The Lost Rose

[Mythical]

The Lost Rose by Mythical

Tormented thoughts and rattled minds stand between the voices heard
Impossible nots and would be truths are whispered within every word
A king of hearts is broken not but turn into an ebony shell
Tears shed for when souls part and his only angel fell

Memories reflect with hearts and hands linked in familiar bliss
What the wise consider foolish and what fools will reminisce
Caressed lips so intense, blood begins to boil and sets souls to fire
When passion turns to lust, with lovers quenching their every desire

Time strides with each petal’s passing unto tender bloom
Insatiable appetites for the drink of love yet to be consumed
Yet when gloom consumes the days, shadows shall dance at twilight
The final dagger buried when even anguish befriends the night

Burdened words beg for a quick guess and a slimmer second chance
With impressions that speak the death of a wilted romance
Shackles tip the scales and weigh the powers of will
Flawless in the design, whole hearts unworthy enough to steal

Beside the fallen whisperer travels the lonesome figure
A final petal turned descends as forlorn memories conjure
A tear cascades from her lonesome eyes as they set astray
As beauty does decay and when love dies, only to fade away

Caught within boundaries of stone, the stranger waits to listen
To bind thyself to the purity of love, not by it’s definition
Footsteps echo through the emptiness to the pathway home
While the dear departed rests in peace by his forever carved tombstone


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post3929606
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270804

[Mariposa Latina]

that was 1 of the best i read in a long time--very ez on the eyez if u catch me
i like the flo and ur imagery the best cuz it was deep and heartfelt but still ez 2 understand
i really liked the title cuz u weren't sure quite what 2 xpect...
keep postin cuz i think u got dis...

chk my OM and leave sum feed if u getz the chance, plz...gracias!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270190

[Muweed]

owhhh.....
easy huh....i can feel it

[Mythical]

Thanks guys (will do Mari), uppin for feedback.

[Sincerly]

This was a pretty good text. Great use of the english language, you express yourself in an elegant manner, think your choice of words matches the topic quite good aswell.
Personally I prefer some more rhyming but thats just a matter of taste..

Peace.

[Mythical]

Thanks Sincerly.

Uppin for feedback.

[Eccentric.]

Great Piece I Think..Vocab Was Nice...Flow Was Near Perfect..I Was Feelin The Topic And The Emotion Overall It Was A Good Piece Nothin Really Bad To Say About It

[Spoken Deity]

there is so much poential for this verse... LIKE WHOA>.. grr....
first off, you need more original imagery. A lot of shit was used or cliche. Stay away from that as much as possible. Throw in some interal rhymes that add to the intelligent of the rhyme scheme. Not bad at all dawg. Good stuff. enjoy

[Mythical]

Yeah Spoken, I know it wasn't the most original thing I've written, but it's what came to me at the time. I'll be droppin another piece soon, so see if my creativity has gotten any better ok?

Appreciate the comments nevertheless guys.

Uppin.

[Mythical]

Uppin again for feedback.

[L06IK]

nice man