Crazy
50 Cent - Crazy (feat. PnB Rock) - Official Audio! - YouTube
“I’m exhausted” it’s been 15 years since that 222 nextel text
Running down the street, barefoot, like I was losing my vest
Sometimes it feel like one day I’m a be the best
Then I listen to my favorites, studying, like I’m trying to pass some test
“This morning I almost lost it” I call the panic attacks drills
But Ive come a long way from screaming and letting go the wheel at 120 (and here they thought it was all for the thrills)
My pop pop died when my Gma was still in her 40s
She’s 97 now never dated again and still wears her ring
She loved him to death and I still love hearing about their stories
… and all the other shit that money can’t bring
I wonder why marriage is until death does you part
I mean why not until death to death bring you back together again
Cause that’s what I want if I ever find my heart
I’m confused, PTSD has me shaking… I’m writing too slow
Taking that paper instead is something too low especially when I already know
(Chorus)
I’m still wishing on stars while an alliance is breaking
For what? It wasn’t even over all I was forsaking or for a movie in the making
My sister… she was there when I couldn’t stop laughing at a kid who was retarded
Insanity a bitch, I was SO mad and hurt… like look what them bitches done did started
I caught middle bunk syndrome in criminal mental (Hannibal could’ve been on either side)
Im a far cry down from perellis and chrome that used to adorn my ride
I always did for me and nah I’m not “killing myself”
Watching myself die from the inside out and they act like it’s just some plight of mental health
A THOT? Shit, I wish a man would drop money in my accounts
But I had to do it myself clocking minor amounts
“When life gives you lemons” my mom taught me to go shopping
it’s just as therapeutic to hit these bars pissing them off with every song I’m chopping
(Chorus)
My father just died, I didn’t know you can die from a broken heart
But that’s exactly what it was when his entire life crashed and 3rd marriage broke apart
Everyone wanna talk about how he drunk himself to death
But I’m leaning more on the issue that caused it…
Cause if I could I would’ve given him my last breath
Who’s to say who is “hellbound”
Remembering each nightmare scared they may come true if I stay around
I’m not psychic, I lived my entire life with a mind that steady play tricks on me
And half of the mental ward blame God or some type of organization
… Cause hey, that’s just how we see
I remember the dream where I was raised on a cross, the land dirt and roots
I woke up screaming so loud it echoed throughout the halls – but hey that’s just how a loaded gun shoots
I’m fucked but it just is what it is and these just some of the reasons I wasn’t allowed to raise my kids