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Thread: Frozen Hourglass, Eternal

  1. #1
    Newbie Aeon''s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    England
    Posts
    25
    Battle Record
    1-1

    Frozen Hourglass, Eternal

    Frozen Hourglass

    seductive murmurs meet her ears
    carried forth upon invisible wings,
    time lies dead in the grains of sand
    now littering the wasteland within,
    crafting a desert...
    from some well timed words

    "time flies when your having fun"

    but what if we clip it's feathers?
    could we stand in embrace,
    hand in hand a second longer?
    yet invisible tyrants tear us apart
    bound down to a ordinary existence,
    the hearts chambers are forced...
    ...into loading a fresh bullet,
    to threaten away the pain & anxiety
    with a revolver of hope and desire
    making safe passage to her kiss

    The hourglass tossed onto it's side
    torn between too much and too late
    but otherwise forming a compromise,
    with the glass bridge to shield both
    and capture the moment within a glass frame

    Eternal

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Age
    31
    Posts
    1,411
    Battle Record
    12-5

    Re: Frozen Hourglass, Eternal

    Can't believe this got slept on so much lol,
    sooo overall I enjoyed this poem dude... it was detailed
    with the right word choice... and the placement was dope also
    good flow, this was a fluent piece which always makes things
    more enjoyable lol.... so sorry for such short feed... im kinda busy
    feeding other pieces.. but a little is better than none..

  3. #3
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    3,107
    Battle Record
    8-8

    Re: Frozen Hourglass, Eternal

    I havent been on here in forever! I thought that this poem was really good! The description and the content of this was just great. I thought your structure was soild and it made for a nice emotioal filled read!

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