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Thread: Beauty's Only Skin Deep

  1. #1
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Beauty's Only Skin Deep

    . . Beneath the skins surface lies inner Qualities and Strengths
    that I find much more attractive than whats Bottled in a Scent.
    That Lost Innocence inside us all’s Worth its Own Weight,
    and Beside the doves Cry’s, I feel ive found my Soul Mate.
    As our minds eyes Correlate, Im in heaven, & really though,
    Id rather date a woman’s intelligence, than breasts of silicon.
    personality Steals The Show. . laughters Amazing, and Yet. .
    I find myself held Captive by the Hair of a Blazing Brunette.
    some Swoon At a female’s eyes, anothers touch is to long for
    but if laughters the best medicine… in her ive found my cure.
    that sense of humours perfect, & she appreciates the days sun
    so rather than divulge over beauty. . we indulge in conversation.
    It feels Great Just to of found ’her’, without her id of never lived,
    Plus weve so much in common. .
    We double checked to make sure she’s not some long-lost relative.
    but There It Is. . my opinion, you can take it how you want son,
    But if you judge a book by its cover,


    who knows what your missing out on.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  2. #2
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Replied tp Fgee's, Snakeyes, Born To Kill etc

    Did about eight before i posted this. Just something i keyed up between classes in college.

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  3. #3
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Real nice drop...

    Way ta justify your ugly girl! LOL!

    Sorry, couldn't resist that.

    Good, dope piece.

    Nice flow, good vocab.
    Even better emotion and meaning.

    Too bad everyone doesn't see shit this way.

    Peace

  4. #4
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    This was a dope piece man ... I liked the concept ... Scheme was on point ... Imagery ... A lot of stand out lines ...

    Id rather date a woman’s intelligence, than breasts of silicon.

    That's the one that stood out above the rest for me tho man ... I thought that was really dope ... Really deifined ur piece a lot ... Dope verse overall ... Keep doin' you man ... Peace

    A.i

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    *Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit

  5. #5
    Handcuffs
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    yeah, you must have one of them fat bitches huh?
    just playin'
    real dope piece though
    7.5/10

  6. #6
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    I Loved This Piece...Speakin ur Mind..Beauty on the outside only lasts for so long....

    but There It Is. . my opinion, you can take it how you want son,
    But if you judge a book by its cover,
    who knows what your missing out on.
    ^Couldnt of ended Better

    You Down to Collab Sometime ?
    Hit me up if u Are
    Stay Up

  7. #7
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    it was aiight, basic rhyme structure worked for you, never eally messed up anywhere, it was tight, you explained the emotion well, but it lacked emotion...get what im sayin...its liek thatsmay be how u feel, bnut hte rawness of the emotion didn't coem through, keep workin on your wordplay, and try to capture the raw feeling that makes that kind of rhym good
    Bittersweet

  8. #8
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Roflmao
    Sure thing newbie. I doubt you even know yet what rhyme patterns / multi's / internals and writers are = /

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  9. #9
    snakeyes
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    yo man, couldn't have flow it better, this was one of the most relevant pieces i herd in years. It seems that you have a good perspective on finding the right girl. No matter if the apperance is not your choice, the bonding between yall is far more precious. I feel you when you explained how a good conversation is all you need to have a good time. You tight cuz you flow through what you sense, feel, hear, taste. tight.

  10. #10
    snakeyes
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    Beauty stands in the eye of the beholder.

    Originally posted by snakeyes
    yo man, couldn't have flow it better, this was one of the most relevant pieces i herd in years. It seems that you have a good perspective on finding the right girl. No matter if the apperance is not your choice, the bonding between yall is far more precious. I feel you when you explained how a good conversation is all you need to have a good time. You tight cuz you flow through what you sense, feel, hear, taste. tight.

  11. #11
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Yup. Thats the 'writers voice' aspect of an open mic you just touched up on. How i get my point across and noticed while still using internals / multi's / making it rhyme / sustaining the flow. Nice too see you picked up on that.

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  12. #12
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    Now im missing out on Cam's writings. Ever since i started working i never had the time to read open mics. But here i am again..


    I love how the way Cam makes his writing well-elaborate in such a unique passionate approach. It's like having a painting with thousands of pictures on it...and as you see it for a long period of time...it would form into a whole new image. The inner meaning of the piece had a huge possibility to impact others way of seeing life. Its like reading a story book...at the end there's a moral to it. In short, im amazed by it.

    Reflecting on circumstances where their ignorance affects how they judge things or people, sometimes it gets overboard. "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder". I still believe that no matter what you look like as long as you are you and not a mask-wearing being. Inner beauty would reflect through out.

    Cam's piece held a certain aspect where i think its really romantic and at the same time brilliant. By using words of intelligence, it made the writing speaks for itself.

    I liked it.

  13. #13
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    ^ you realise i wrote this for you, right?

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  14. #14
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    hey don't dis my criticism...i know what im talkin about, shit, why don't u go critique my open mics then say somethin
    Bittersweet

  15. #15
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    ^ I have done. Baron God = Me.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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