soon for real!!!

    Much love YDK, good to see you here.
    I appreciate it bro, this actually was meant for a video but figured I'd post up here lol I gotta get a good concept going for a new topical style verse next
    I.P.

  4. #4
    Soule
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    Re: I'm fine

    Fun little keystyle here. Smooth flow. Nothing much to it. Just an experienced writer brushing off the dust and flexing his rhymes. Look forward to more in depth material from you, old friend.

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: I'm fine

    Now usually i dont be doin this
    Think up a plan an never go through with it
    Im lightin the lighter thats lightin the fluid
    I'm fightin with fire despite how i do it
    I'll fight just to prove that I'm right when I move
    Like righteousness go right to the truth.
    Got sight in the booth when I'm writin to you
    Never pissed off just hyping the mood.
    You might wanna fight when I write what I do,
    I been ready to die hope you're ready to shoot.

    Nice smooth flow as usual Dayday. The pace seems right, the words fit well, the pictures painted well.

    Yeah just take me out, I'm savin face by facin doubt

    Very nice.

    I've faced a mountain of adversity
    it hurts to see the clouds
    I mean the peak is just a goal but I get high
    To forget the lows

    I like the wording, but the rhyme and flow threw me off for a tad there and it was noticed by the syllable counter in my head, thats not to say that everything has to be entirely balanced, but I stagnated here Dayday. Idk, it could be me.

    I'd be lyin if I denied I wanna die before I'm old.

    Ugh, love that line.
    I been goin through some shit that I've never fuckin told
    So just know I got my reasons even breathin takes a toll.

    Beautiful.

    I'm just wasting time I find that smokin clears my mind,
    I'll be jokin till I'm chokin while I'm focused on these lines.
    I use this music to escape there's no meanin you can find,

    [B]Top lines right here[B]

    Cuz if you ask if I'm alright I'll just reply that I'm fine

    Last line is good but just a little anti climatic lol.
    I see that it rhymes, I see that its got its central meaning down pat, but because its the outro,
    I don't know, I want to feel something more. I want to be more moved by your last words.
    And maybe that last line isnt meant to pack a punch, I get that, but its just sitting in some middle place atm
    balancing well but it could be flying higher, know what I mean? I want to leave with your outro in my mind, lingering.....


    Great job Dayday, nice to see you're still writing, still holding that beat well, still allowing that beautiful vulnerability to make us all feel that we certainly aren't alone.

    Pleasure to read and feed,

    Thank you

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