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Thread: the industry

  1. #1
    LISTEN
    Guest

    the industry

    im no poet, but please dont critcize
    spittin gods message, jus got baptized
    most niggas be holding their nuts like they jus got circuscized
    half of rap is just slavery in the modern day
    all i gotta say is pass da cavarsciea(a bustaryhmes song)
    orders are given to rappers everyday
    u go platium, the suits take half your pay
    but im not hear to jus blaze da whites
    or jus type about our civil rights
    all i wanna do is write
    but im sittin on this computer.....i gotta type
    gettin fresh ideas..... il wait til de ripe.

  2. #2
    HaZy
    Guest
    open mic / poetry/off the top of my mind

    short lil piece kinda off the poetic path in some parts but then revived in the offlines

    for a first poetry piece i will off some advice

    your theme was great you may want to add some depth or description words to help the reader become more involved in your piece

    however with a few more from you

    we could see something great in the future.
    5-10
    hazy

  3. #3
    LISTEN
    Guest
    uppin, please speak on diss,!!

  4. #4
    LISTEN
    Guest
    uppin

  5. #5
    K.T: The Assassin ~ladie_streetz~'s Avatar
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    maybe you would do better off by pickin a certain topic to begin with and doin a poem off that. i thought this was going to be about the rap inductry or something when i saw the title. your structure for the poem needs work also, you need to use stronger vocab. i advise you to find a subject that interests you, then make a poem about it, add a little emotion to it also add a little more length to it next time.
    THE FAMILY.

  6. #6
    !.VeRbZ.!
    Guest
    nice peice felt the imagery creativity was fine......complexity was good cud of been better but good ...keep it up ill be looking for more peices from u....oh yeah and i also liked how the title matched the peice...and go hit up ma peice honestly its intitled Brotherly Love

  7. #7
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    ^I hope you're banned
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

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