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Thread: Baptized By Fire (feat. lw truth lw & Dominance)

  1. #1
    Vegeta™
    Guest

    Baptized By Fire (feat. lw truth lw & Dominance)

    Baptized By Fire
    -Feat. lw truth lw & Dominance




    Crime Boss Mario, and his newest addition to his hit men speak.

    Mario-
    “A Spic that’s overdue with my money I want his lying tongue in my hand
    Macro-
    I’m quick to pursue this cunning bastard, the devils work young where he stand.
    Mario-
    That’s what I like to hear you'll find him more than likely shacked up with a whore.
    Macro-
    From your mouth to my ear, I will ensure this man damned by stacks a mile offshore.
    Mario-
    Hey if they’re any evidence of him fucking that bitch bring her back here
    Macro while leaving-
    A Liar damned a woman, I will seize her, and if theres struggle I settle with fear.”

    The flashback of his first assignment ends.
    Just then a ghastly image of Lamar blackstocks face flashed
    Crime boss Marco Kirkpatrick awoke in a gasp
    In his withered old age his spirit had been Conquered and smashed
    For the first time he was in awe of his actions could he have done bad?
    Simply astonished, arrogant in reason for a murderous plot.
    Why question now of all times, for his own loyalty he fought.
    Looking around seeing all these empty possessions
    Solid with presence but hollow with essence.
    Meaning lost far before riches and wealth only left to dwell.
    Life of this powerful being, illusion of great. Nothing better than cells.
    His room resembled his heart numb and Cold on the inside
    Icy blue sheets and curtains gave Chill through your spine
    Marco sat deep in thought of his present and his past
    He slipped into a daydream and a flashback back to the power clash.

    He flashes back.
    “Mario I have done nothing short of impossible tasks, your affection is worth.
    Knowing of my future to come I still put on this mask, was it fate from birth?
    You come to me with nonsense and foolishness in my old age
    You’re so fucking lucky I don't rage as I did in the olden days
    When you are no longer, who else run this dynasty you have made.
    I’m the only one who has slaved, your problems I made my pay.
    Dynasty you say, haha you won't use speech craft to throw me from my throne
    I'll rule till death even if I have to rule alone
    Throwing is such nonsense I wouldn’t trouble you with such words.
    In his late years my expense has been his benefit, control at his age is absurd.
    You feel as if I owe do you not? You expect me to hand you over my empire STOP
    ...your damned speaking I should have left you with the rest of your fucking nazi Mocks
    That you call friends ask me what you’re asking again
    I will see to your DEMISE, the unstoppable end
    Get out of my face now you fucking trader
    You think your worthy of succeeding me?
    You nothing more than a glorified German gladiator
    The things said are nothing but faulty ignorance you fight.
    Statements throwing away history, only now my temper you excite
    You stupid old fool, arrogance has gotten the best of your vesting sight.
    Your so-called empire would shatter if it weren’t for my everlasting might!
    I would kill thoughts of disowning me, as well as the body they posses.
    Such fucking insults would draw me into putting that mind to rest.”

    Marco reached into his pocket for his weapon of choice
    A silenced 9mm he shot Mario in his throat and said cruelly please don't raise your voice
    He pushed Mario to the floor the fleeing crime boss crawled to the door
    Over a bear skin rug the blood of the Italian poured Marco pulled the chord
    Two heated shots to the skull he whispered you old foul you didn't have to rot

    Suddenly Macro opens his eyes again, enduring these flashbacks going by.
    The room still so cold, tears of blood that drip from my eyes.
    Have I shed enough, or is this destiny really where my soul lies.
    The thoughts attack my mind, violence was always my way about.
    Stout enough my cause but was reasoning brought on by the payout.
    I imagine nothing more of my future, my heart beats always with pain.
    Would our fates be the same...if only sane enough for anger to retain?
    I am alone, my helpless soul with no longer a hard barrier of protection.
    I hate my own company, my angers infection, I am only Mario’s reflection.
    Haven’t life left to carry on my bones are brittle my breaths short
    My mind is the only thing functioning correctly is my mind I’m a zombie of sorts
    A shell of my former self a shadow of what was the past.
    Many a time I’ve slip flown out of the reapers grasp
    But my grease has dried up I’m stuck in this spot of the pan
    Frying till I’m dying just like Mario I’m a foolish old man.

    Entering the room while the old man is sweating sitting up in bed.
    Funicci comes swift from a night’s assignment full of rage
    Astonishingly he knows everything I knew at almost half the age.
    The reeking smell of death lingers on his jacket when he enters.
    With a Blood stained attitude he’s taken many tasks but they've left their splinters.
    He is determined to take the family, he’s excellent in many ways.
    But no matter the skill nor pay, nothing out stays the experience of many days.


    "Maybe we should take a walk old man, I have something to present.
    I surpass you in every aspect, and I expect no fucking resent.
    So quick to think of me hit, your anger results in nothing to come.
    This delusion you have of me slit, make no real life progress of my mind to numb.
    There you go talking nonsense you became old and foolish
    I can put it like this, I can make you disappear quietly or bring torture ghoulish.
    Listen son, your threats mean nothing to me trader be as trader go.
    Fuck with my empire, just leave, trader reap what a trader sow.
    I will never forgive, I will never forget you bastard time for you to go.
    This steel will be the last of you, This lead is simply a test of faith now I sew."


    The former crime boss’s son enters, Raged.
    Loud, a thundering power storm roars through the office door.
    One quick decision left funicci in a bloody mess all over the tiled floor.
    The minds racing, the hearts fight to catch up with this event.
    So quick one bullet was dispersed. And one underground life was spent.

    Mario’s son Looks up and shoots Macro as well.
    “You fool, you've fallen trap to this captivated murder rap.
    I die now an old man, your life yet to live with this death's burden strapped.
    Long nights of the family business, your father was not only a friend.
    He was family now the trend has been passed and we shall meet again.
    The pits of hell we will sit and discuss the past where we strived.
    We trashed our respect. And never forget the pain of how we died.
    Now you’re a victim, death on the horizon, staring into eyes of desire.
    Blistering horror, the pain you give returns, when you’re baptized by fire.”











    ...
    Last edited by Vegeta™; July 3rd, 2007 at 01:42 PM

  2. #2
    Vegeta™
    Guest

  3. #3
    Vegeta™
    Guest

    Re: Baptized By Fire (feat. lw truth lw & Dominanc

    Feed this please.

  4. #4
    Vegeta™
    Guest

    Re: Baptized By Fire (feat. lw truth lw & Dominanc

    Bump for Feed....

  5. #5
    Vegeta™
    Guest

    Re: Baptized By Fire (feat. lw truth lw & Dominanc

    uuuuuuuuuuupppppppppp...........

    feed leave links if you like i will feed them as well.

  6. #6
    Innovator.
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Age
    37
    Posts
    3,990
    Battle Record
    1-1

    Re: Baptized By Fire (feat. lw truth lw & Dominanc

    This was alright. I felt it could've been shorter though because a lot of stanzas had lines that didn't cause the storyline to progress at an engaging pace, but instead full of repetitive word usage and left the storyline appearing stagnant at times. I also have no idea who wrote what, but each stanza seemed to be written by the same person to me. The imagery and portrayal of your story was okay, but again, the longwinded storyline and the simplistic rhyme scheme didn't make this an enjoyable read. I wasn't fully engrossed in this to be honest. I had to read some stanzas over again to make sure that I was getting it completely. I think more concise wording would be more effective. Long pieces aren't bad unless it could've been shortened with a more polished writing style -- and I think that would've been the case here. Good effort.. alright piece.
    AI. Legendary.
    19x HOF. Seven Titles. 50.

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