All I know is I had a bad dream, my head burned off, I moved back home, traced 1000 confessions started writing then my step dad got rid of the computer said it was broken and got a new one… I started dressing tacky feeling like 1000 different people - was closing my eyes letting go of my steering wheel looking for angels that retarded and shit - my mom took me to psych I took one pill and it was all gone that’s like 2004 I think
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I lost my job at ibm
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Got back up… then came 05 06… I think I got sick more cause I heard about Juno and not the witchcraft of a crazy stupid bitch
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They had me so confused even I doubted myself for shit I know for facts not… they still in my dreams saying I’ll be happy and have money again… HELL TO THE FUCK NO
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I refuse to compromise… get their religion off me and tell me wtf is really going on… why can’t anyone tell me that?
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I’m going to try to sleep
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It’s like you’re in your own world hallucinating and every thing lines up so it can only be god… but fear straight fear - I remember locking myself in the gas station with my phone trying to call my grandma cause I didn’t want to go to mental
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You have no control over yourself and you black out for days in there - all black like sleeping when you don’t dream
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Gas station bathroom*
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My shadows run me… that time it was like a map of shadows on the wall
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Idk what they did to be honest
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One time I snapped myself out cause I couldn’t control laughing in front of the retafded kid literally - I had to go outside to breathe - I was with my sister
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Run me nah I just meant when I got lost and crying in a parking lot for 45 minutes it was a jump in, duh, type home on my navigation
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Got home my mom came in my room and I had to go to mental
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Nah they do it for fun but it’s a legit mental issue too - so I’m tag teamed with no help to and by too
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NO way in hell
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My old friends did it for fun… they’d call my mom and lied on me
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Or the suicide note I never wrote
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It’s like being forced into a world you don’t want to be in and you’re less than to people who are less than
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If you don’t walk in my scars then don’t come to my field
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you may want to be friends but I don’t
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Why am I so powerless over them?
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Idk how to think first… I just react at first
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Then I think… then I speak… it’s a super slow process
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I want to cross back over and only hallucinate for a reason
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It feels like my life has been sacrificed to them and it’s not fair
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I didnt get anything I wanted and it’s not fair… not gonna lie I had an ok lite until mb2010
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But my family is what I wanted more than anything
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Life*
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I don’t like the ones that are stronger than me
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Trying to get mine back and don’t understand why they’re not
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why do I feel tied by these bitches?
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