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Thread: 27/06/25

  1. #1
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Thumbs up 27/06/25

    cut me some slack, been 6 months since I fumbled the bag
    cops looking to hand me a 12 year itch, but MOTHERFUCKERS IM BACKKKKK
    some of you rappers be yapping but never been arrested at all
    me? im fresh out the courtroom when nobody expected i’d walk
    head full of trauma, repent on the former actions I’ve taken
    back of a station wagon, thinkin how to tell my kids bout daddy’s vacation
    had em in waitin, dawn raid swept me aside n emptied my pride
    kicked off my door at six in the morning,
    but I get up at 5
    no generalising, they searched and seized my own property
    whole lock n key, I ain’t say nothing. im a no comment g
    code of the streets still embedded, tho it’s been years since I entered
    still adhere to the rhetoric, share the same reason and ethics
    always keep it authentic, true to life until I’m doomed to die
    between you and I suicide ran through my mind, my futures brighter…
    true survivor, scrutinise that if you want but I’m still standin’
    gotta rebuild backwards now, got no option but real lapsing
    or relapsing on drugs. seen fiends passing the blunt
    til they seize back as they puff it and feel tranq in their lungs
    every street captains a plug, everyone is selling somethin’
    never trust them at their word, you don’t earn respect for nothing
    head is full of oppressive thoughts and demonic deities
    lost on day release, better watch what the fuck you say to me
    break the teeth out of your gums, put you down with a punch
    no clowning or funny shit, think otherwise round here your dumb
    now who you fucking with? suck a dick motherfucker you pussy
    leave size 11’s stuck in your ugly mug for the gums that your running

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! TheShaman's Avatar
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    Re: 27/06/25

    Dope verse bro. Would sound great on wax.

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Main Character's Avatar
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    Re: 27/06/25

    upping because of NBA weirdos, very old school one of the problems for me is your actually trying not to relate to anyone.
    Lackluster wordplay or structure. the rhyme scheme feels very outdated. This is something my older brother would write, the content is very familiar.

    some of you rappers be yapping but never been arrested at all
    me? i'm fresh out the courtroom when nobody expected i’d walk

    My favorite line of this, It's because the rhymes are actually measured and placed in abnormal ways.
    This isn't a bad written but I have very high criteria for today's rap.

    Rhyme scheme 3/5
    Content 4/5
    Story telling 4/5
    Wordplay 2/5
    Punchlines 3/5
    Structure 3/5
    Flow 4/5

    Very curious at what your next piece will be.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! TheShaman's Avatar
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    Re: 27/06/25

    @Chree why don't you apply these "high criteria for today's rap" to your own writtens?

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