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Thread: True Love

  1. #1
    Ex.Orb
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    True Love

    see this chick whose a no name played me real nasty
    we talked for months and she told me that she needed to have me
    i believed her games and thought she was the one
    she just wasn't a botty call, but very nice and fun
    she introduced me to her parents and her syblings
    we even did a rap, i wrote the lines and she did the singing
    i trusted this girl with all my heart, i even gave it to her
    i ain't gonna lie, i loved her, we were in love, ya we were
    i gave her a gem for valentines day, a big ass diamond
    she hugged and kissed me for it, the girl even started cryn'
    that was the first time we fucked and she stole my virginity
    along with that, the girl stole all my motherfucking dignity
    we continued to talk but not like before, only on a regular basis
    she didn't wanna see me no more, so i had to go to her oasis
    i went up to her door, and heard some wird noises, screamin
    i knocked the door down, immediatly when i entered,i got hit by cemen
    the shit blinded me, like i was blinded by her beauty and love
    who couldn't love her, she was an angel, pure like a dove
    when i got my sight back, i couldn't believe my eyes
    all the shit she told me about being faithfull were lies
    she was straddled on the guy, scared ass fuck when she saw me
    she broke down in tears and got up naked to flee
    i left heartbroken, crying to my car, cuz i lost me # one
    i loved her so much, she was supposed to give birth to my son
    all this bullshit of her not wanting to talk to me was unveiled
    she was fucking my cuzin, my emotional wounds will never heal
    i never talked to this girl anymore, but she is the one i think of
    cuz out of all the others, she was my first real true love


    My firt OM alone. tell me wat u think.

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    OSLO, NORWAY
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    Hmm, if this is your first piece its ok, but u need to incorporate more rhymes and try to avoid the old cliches like

    "who couldn't love her, she was an angel, pure like a dove"

    Next time , try to write shorter with more complex lines.

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