life of an outcast

[Jayo5jugalocrim3]

Life of an outcast, so lonley an cold/
pops want around much, muthafucka made me feel sold/
like i want good enough, he was better off nuttin in a cup/
donatin to the sperm bank, musta didnt think of his conciquences/
leavein his son behind to stay on his grind/
lord give me sign that everythangs good/
lifes hard as hell, still tryna make it out the hood/
an you kno i try, lord you i wana die/
can't shed a tear, heart full of fear and hate/
got this burna to my head, tryna debate/
do i wana blow my head off, na nigga not today/
dont wana feel like this, still young as hell/
ducking my po cause the bitch wana put me in cell/
feelin kinda broke, hope i can make my bail/
feels like i nail to the wall, lifes just a game and i aint got the ball in hand/
wish i could stand tall and fell like a man/
kinda hard with this gun to my head/
prolly better off in a pine box/
6 feet unda ground with the dark angel/
my mind is freak like chris angel/
thought of suicide got me all angry an bitter/
life as an outcast made me feel like a quiter!!!!

[antology]

Ok, one thing i noticed is you need to work on ya flow man, really didnt feel much of it on this peice.
I thought you rhymes and vocab were pretty basic too.
Try adding some multis and some strong metaphors in to man, always makes it flow better that way.
Overall man this was pretty weak in my opinion but theres always room for improvemt so stay up man.
Reply to "A Bleeding Earth" when you get time man