Good Luck, Mr Christopher Goggins.

[Issue]

Im not really a fan of the whole "Dude, that was awesome, & this was perfect, & that was stupendous." Style of feedback, I myseld can see numerous things of which I should be critisised for in this piece, I just dont think Jon Dagel wants me to see them lol,


Thanks Engivale, & I see what you mean by the line breaks & stuff, I have this thing were everything has to look nice & neat, it is an enemy at times, thanks anyway man, if you have a piece you want fed just leave a link or Ill see what I come across, I'll hit the one in your sig up soon as I can, too, probably tonight.

[Soule]

Yup. I dont care much for feed. I like reading peices though.

[P. Mortuus]

I liked this. NOt letting your form down at all and it is buliding to be quite a comeback in this section. I liked the way you started the piece especially, like a story na mean, good narrating skills were shown throughout and this kept me interested plus i found your flow to be good and steayd and i;m not sure but i think it was your previous piece i had said that extra rhymes could be used for flow support, may not have been but this piece did have extra rhymes which supported the flow. The main flaw i would say is the visual intimidation lol, you could break up into smaller chunks to make it easier on the eye. Not very very important though, other than that little niggle, in was a very good piece indeed, Stay up^.

[_Lyrics]

cool, i seen alot of inside multis that blended in nicely with the flow, it made it go smooth even with the structure being in a form like that. alote of poetical insight, i read the title and i thought this was going to be a spoof, but it turned out really deep, a curse, im unsure of though, im not sure if alot of people understood the storyline, but it seemed to me that mr. christopher goggins was a bat and this was a deepening epic in his eyes of being attacked and confronted by the world around him. brought a whole new point of view into play. and before the satanists that raised the bat to use it in sacrifice, goggins flew away in an escape attempt because he knew wat was poppin off on the real, so they released the dogs to get'em which was fucked lol. nice plot, the metaphorical display caught my eye on the real.

[Issue]

I love how you read this, man, I love how people can grasp certain aspects of things & read them. I hate people writing in code so people interperate things every other way, but the way people read things like this in their own way, I find that a lot more epic than any piece I've ever read, thanks a lot.

& thank Baron, once again the whole structure came into play, I just like it looking neat, I'll work on that, any help would be great for me though, advise me on how I could change that?