Some Years; Some Days

[Spoken]

Some Years
-Some Days
.
.
To Go
.
.
.
The autumn of soft winds,
Breezing through, caressing the skin
Don’t blow in my direction
They don’t even care to show…
…a pint of interest.

They just ignore my existence.
The light eludes my figure,
Having my shadow outshine myself
So I look from the outside, in
Seeing only pale anguish
Rotting my heart to ashes
Covering past tense pain
With tear drop rain…
…that causes sorrow;
For others to feel sorry.
-for me

He
Who
Travels
Alone
See’s
The
Way
Of
Life
As
Is
And
No
Better
Than
What
Is
Plain
Sight

To the eye- I dye
My thoughts blue
To match the bruises I hide.
Fear releases visuals
From my misguided youth
That is beneath my chin
But above my chest
-Others would refer by saying I spit shit
Many others say its bullshit
But what they don’t
Want to hear ring through
Their drums that’s are selective;
Is that what I say is the truth.

They disguise me
As another psycho of the young,
But I see what they have done
What they have been hiding.
I SEE the truth.

Between Pipe Dreams,
Cracks filled with disgust
And dew- from the lateness
Of cleanliness reminding me of
-You
Days when I felt alone,
The cold would tip toe on through
Trying to avoid
A conversation with me
For I don’t want
To hear myself again.
-ramble on

Glass
Case
Emotions
Dwell
Deep
Within
The
Faith
And
Veins
Of
A
Monster
In
Search
Of
A
Home

I am home,
I have found my
Great indulgence
Of solitude.
The very place,
Were acceptance
Is key and rejection
Is not heard of.

The case between to shelves,
The little door that is not seen,
The hour that is past without…
…notification- is my home
As I am not heard of anymore
Nor am I seen or remembered.
I choose this dormitory,
This sanctum of carelessness…
…because the taste of un-wanted;

Acidity becomes quite pleasing
And where my heart
Remains to lay has eventually
Intrigued my longevity
That I have been traveling.
Borderline, with no regret.
Crimson tides,
Wash away tears of pain
In return a smile is pasted
On the gentle skin of
Happiness… so I stay grounded
To see if I get closer to you
.
.
.
Please come visit,
Before I draw the line
That ends me and you.



P.S.
Angelica I love,
Please forgive me of my wrongs.
I have plenty of good to show,
Just need to be given time to…
…let it come out right.

I’m sorry ,
I didn’t mean to pull the trigger.
I miss our son

[Spoken]

Posting links later don't close this.....

[Spoken Deity]

ima close this!

[Spoken]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-384179.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ul-383567.html


there is your links thank you!

now feed please this was a IE drop i did up in like 30 minutes at least

[David P]

The first nine stanza's seemed like they
had another story intended for them,
then you tried to switch it around
in the stanza's after, overall though
it was an interesting read, flow was good
throughout and except for where
the storyline seems to switch up IMO
this was a nice read. keep writing.

[Spoken]

no. he is tormented and beats himself and others trash talk to him spit on him and say he is fucked up for shooting his own son!. he is drowned with weak emotion but its all about himself then he lets it out why... thanks for reading though

[Alphaeus]

So I thought this was a good piece man.
I hadn't read your above post before reading your piece, but I was able to follow it alright. Your story was well thought out and written well, and I could gather up a strong image from early on in your writing.
Only thing I wasn't feeling was the on word on a line parts. It just messed up the flow a little for me personally but I like the idea.
Ending was dope when it comes out about his son’s death, which was really good.
You could tell the father was in guilt about something then right at the end he tells his secret. Nice and enjoyable read.

[Spoken]

thanks this was for IE that TP no showed on!

[Alphaeus]

no showing sucks.
hope you keep getting feed on this

[Spoken]

thanks

[Spoken]

ok fuckers bump!


damn!

[Spoken]

come on bump bitches!

[Soule]

I read this like seven hours or so ago, and forgot all about the window which was hiding at the bottom of my computer screen rofl. I loved this piece, you always have some incredible story or meaning behind your poems that leave me in aww man. The wording was anywhere between amazing and perfect. Loved the one worded stanza scenerios you had going.. it flowed real well and was creative. All I really have to say is, holy shit @ the ending. Dope poem man, Nom'd.

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-385411.html
mine and abiona's Love Language poem... 2-3 weeks in the making SHUN!!!
read it, digest it, love it.





this was a pretty dope read. def worth a HoF nod... you had a couple iffy lines here and there because of grammatical shit but for the most part you had great wording. the first half of the piece to me was better than the second half. the ending felt like it could've been SLIGHTLY better but you still managed to dopify it... the little apologie at the end was dope, like the writing there. to be honest, wasn't too much of a fan for that trickle effect you put on those bolded words, but what was said in them was beautiful so I'm not going to let structure get in the way of that. but yeah... here are some lines I liked...


They disguise me
As another psycho of the young,
But I see what they have done
What they have been hiding.
I SEE the truth.

Between Pipe Dreams,
Cracks filled with disgust
And dew- from the lateness
Of cleanliness reminding me of
-You
Days when I felt alone,
The cold would tip toe on through
Trying to avoid
A conversation with me
For I don’t want
To hear myself again.
-ramble on


^really got into that right there... had a nice flow to it, and maintained my interest well. definitely made things intriguing. you definitely are on a comeback though my dude... enjoyed this piece... we need to do something together soon and stop putting it off.



peace...



- Nash

[Spoken]

word up my dude thanks alot...RTF in a sec my friend!