(The N.)Ntalek vs.(N.A.)Spacious Mayne

[Ntalek]

Topic: Homage To The Poor
lines: 20-40
due: 2morrow midnight
Check ASAP

[Ntalek]

Check. and g/l

[Spanche]

i guess i gotta rush to finish then goodluck and i wouldn't mine getting this moved to SS check with Tim

[Ntalek]

2 hrs. Spicous.

Homage. TO THE POOR.

His mouths dry. I see him he’s as trusty as I
The pain disdain, when the liquor drains it’s hurting his eyes
His smirk is disguise. To see the evil cup when it rise.
No couple of guys it’s only one bottle he thinking about I.

Why? Pour when he can sip. Just one pint no need for a
A couple of fifths. He spoon with it so he lean with a couple
Of dips. Back in the day he use to roll up and trip. But now
He always gritting his teeth and grunting his lips. Some of the
Slip but he stood tall only as tall as the same boulder he slipped of.
Lips talk, but don’t say much. He lays tucked under the same
Boulder he flame up. Telling his boys flame up. So they tie
Their arms like a murderous strangler and stick needles in their
Veins until there brain’s bust.. Everyday the same stuff. He told
Me. I felt like the little child I once was when my mom would
Hold me. It was either that or the fact that I’m feeling the swisher
That’s when he took off his hat and start killing the liquor. It’s then
I felt like him exactly when my feelings they mixed it. The thought’s
Started to attack me. Process of healing, enlisted. Realistic. Visions.
In a Instant. Peripheral. Distance. Wishing. Waiting like my old mans
Old man fishing. It a boat only seen by the sun in it’s persistence.
And Son. I use to be in your position. They come. But guess what ?
They’ll only be there for a minute. It’s all a joke they laugh cause
They ‘re there for a gimmick. Once he spoke upon my life I knew
He was on business. In 2 minutes he talked about all the zone flipping.
And damn near taught me how to own business. But more like
Taught me how to mind my own business. As his tones grips.
The end of the bottle grabbed off of his firm hip. Last call for alcohol
As his lips gripped the earned twist I’m tossing the end of the blunts
Tip. When he brings the bottle down his mouth twist. Twitch. Twitch.
He’s nod’s and the bottle drop’s. his body flops. As the tilt’s killing thee.
I paid my respects for murdering his memories

Homage. TO THE POOR.

[Spanche]

I walk my final path
No longer will i ponder on the smoke filled hills
or feel brother wind's caress with an evening chill
soil once barren was fed by my parents
will be shaped to the white man apperance
Trees of old where fabled stories where told
never spoke of this demon mans hold
So now we wonder weak and cold


We Were Once At Home

Father sky why does water drop from your eyes
children will fear that you won't stop crying
and the trails will fail to guide to our new home
oh i understand great one you don't want us to go
winds change you know and bring a new
land for our people to grow and go through
the same thing we did but i can't help but miss
where i was birthed and worked our earth
so i'll stay here until the rain has cleared
and pace back and forth
along the trail of tears

http://www.pbs.org/weta/thewest/reso...660/sbfull.gif

[Messiah.]

Hmm, well this was a good battle and this is how i saw it...

Ntalek, you had a good verse, a nice length and flow to it, your rhymescheme was good you some nice multi's in there. You had some decent imagery and emotion was good enough, overall i have to say this was a good drop.
Spicious, your verse was nice also it had nice emotion and imagery about it aswell and your rhymescheme was ok, the thing wrong with your verse is the lack in length which really killed it for me, if this had have been longer this probably would have won you the battle. Unfortunbately it didn't
Vote-Ntalek. The reason was because spicious' verse lacked in length which didnt do the piece justice so Ntalek got this with a nice verse.

[SmokaJoka]

Vote - Ntalek
Reason:
Ntalek seemed to put forth way more effort honestly....Spicous seemed to have dropped a half assed verse or something....the vocabulary wasn't that great and the rhymescheme wasn't either....the only thing that made it seem like it was professionally written was the picture...other than that...I liked Ntalek's story for the most part...he hit home with good imagery...emotion was ok....but overall the vote goes just based on who I see tried harder just from reading

[Ntalek]

appreciate the honest votes...leave links..they will be hit..

[Ntalek]

TopS...

[Laureate]

Ntalek won this despite his god awful grammar, you sacrificed coherence and changed tenses to things that didn't make sense just to make them rhyme, Spicious came alright, but the story wasn't interesting enough or packed enough into his short drop.

Vote Ntalek
please peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-338474.html

[Infinate Skillz.]

V/Ntalek
Reasoning:
Because his vocab was better then Spacious', and his story line was more interesting then Spacious', his story kinda bored me, and it didn't really fit much of his flow, nor imagery..Ntalek had imagery, ok vocab, and his flow wasn't too bad neither..So congrats on that, meh battle here, but Ntalek gets my vote here.

V/Ntalek

[Diversed]

I'm going to go for forum, I've sen better from you spicious, but this battle was alright. The vocbulary very well suited your piece forum, I enjoyed the rhyme scheme in both pieces, and the emotion in spic carried away, but i enjoyed forum'd more..